Sunday, January 18, 2009

Silence is Golden?

3 different lunch/dinner and I found 3 couples sitting over the dining table -

Scene 1: New Year and hubby and I were out for dinner at a very good retaurant suggested by his cousin. Lovely live country music,candle light dinner by the poolside. We were thoroughly enjoying our meal when we saw this couple come in. They sat 2 tables away from us - next to each other. As the meal progressed we realised that the 2 have hardly spoken to each other except decided the menu - she is meddling with her mobile and he is reading the menu from first page to the last. By then my curiousity had peaked. I couldnt help but observe that they even finished their meal in silence and left sooner than us.

Scene 2: Lunch at work with collegues.We see a couple who are always together - they come in the same bus as me,eat together (which i noticed that day) and also leave together-I've hardly seen them conversing in the bus and I attributed it to the fact that with someone else sitting next to them and the bus being full-they might not want to talk anything. But even over lunch-We hardly saw the 2 of them smile/talk-they ate their packed lunch in silence and left.

Scene 3: Project dinner party at a very well known restaurant on friday night. A couple came in and asked for a particular place to sit which unfortunately was already occupied. So they were forced to sit at a table diagonal to us. This time my friend noticed that the couple werent talking at all. Initially we were making fun that with our gang of 24 making such a din at the restaurant the poor couple who probably came there with a quiet meal in mind were disappointed - but hey! the guy looked like he was pissed off-it showed clearly on his face and he was talking to someone on the phone and obviously ignoring her while the lady was sitting with her head bent. They probably left even before we had finished our starters!

My point: Can there really be a dearth for conversation between a couple? I mean, not all conversations need to be 'life-deciding' ones, just a causal conversation like:How good the music is/comment on the ambience of the place - can be anything general - there are times that me and hubby eat in silence-but definitely not through the meal! Thankfully! There never has been a moment where we havent got anything to say to each other...

I've always maintained that it would be better if we didnt work in the same workplace. Both of us being 2 strong individuals its better to give each other some space and not crowd each other. Even if I would work in the same place, I would rather not meet him during all the breaks! There should be something to talk about after coming home,some charm left in coming home to him, eager to hear about his day and tell him about mine... And this thought only gets stronger when I see couples like the one I saw at lunch the other day.

Why go out for dinner/lunch to a crowded place, which you know would be crowded on a friday evening when you are not happy with each other? Wouldnt it be better to sort your issues in the privacy of your own home? Why embarass your partner by blatantly ignoring him/her in public? Doesnt that spoil the whole fun of going out for a meal?

A collegue jokingly commented - maybe they are so mature in their relationship that they dont need words to communicate, they can read each other's thoughts and understand the 'unspoken'. I dont agree with it at all! For me-its always better to say things out -the good/the bad and the ugly, rather than assuming he understands...

What's your take?

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with your views Rushme!! Personally, for people like you and I who can yap for hours, this is not a problem at all :-)

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