Sunday, December 26, 2010

A Father's letter to his son

(Hubby's first guest post...)

Dear S,

Someone decided long ago to set aside a special day in December to celebrate Christmas but little did they know that it would become more special with your arrival. I am not sure what is more special than the other but I know for sure that you are very special to me. Let me begin , therefore, by thanking god for a gift so special that has added a completely new meaning and direction to my life.

You are 1 year old now, and it just seems like yesterday that I carried you out of the Delivery Theatre and introduced you to what your world would be. I still cannot forget the bewildered and surprised, almost reluctant , look in your eyes when you were first pulled out of the womb. It was as if you were happy and content to stay inside amma’s belly as you knew that was the most secure place in the world.

It again just seems like yesterday that I cradled you in my arms after lulling you to sleep on my chest. I still try to cuddle you, but you're not as easily convinced anymore. Besides, how big you've gotten! Just cant believe that its already been a year. A year of absolute joy, happiness and contentment which has also brought along with it a sense of responsibility and duty towards you. I hope I can provide you with a home here on earth that you would esteem and want to share with others. A Place of love, security and freedom….laughter, health and nourishment….a place where you can grow without pre-conceived notions and judgement….and discover the world without any prejudice or malice. Most of all, a place you would proudly call HOME.

Of late, people tell me all the time that you're my clone, a mini-me. If only they knew how proud it makes me to hear that. At the same time, it's terribly frightening that someone in the world has my DNA, along with the tendency to reproduce my quirks and frailties. Thankfully, amma’s DNA helps to balance that out. That's the beauty of nature and God's system. Two flawed or one flawed (me) and one perfect (amma) human beings reproduce a blend of themselves in someone who has a lifetime to live life better than they did.

I'm tempted to say that I can't wait to see what your future holds, the joys and challenges that await you, the legacy your life will create. But I'm enjoying you too much right now. All 1 year of you.

I pray you cherish your life's journey as much as I currently am.

Being your dad is the greatest privilege in the world and I thank you for giving this opportunity.

So until your next birthday, keep smiling, stay happy and healthy.

Affectionately and with a lots of love,
Appa.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Happy Birthday Chuktu!

I cant believe its been a whole year since I first laid eyes on you! I remember my first thought was "He's so tiny! How do I take care of him!". And look where we are today! And guess what - from thinking no party to 2 birthday parties for you - little monster! One at the day care that we had yesterday and one for the family on saturday - you cannot now complain that we didnt give you a first birthday party!


Little one, You have brought us immense joy, a joy we couldnt have imagined in our wildest dreams! At every milestone, when you first began to listen to your ammamma sing, follow me with your eyes, begin to smile when we spoke to you,fall on your stomach,sit,crawl and now the latest is holding and walking and when you show off your shaky standing skills :-) I feel so proud and so happy. But at the same time there is also this feeling of sad - you are growing up so fast, baby! I feel Im missing out on so much! I try to spend as much time I can with you - still I dont want the day to end, I want to keep playing with you, making you laugh, teach you new things, there is soo much to do with you!

And there are days when you are cranky and whiny and maybe unwell that I just cant wait for the day to end. Especially when your Dad's working late and its just the 2 of us at home, after a long day I just want to feed you dinner and see you fall asleep rolling around on the floor mattress. But I guess thats also a learning - a lesson in patience that I now realise I will need cartloads of, going forward!

When you know what makes us laugh, when you try and imitate us, when you do something we dont expect - there is a pride - we know you are growing, picking up things yourself without us teaching you, but still...

But, you know what I remember at night before I sleep? Moments - moment when you drop what-ever it is you are playing with and start crawling towards me with a scream of joy,as soon as you hear my voice calling "Chutku" in the day care...no matter who is carrying you, what you are doing - you look up searching for me, find me and smile - that special smile that everyone seem to have noticed that you reserve just for me...when you wake up in the morning and stretch yourself and then search for either one of us and smile, when you hold my shoulder from behind and play peek-a-boo with me when Im busy folding your clothes - these moments are what I realise Im living for, the reason for wanting to have you, my baby, moments that I know I will keep in memory long after you've grown up. I can go on and on but I guess this is enough for now - we have the rest of our lives baby!
You have made me a mushy mom, my love - and today I have so many wishes for you that I've been praying long and hard all day long! Everything wish seems inadequate somehow, I fear I've missed praying for something important - every wish seems less and small for you.

My little one - I will only pray that you have a long, healthy life and be blessed with love,happiness and respect.

PS: I know Im a day late but what with organising 2 birthday parties for you apart from attending to office work and home, I guess that's acceptable - just so you know how hectic life is  right now, when you read this years from now...

Friday, December 3, 2010

Bosses

Are admired and respected when:

- They take up their responsibility and get their share of the work done - themselves
-They know what you are talking about when you discuss about the project with them!

- They dont push the work on subordinates and expect them to finish it within stringent timelines.
- They accept if they've made a mistake and rectify it.
- They listen to you with an open mind
- They willingly log in to late night calls if required.
- They are ready to impart information without holding back. (without thinking that they might be giving away their position if they give us the information)
- They acknowledge your hard work and appreciate it
-They introduce you as the next in line to take up their role!! *That feels great I tell ya*

And Im enjoying working here.... :-D *Touch wood*

Diwali Post - After a month!

I finally decided to post a few picutres of Diwali at home! :-) Things have been so hectic that I just didnt have time to download the picutres and put them up. Im just gonna let the pictures talk...

My Home - My Pride...

Wanted to do a flower Kollam but didnt get flowers in different colors the previous evening!  So here's my small attempt at Rangoli...
Some scented floating candles in a corner

The Complete picture of the Rangoli and diyas. The corner ones are made from brass that I specifically asked Sanju to get for me from Chennai :-) - Thanks Sanju
Sangeeta - Am still waiting for my basil and roses :-D - See how dried up my basil looks :-( I've bought a new one though now...


 View of the upper sitting area and the electric Diyas hanging
 View of the living room - notice Chutku's walker and toys?

 Hubby watching the flower pot - I didnt burst a single cracker this Diwali - just looked from the Bay window in the bedroom with Chuktu on my lap... Maybe next year I will teach him to burst them too :-D

MIL Lighting the sparkler from my Diya.

In all - the food was great,company greater. Every year I look forward to this festival that we celebrate with the entire cousins gang - thats what makes it so special I think.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Chota Mogambo and other updates

Now that all the necessary pilgrimage are done - he now looks like a little villain with clean shaven head and tiny ear rings in his tiny ear lobes.Thankfully the Thirupathi trip was easy and uneventful - though as expected he brought the roof down crying both times just because he couldnt move his hands! The minute the tonsuring was done or the ear piercing was done and his hands were free he stopped crying. Such a champ he was,he immediately began to laugh and play even when the tears in his eyes hadnt dried yet. It made me cry to see him that way - a tad guilty for making him go through the ordeal that I still dont find necessary.


Well, that done and now we are back - I cant believe that its just a matter of days now before he turns one! I still remember when I began my maternity leave and counting days for delivery and its already an year! An year thats just flown past with all the awe and pain of bringing up a new born. I can no longer call him a baby?! I can no longer say his age in months. Im living these days with these thoughts in mind - bitter that my baby is growing up so damn fast that I just dont seem to have enough moments to make memories with him. Sweet - that he is growing up to be his own person - learning all the activities at an alarming rate now.Slowly beginning to understand our words, choosing whom he wants to go to - refusing to go to new people.And he recognises his grandparents giving them immense joy.

You ask him to sing and he sings "AAaaaaaa" And then looks at my face for confirmation and smiles. He loves playing in the water now - so its a tedious task to give him a bath! Another thing he's learnt is to show his nose :-) Anyone asks him to show his nose - he scrunches up his nose and breathes heavily :-P showing his 4 small teeth.

You ask him where the bus is he points his index finger just about anywhere - thats what he's noticed when I point out buses and cars to him from the car!

He's beginning to hold onto the wall or the sofa and walk.Put him in the walker and he is a little terror - pulling down everything he can reach, putting his tiny finger in to even tinnier nooks and crannies, pulling the plastic chair,my cosmetics box,his toys - everything on himself and then moves back terrified - looks at us soo innocently like he doesnt know how that happened! We cant help but laugh.

But he also understands scolding now - a change in my tone, he realises that Im angry (maybe) and he reacts with either an 'AYE' himself or he makes this sorry smiley face ready to cry.And he still responds to my singing which is a blessing on nights he is cranky and cries in his sleep...

Most of all he's begun to show his love. He loves to climb up on us - climbs all the way up to the chest and hugs the head with all his might and makes cooing noises :-). He's happy playing by himself as long as someone sits there with him.

And slowly but steadily he's begun to move out of baby foods. He now eats the dose and idly we cook, rice and dal with veggies, apple, banana and papaya has now been introduced. Drinks the usual milk we buy at home. So, in a way he's now ready to be taken out on trips that I've again begun to dream about :-)

Guess it takes less than an year for any woman to become a mommy blogger with the world revolving around her little one :-)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Pictures and Memories

Its amazing how a few pictures can bring about a barrage of memories...

Some of the most cherished moments that perk up my mood are the ones in columbus with friends...

My simple Pooja place:



When friends came over to help for the only Anniv party we ever hosted!

House all set for the party:

When great fun was had ravishing the good food at parties


Going out to eat Dunkin Donuts/Chipotle at whim and fancy - Hubby and friends eating Donuts for dinner on competition!

The riverside - when I first saw it frozen (I was so surprised to see the river frozen!), all the times we just drove down for some nice air/chat/snack parties (when friends and food are found - thats the best party ever)

Finally, My very first kitchen - when I moved in after a week's stay at the hotel and friends hosted a housewarming for me with Gulab jamuns and then a visit to the temple...


An uncle had once said: Make memories - as many as you can,those that you can dig into and find happiness when things are not going great - I think when I feel down, these are the memories that I would want to dig into, to keep me going...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Seekho Na...

Listening to some song of Shubha Mudgal on the way to work - I remembered this song that I really loved then. Lovely lyrics, beautifully shot video. (Oh! Directed by Pradeep Sarkar - No wonder...)



And this one too - The power of "Jamke Barse Zara"...


These songs have made my day, and Im going to keep smiling all day today :-) - The next 2 songs that are going to be on my ipod soon...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

How Parents become Grand parents...

Scene 1: Thatha 1:
Chutku needs nasal drops for the nose block. Its just simple saline drops that clears his nasal passage and helps him breathe easy. So, while I left the drops with my dad with instructions to use it if required, here was the conversation:

Dad: But he doesnt like it. Poor fellow will cry.
Me: Ofcourse he doesnt like it! Who likes it if water is squirted into their nose?
Dad: Then why do you want me to put it? I will just carry him around until he feels better.
Me: But that wont help - You better use it if required.
Dad: Isnt there anything else - instead of making him uncomfortable?Poor fellow...
Me: Dad! Why are you acting like this? Its not going to hurt him! What about all the times you put me face down on your lap and squeezed those pus filled boils on my back? What do you think? - It didnt hurt me then?!! These nose drops dont even hurt!
Dad: But then I was a Dad, now Im Grand-Dad!
Me: Huh??!!!

Scene 2:Thatha 2:
In the car with FIL and MIL. FIL is driving and MIL is carrying Chutku on her lap. Chutku is trying every antic possible to grab the office car pass hanging from the rear view mirror, trying to grab the gear, pulling random sheet of paper lying on the dash-board.
MIL: My God! This fellow is so squirmy! Im unable to handle him!
Me: Give him back to me, amma - its better with him sitting in the back.
MIL passes him back to me and he begins to howl - not happy with the change of place.
Me: Chutku, keep quiet(trying to distract him)
Continues to howl...
Me: Chutku (A little louder) stop that, you cant get away with this kind of stubborn-ness.
FIL: You let him be! He will learn as he grows up. He's just a baby.
Me: But Appa, he has to be disciplined. I cant let him get away with this kind of behaviour.
Me (to chutku):Stop it. Once you begin to understand, if you continue to do this, I will give you one tight slap. This kind of stubborn-ness is just-not-done...

FIL: You will get it from me - if you even raise a finger at my Grand son!
Me: Huh????!!!!

And this, from the man, whose son still thinks twice before saying something contrary. A man who didnt hesitate to discipline his own children in more ways than one! He still scolds hubby if he finds something not up to the mark or if hubby gets stubborn when required!

What Grandparent-hood (Does a word like this exist?) makes to grown men... they turn into this gooey mushy marsh mellows when it comes to grand children! Us, children, would've never seen them in this avataar!!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Observed on a shopping trip...

All it takes to drive out the monday morning blues for me - New clothes and time for a little dress-up. After a wonderful friday evening, what with hubby throwing a surprise Bday party for me (Im still having my feet above ground, with the after effects :-) ), a great shopping saturday and a relaxing sunday, Im ready to face the monday...

Here goes some things that were noticed this shopping trip -
- Why dont they have anything in size 31? Sad... 30 is a little uncomfortable and 32 is loose!
- And why dont they have regular loose fits anymore?! Why should everything be in low raise and stretch?  Arent there anyone else in 'Pear' shape? Am I the only one? :-O
- How do those gorgeous ladies manage to shop in stilettos for hours?
- How can you eat pani puris without smudging your lipstick?
- Why is it that the Kurthi I want in my size has always been already picked up by some else and it happens to be the last piece!
- Finally - to the made-up girl in skinny jeans and fake accent - Everybody standing in the Q are waiting for their turn in the trial room - so what are you thinking when you just walk past everyone, turn around and have the audacity to scoff and the others?

Friday, October 1, 2010

This day last year...

I was very much a preggy bday baby ;-p,dreaming about all the things that the year would unfold. And in retrospect its been the most eventful year of my life. Our biggest dream come true - Our Baby growing up in

our home...

On that - Here's one little note to my one little son...

I think of the same day, last year when you were inside me and I was dreaming of all the things I wanted to teach you, to tell you, to do with you. Your Dad and I would watch your movement (imagining what you might be doing inside-cartwheeling? Stretching? Sneezing? Kicking?) and feel so excited that its going to be the best gift for our 30th Bday that God could give us.

And in these past 9 months you've grown in leaps and bounds that I'm unable to catch up with you!Standing up holding the sofa or the wall, crawling around behind every pair of feet you see, screaming to get attention, touching every one's ears - that's your latest fascination, looking around with wide eyes and open mouth at every vehicle that passes us on the way to work... And best of all I love that concentrated way your eyebrows knit when you watch those tiny ants making their way - though you still haven't learnt how to catch them. Until then I will continue to breathe that much easy... I spent the whole day that I took off yesterday looking and observing all your movements - obsessed that I am...
You finally crossed the thresh-hold (of course with some coaxing from the grandparents :-) ) and we fed you sugar - something that you already love - I hope you get that sweet tooth from me.... You've learnt to clap,  - you will be doing something - suddenly you sit up,look at my face and do - clap clap clap :-) Its so hilarious at times...But you still hesitate before you give your hand for a shake or even a hi-fi. Yes - I AM a little impatient that way! But that's ok - I will keep at it till you learn.

There's so much to tell you, but there's still so much time. I'm sure as days pass and you begin to understand our words there will be advices from everyone around including us. Don't do this, don't go there, don't touch that, don't pull that, don't don't don't...until you are all restrained and put into the same mould we all are already in...So, for the moment - just enjoy your world, son - do what you want to do,how you want to do...

I have only 1 wish this Bday - I wish to God that you stay safe and healthy and that everything you want - you get...

Love you,
Your mushy mom.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Read in Bangalore Mirror on Tuesday in an article "Elephant God's many abodes' (Unable to get the link from the paper right now...)

1000 litres of milk abhisheka done for Ganesha idol every Sakashta Chaturthi. Which means once every month. Was distrubed reading it.1000 litres of MILK?!!!

Elsewhere there are small children starving to death,mal nutrition, people dont have even a single meal a day, pregnant women are giving birth to disabled children due to lack of proper food... and 1000 litres of milk going down the drain all in the name of faith and belief... For what joy?

Now, I believe in God and prayer and everything - BUT which God would want to be bathed in milk while there are people starving? I would say God would be more pleased if we could better utilise that 1000 litres of milk to feed a 1000 children that day...

When will this begin to make sense to the people? Its so disheartening... :"-(

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

10 years younger

Is what I would like to be right now... Unattached,carefree with a job and money AND most importantly know all the hip and happening places around town.

I was talking to 2 colleagues who will be travelling onsite for 3 months and they were planning their weekend trips to Vegas and shopping etc etc; That they've learnt Salsa, that they've hauted the best joints in the city, gone on impromptu trips...I feel they are so young and they have the freedom to do what they want - rather they KNOW what they want... At 20/(25 even) I didnt know where I was going and what is it that I wanted...

Like I was telling them - The one thing that I wouldn't change even if I had a time machine to rewind 10years would be my then boy-friend/ hubby today. To be able to have a partner in crime, travel where we want, go to the latest movies and discotheques(maybe) and just paint the town red again...

Maybe in a couple of years, Chutku will share our passion to travel and read and we will be able to do all that again...

As I write this I get an official mail announcing a DJ night at work on friday! Yippeeee! Lets see if I can still shake a leg - though I now have 2 left feet...

AND... This is my 3rd post for the day!

Wish I werent

An Agony Aunt...When I can only hear the problems, sense the unhappiness and stress, foresee trouble and can do nothing about it...Especially when Im trusted with the inner most secrets and fears and all I can do is nod and say something that REALLY does nothing to help... Standing outside the situation - seeing more clearly but unable to act on anything...

Praying, - that there is no bad fall, things work out and hoping that I will be there with whatever is required IF there is a fall...

A part of mind doesnt want to be there, not knowing how to help either...

Wish to win some...

Real Etsy, arty stuff.... From here - http://hippiehollysimplesally.blogspot.com/2010/09/return-gifts.html

Holly and Sally are giving away Return Gifts and I want them! And that too with the results being announced on Oct 2nd - Just a day after My Bday - can I expect to get the Bday gift? Wow!

Am keeping my fingers crossed AND hoping to win... Would be a surprise Bday gift for growing an year older - what an end to 30 it would be...

Like I said in thier comment -

At 31 Im thinking...
How 'bout a little experimenting?
What an end to 30
It would be...
For a sober dresser like me,
If I win all the goody!


Wonder where that silly attempt at poetry came from! :-O

Monday, September 13, 2010

Our Trip to Cary

This is one trip detail that I've been procrastinating forever... Because no words can describe this trip the way I feel it...
But then I saw the photos that cousin has sent - trip photos of aunt and uncle's visit to their home and it brought memories rushing back... Of the photos we took, of the plans we made, of the plans that didn't work out!
This was one unplanned trip until the last minute Dr.A called to say he's visiting S&N.He wanted us to join him and surprise S's parents who were visiting. So, after frantic calls and online searches for flight tickets it was finally settled that A would reach there a day early on Friday, and we would join them on Saturday.
It so happened, (like it always does with us and our travels) that our flight got delayed thanks to some technical problem and we reached an hour late :-( We had just the weekend to spend with them and the 1hour delay was killing...
Dr.A and N came to pick us up and then we reached home. They had planned a surprise for the uncle and aunt - A and N had lied that they were going to play cricket *Rolling eyes* ( What else!) and when we reached N went ahead to tell them that A had a bad fall while playing and was really hurt. Aunt came running to the door - all panicky to see hubby and me at the door - her relief was so huge at seeing us and catching the lie - it was palpable! She gave us a BIG hug and we apologised (Though half hearted :-p). S had cooked awesome food (after eating my cooking for months - what S had cooked was surely awesome!) and we chatted non-stop while having breakfast. The men then went out while I had a nice sleep on their cozy bed. Post lunch plans were made to watch a baseball match at the local stadium but then a thunder storm forced us indoors - which was very good coz I remember playing monopoly and another session of gossip! :-D
Since we were all there and the weather was great after the storm we decided to go have ice-cream  at the closest Cold Stone creamery. The 3 cousins decided they wanted to drive in Dr.A's rented sports car with S promising that she would guide them right. They promptly lost their way at the very first signal :-P and after loads of phone calls found their way to the mall... Fun was had just choosing the ice cream - My! What a lot of new variety...We then went to the crabtree park and lake, it was so cool and nice - took a few pics, relaxed and went back home...
Our flight was at 3pm Sunday afternoon and the whole morning was spent in relaxed eating,chatting and playing Uno... While checking for Dr.A's flight timings (A is known for his last minute running for flights) we realised that most flights were getting cancelled or delayed thanks to storms in the entire coast and A had to come back home after his flight got cancelled.We left to the airport with lots of hope that our flight would be cancelled too and we could invariably spend another day with family...
While we eagerly enquired we were told : "Oh! You are sooo lucky Ma'am, your's is the only flight that will leave on time - there is no storm alert in Columbus!" And she looked at our crestfallen faces - not realising that we REALLY wanted our flight to be cancelled too! She must've thought we were crazy! :-P
So while the rest of them spent another glorious evening together we caught the flight back and the lovely 24 hours spent with family had to end. Columbus, back to reality and the grind of worklife had to be restarted with a really hard kick...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A Chutku Update

Weelll, It really has been quite sometime since I posted something on my little one. And since he turned 8 months old I thought I should put up all the new things he's been upto. A little mommy blogging underway...

Now that he's turned 8 months (though I wonder where the months flew by) he's getting more and more expressive. He screams at the top of his voice if he doesnt find any one of us around him. He begins to smile and coo and starts to crawl (yeah, he's crawling now) towards us - unmindful of the fact that there can be hazaar toys in-between. That makes us panic that he might hurt himself!He has also begun to hoist himself up with the least support - our finger or the edge of the crib - so the crib has almost been decommissioned - he stands up holding the edge and bends down to see the floor! We are so afraid that he will topple! So he stays on the mattresses spread on the ground now.Whew, All the makeshift arrangements that need to be done in a span of weeks!
He seems to have a perpetual cold - it never completely leaves him :-( and he hates it when we put his nasal drops. It worries me that I will end up putting them in his eyes :-O - thats the amount of wriggling he does! Hands,legs, face everything flailing and moving around,and he screams like we are torturing him with the worst!
He LOVES to look at the ThoraN strung at the main door and plucks at the tulasi leaves. He loves to watch the green trees and ANYTHING in red catches his fancy.
All the new toys we've bought for him are a waste of money - He ONLY wants the TV remote or our mobiles. And if one of us is around - we are his toys -he wriggles onto our laps, holds our legs and stands,climbs on our tummies and tries to cross across us - anything as long as he is stuck to us. And yeah, newspaper seems to be his fave toy - especially the one his Dad is reading. Give him another sheet of paper- Nah! He throws that aside and grabs the one that we are reading only...

And a few names I've given him:
Galeej Guru - Wants to have a runny nose. Brings the roof down screaming if we clean (and we ALWAYS thought we will have a very clean child! *sigh*) Its a huge effort to just wipe his nose!

Dramu Maamu - Imagine this - He is playing with the remote and Im sitting right behind him (he cant see me). He looks up, cant see me, begins to scream - I call him - he turns, looks at me,gives me a smile and then suddenly realises that he was supposed to be crying - makes a really cry-y face typically like this smiley :-( ,with eyes filled with tears and rushes towards me... Or put him down when he doesnt want to be, God! Such a look he gives - like we are abandoning him or something!
KeDi Subba - For the above mentioned reasons - I think he now realises that G'pa loves to carry him - so the minute he sees him, he's all smiles and once he's carried he begins to lean towards the direction he wants to go - which is generally towards the main door or the staircase! We think he now understands that bib means food - so if he's hungry and we carry him and put on the bib - he begins to kick his legs and opens his mouth - ready to be fed. If he;s not hungry - you can expect the screaming and hands flailing at the spoon.

God! @ 8 months this. What once he gets legs and speech we wonder! Very soon his Dad will loose more hair and Mom will start getting greys!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Saying No - A Big No No

Havent we all come across a situation like this? Unable to say No when we really want to?

I read the post at Sanju's and thought my comment would become too long - so thought will put it up here...

I blame it on my upbringing! To be polite and never say No. Dont do anything that might be rude (and yes- saying No is rude). Though that means putting your own priorities on the back burner.And now we've come to stage where sometimes we are unsure if being assertive is being aggressive! A very thin line between them - Isnt it?

Especially at workplace: I felt uncomfortable too and awed actually when I first began to hear a No from others. Awed because I never knew how to do it without sounding Rude! A team member who said No - I cant be there during the production release - because he wanted to go golfing! A collegue who refused to stay back and do that little bit extra because she had a party to attend that night... And I heard this only abroad - never at work here.

And I feel used sometimes when this inability to say No is taken for granted! No one expects you to say no when you are asked to stay late hours/do someone else's work...And when you do get the courage to say the dreaded word, people are astonished,feel bad,maybe even feel humiliated for being refused!

After 6 years in the industry, I've now got a wee bit courage to say it - No! BUT But but - I always back it up with a reason - so I dont sound rude.And I still need to un-learn not to get that nagging feeling of guilt for refusing to "help" someone.
You know what, I think I need to go and read "Dont say Yes,when you want to say No"! - again...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Wagging Tongues and Motor Mouths

Mom was mentioning something on these lines a couple of weeks ago and reading Cee Kay and starsinmeyeson how people cant stop making nasty comments and generally dont know when to stop, triggered me to put up my own post here...
Case 1:
I've always been tall - so a backbencher in school through out. I had this short friend S who always sat in the first bench. Being a backbencher, the class boys sat in the rows next to ours and behind us. That meant more interaction with them - not that I cared. But S did (Which i was unaware of) and mentioned that to her Mom. And S's mom and my best friends A's mom were both friends and they both decided that they need to 'enlighten' my mom on this.

So S's Mom came home one day, told my granny and mom that I have 'boy' friends and took amma with her to the local complex to meet A's mom. There they both spoke at length about how I talk to boys which is not good for me and that it will affect my studies and how I need to be educated about having 'boyfriends'. Amma heard them patiently and told them that she knew I talk to boys,that they come home all the time and gently chided A's mom who happens to be a school teacher herself that as elders they shouldnt be putting such nonsense about not talking to boys in our heads while for us they are just friends. And she very coolly told them that her daughter's studies and her friends are her concern and she knows what her daughter is doing in school or outside! :-) That ended the matter there but even today when Mom comes across either S's mom or A's mom - they look the other way! And frankly mom doesnt care!

Digress here: My parents have always been Pro co-education, and my friends both boys and girls have always had the liberty to drop in at any time. Dad and Mom (more Mom) know every friend of mine and even today if someone wants to get in touch with me they call home or drop in to talk to my parents and get my where abouts...And today A is still a good friend I met recently and S also had a
taboo 'Love' marriage but is completely out of touch with any of us - she just doesnt care...
End Digression.

Case 2: A school friend I had lost touch with for nearly 10+ years suddenly finds me on Orkut, becomes a friend, sees my photos with Chutku and pings me on Gtalk:
Him: Hey! Didnt know you had a baby - recently delivered?
Me: thinking"Duh!" yeah, born in december
Him:You got married long time back right?
Me: Yeah (Couldnt understand what he was implying - Im Dud like that sometimes!)
Him: Why wait so long for the baby? All OK? Some problem?
Me: *was fuming by now* refused to reply to this - I didnt know what to write - I could only think of profanities!
Him: Changing Topic: Hey! You still in touch with R? - my closest friend from school.
Me: Yeah (By now I was wary of what he was getting at)
Him: So,is she married now?
Me: No
Him: Why? Isnt it time that she get married now? Some Love failure or something?
Me: Why dont u ask her that? (Totally pissed and ready to log out)
Him: Im sure you will be knowing - tell na, after all we are such close friends,we've known each other for so long - we should know what's happening in each others life na...
Me: Refused to reply again. After which I logged out,called R and let out my anger on this guy with the choicest abuses.

I wish now that instead of refusing to reply, I should've given him some nasty retort - though I still cant think of what! I still get royally irritated thinking of this incident X-(

Monday, August 9, 2010

Friends and Bosses...

What happens when your closest friend becomes your boss? Is it possible to keep the friendship intact or will the distance begin?

I had a situation when my closest friend was asked to lead the team and I was the senior resource under him... Not happening - I said. I cannot and will not report to him.

You see - then the relationship changes - you wont know if you should behave like friends, or get distant and stop telling him that you will be taking an adhoc leave the next day! :-p And the scenario also changes,you make a mistake - you expect to be let go without making it a big issue, and the friend - makes it difficult for him to let you know you made the mistake - to scold or let go? Mail becomes too professional, call becomes too personal - what to do?

You do something really good and get due credit - then everyone around you will think more it terms of - "arey! they are close friends - what do you expect?" Rather than respecting you for doing the good task. Oh yeah! And people will also try to take advantage of your friendship even if you want to keep it professional - Can you ask Boss to give me 5 days off? What do you think Boss thinks of this situation?What do you think Boss will say at my appraisal - so Friend cant be free with you, cant say what he thinks - becomes Boss, and he will have to maintain the distance too...

Then what happens to the friend? Friend gets lost in Boss... Is it worth loosing a friend to the Boss?

And in my case - thankfully I quit - so we are still friends...

Roots we are...

Yesterday while watching Chutku playing around (Oh! He has begun to sit and crawl now) we found our that for a few moments that we are not there - he screams/cries to draw our attention to him. And when we respond - look at him,smile - he smiles back and goes back to playing. We realised that he just needs us to be around him, once he is done playing - he crawls back to us - to be carried,lifted,hugged - to be reassured that we are there...

And that hit us - Isnt that what we expect out of our parents too - to be reassured that they are there when we want them? Moving out and starting a life of our own in our new home, with Chutku - not very difficult only because we knew that parents were there. Someday when we cant handle the day we can just give them a call and they are there - 2 sets of parents, 4 pairs of hands - to take care -of us,our home, our baby.

We can find our wings, fly the nest - fly far knowing that our roots are strong,that we can come home anytime - no questions asked, no answers needed, all support given -Reassured that we can fly again, we can take off...

Parents - the roots - and they let us find our wings,support us while we learn to fly - find our own paths, yet always waiting to support when we most need them...

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Some basic Qs

Why do men need more AC than Women?
Why do men think that women cant enjoy life once they become mothers?
Why dont men like taking instructions or reporting to a woman even if she is more experieced and better at work?
And this one has never been answered - why do men refuse to take directions?!

Facebook Fad

OK so now Im on facebook.Orkut has become ancient now.Everyone who is anyone is on facebook these days. But I find Orkut better.Somehow the ease with which I can navigate - scrap,put up photos,find friends - cant find that with Facebook.

So what's so great about facebook people? Someone tell me - help me learn! Why am i finding it so messed up that I cant understand what's 'Poke' and what's 'writing on the wall?" How come I am not able to find my "wall" where people are supposed to have left me messages? And what happens when i 'Poke' someone, someone has 'poked me' - so what? Do I really need all those 100 thousand messages saying someone I know has 534 friends and I also need to add them to my list?Why cant I find the photos that people have posted? And I cant even find the farm where everyone seems to be growing trees and keeping pigs!

Whew! Facebook has me zoned-out of social networking!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Recap of the past few months

Yoohoo! Im back! And back at work! Things have been working out really good for me and God's been kind. He's given me a good career change where I can take Chutku to work with me and leave him in the day care.
The past few months have been such a frenzy of activities - with us moving to our own home, changing jobs, learning to take care of Chutku and managing the house all alone.

Now that Im back at work, there is a consistent guilt of not having completed a lot of tasks. Guess its always a see-saw with prioritising. I enjoy coming out to work,meeting people and generally feel more happy. On the flip side its really depressing to see that I havent yet personalised our home with even a single picture of us or its not as clean as I want it to be. Or I get worried and guilty when Chutku has a bad cold and he doesnt sleep at night - Is it because Im not spending much time with him? Am I not giving enough time and proper care to him? And now that he's 6months and we still havent got the toys that he's 'supposed' to have by now - Are we not giving him the mental stimulation he requires for his growth? But at the end of the day - he seems happy and relaxed and there is no problem with his eating and sleeping habits - I guess that should be enough for now.

And last but not the least - Have absolutely no time for personal grooming! I sometimes wonder where is the person I once knew when I look into the mirror! :-(
I would love to party/go out more often - Havent even bought books since there is no time to read(or I would have to steal minutes from precious sleeptime)! But then I would have to leave Chutku with G'parents which means even over weekends we will not be spending much time with him - So we end up not going out anywhere at all! So its a see-saw - To go /Not to go, To stay/Not to stay. Hope things improve once he begins to eat our food and able to express himself better...
An uncle said - Its going to be sleepless nights for you for the rest of your life - Its never going to end - looks like we are getting there slowly!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Im blessed!

-A group of construction workers going home after a tiring day. Nearing the bus stop they see the bus that they need to take to go back home. They run for the bus. Unfortunately among them is a lame guy who is unable to run. The others leave him behind and get into the bus and the bus almost begins to move. The lame guy puts in all his effort struggles and trips but still manages to run as fast as he can and gets into the bus which has slowed down thanks to his friends. There is a sense of accomplishment on the guy's face.

-Children of construction workers are walking on the street. They see a car that is being parked. The driver is trying to negotiate a tough spot and is reversing and changing gears.Finally he parks, gets out, locks the car and walks off - He does not even notice these children. One among them who has noticed everything imagines himself as the car. making a 'vroom' noise with his hands on the steering runs backward,forward,honks and then settles himself next to that car - as if parking himself! He touches the car and walks away.And there is such a joy on that child's face.

- The same set of children, there is a pair a sisters - one really small, has just learnt to walk. she picks up a lollipop stick that has fallen down (there is no lollipop on it- just the stick) and puts it in her mouth. The elder sister takes the stick from the little one's mouth, puts it in hers, imagines to enjoy it and then puts it right back in the little sister's mouth. There is a satisfaction of enjoying it and sharing it on the big sister's face.

Some small things makes me wonder that I must have done something good somewhere, in this birth or the previous for God to have been kind enough to me to have given me all the privileges that I enjoy today!Am I not blessed to have been born as me?

Sunday, March 14, 2010

MarghaLi Poove

Im back for a few minutes, just to post this song for my few visitors:



I LOVE this song. The music (AR Rehman ofcourse!) the picturisation, the scenic beauty - just everything.I first heard this song when I was a teenager and I loved imagining myself in a place like this... All carefree and full of life...

Speaking of life - it seems to be going at supersonic speed! So wait for a lengthy update post coming soon... ;-p (Like anyone would be interested!!)
Is anyone still visiting here? Do leave me a comment plz - so I know you were here!

Friday, February 12, 2010

At 2 months

Chutku seems to have grown by leaps and bounds though he still suffers from severe colic. And every week his timings shift. These days his night begins only past 2 am and its a test for my patience.
He has now begun to lift his head when we carry him and can move his body so quickly that it gets a little scary at times that he will fall down. Which seems to be his perpetal fear as well. Even while sleeping he seems to get scared very fast and screams his head off until he is picked up.
He also looks at any bright movements and smiles at the colorful toy that his G'ma has bought for him.
And he is facinated with his ammamma's voice and seems to converse in 'ooh' and 'aah' with her - and that too at 1.30 in the middle of the night! I inturn, face the other side and try to get a few winks...
I am now leaving him for a couple hours and get away for some things that need to get done for the house.
Ah! Am now learning the joys of parenting...

Friday, January 22, 2010

A month later...

Chutku turns a month old today and life has only revolved around him. Like Santosh has mentioned Im gonna turn into a complete Mommy blogger - I have no clue whats happening around the world otherwise! And this is the best place to diary all tese for posterity.

This has been the fastest month I've ever lived! I have no idea where the days are flying past and I have not a thought for work :-) Im so totally engrossed in being a new mom and Im loving the experience.

Though the little one has been suffering from stomach pain and Im having to spend sleepless days and nights - Im just praying that things settle down for him soon.

He has already begun to display his personality and has already kept us around his little finger. I never imagined that my Dad would turn out to be a mushy old man in front of the grandson and Im totally impressed. The generally serious Maamu is so taken by him that now that he's not in Blore he calls everyday to ask how the little fellow's day has been.His granny leaves all the day's work the minute she hears him wail and his Dad comes running all the way from work just because his son was sleeping yesterday and he couldnt carry him...His other set of grand parents come every alternate day just to see him.

As for me - The maid has a superstition that Im making my son sick because i cant stop looking at him. I think that says it all...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Here Comes the SON!!

On the 22nd of December.And i cant begin to think how life has changed a complete 360deg!

We thought we were prepared for the night-outs and days filled with baby stuff.BUT there's just no preparation for the emotional and mental upheaval when he cries - and we have no way of figuring out why the tears...

Everyday of these past 12 days have been as different as day and night and everyday a new learning experience as a parent to both of us-from feeding/nppy changing/putting him to sleep/figuring out why the wail...And like I was telling someone - Im handling all Priority 1 issues atleast 2 times every night! A lifetime of Post Implementation support begins...

And Im so glad that hubby's paternity leave has been so helpful and I have a new found respect and a lot more love for him - looks like he's gonna be a better Dad than a husband!! :-)

These have been just some random thoughts at the moment and I need to rush! I just got a bleep in the form of a wail! Running along now...