RM wrote about friendship here and I started to comment. Realising that my comment was getting longer - I decided to put a post of my own here...
OK, let me begin by saying - I have a lot of friends. And I have been in touch with those who really matter to me constantly, thru the years. Off late, school friends whom I had lost touch with, also met and we hit it off instantly - like we never had all these years between us and Im so thankful for that! We try and meet as often as we can and everytime we meet its fun and we begin where we left off last time.
I have 1 friend who's been with me since class 4, we share the same name and everyone who knows me, knows her -atleast by reference. And she knows all my secrets too. But does that mean I can call her at 2am? No, I dont think so. Will she call me at 2am - dont think so either! We know we CAN do it but we DONT. Why? No answer - Is it because we've always depended on family more for support - be it physical or emotional? We've both never lived out of the house all our growing up years? So, we dont even know what it is to have such a friend with whom we share everything with?
We do share everything, we still have the same ideas and thoughts. But practically, I know she cant help me at 2am, if need be! Would I leave everything and be there for her - Emotionally - Yes! Physically -will she think of me first - I dont think so, since she knows I have my constraints... I think this is what happens - growing up. Knowing that she is there but she wont be of much help. I'd rather call a couple of my other male friends if I really need any help! They will definitely give me the physical help I need immediately and THEN I would call her up and talk to her. Sometimes, distance matters too... Knowing she is in another timezone and she might not have had time for me. I know that she was hurt when there were things I hadnt told her only because I couldnt talk to her immediately!
We have had enough differences growing up that there was a time when the friendship was completely strained. But I hope, today things are much better and settled down!
And then there's S, knowing she is hubby's cousin doesnt stop me from telling her everything! Timezones not withstanding there are times when we talk for hours together on phone and sometimes have chain of mails between us. And we do tell each other everything - somethings that even our parents/hubby would'nt know. We relate to each other more emotionally than I do with anyone else. So is she my 2am friend? Nope - here again I would think that I would be distrubing her if I did call her at 2am!! Call me considerate for the others but I cannot call anyone at 2am - except of course Hubby and my parents... And I cant call them BFF - now,can I?
So are these girls my BFF/not BFF? Is something wrong with me to not think of them as BFFs? Or like I said earlier - because I never lived away from my parents I dont know how to call someone at 2am and confide in them?
And finally - Isnt friendship like the picture? You need each other's support to walk ahead - yet you have your own paths to take. A very delicate balance, there...
“Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!” – Bronwyn Polson