Thursday, August 19, 2010

Saying No - A Big No No

Havent we all come across a situation like this? Unable to say No when we really want to?

I read the post at Sanju's and thought my comment would become too long - so thought will put it up here...

I blame it on my upbringing! To be polite and never say No. Dont do anything that might be rude (and yes- saying No is rude). Though that means putting your own priorities on the back burner.And now we've come to stage where sometimes we are unsure if being assertive is being aggressive! A very thin line between them - Isnt it?

Especially at workplace: I felt uncomfortable too and awed actually when I first began to hear a No from others. Awed because I never knew how to do it without sounding Rude! A team member who said No - I cant be there during the production release - because he wanted to go golfing! A collegue who refused to stay back and do that little bit extra because she had a party to attend that night... And I heard this only abroad - never at work here.

And I feel used sometimes when this inability to say No is taken for granted! No one expects you to say no when you are asked to stay late hours/do someone else's work...And when you do get the courage to say the dreaded word, people are astonished,feel bad,maybe even feel humiliated for being refused!

After 6 years in the industry, I've now got a wee bit courage to say it - No! BUT But but - I always back it up with a reason - so I dont sound rude.And I still need to un-learn not to get that nagging feeling of guilt for refusing to "help" someone.
You know what, I think I need to go and read "Dont say Yes,when you want to say No"! - again...

3 comments:

  1. I used to think this was being assertive, but this is more than assertive. It takes a special something to fight our up-bringing and say NO without feeling guilty.. pretty difficult stuff.

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  2. Its very imp to learn say NO in professional life.. Where I struggle is when I have to say NO to people to say things with a lot of affection... I will never be able to say NO here for sure!!

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  3. Hey true!! it is very difficult but you will kind of get used to it if you say it often enough without ending up feeling guilty for it!! try it!!! :)

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