Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Every Whining has a silver lining...

First the whining...

Things have just been hectic for over a month now with Hubby having to stay back late everyday and work weekends and I come home with Chutku by the office bus. Though I have informed the team and the manager that I would be working from 8am to 5pm and take the 5.15pm bus, the team gives me anything for review only by 4.45/5 in the evening just as I take my bag and start " You're leaving? What about my code review/doc review then?" They ask. So invariably there are "not so good vibes" going around at the work place.

As for the home front - (the lesser said the better, but I always talk more na?;-) ) So things are hectic with the maid absconding every other day, the cook spilling oil all over the stove and the floor at 6.30 in the morning and refusing to clean it up. She said she will get late for the next house and wiped all the oil with a tissue and just left! :-O I had to again wipe it all up in fear that one of us might have a nasty fall - especially the little fellow. And then last week there was some issue which needed my clarification at work and I got a call from office as soon as I reached home. The milkman hadnt come that morning and I had bought milk on the way back which needed to be put in the fridge. So, there I was with phone in 1 hand, milk packet in the other to be kept inside and within a fraction of a second Chuktu squeezed in between me and the fridge door,grabbed at a big glass full of milk and... you can imagine the kitchen floor and him. I was totally lost. I first told my manager I will call back, removed the little fellow's wet clothes, trapped him in the high chair and it took me 30mins to clean up the kitchen floor 2 times with water :-( So these are the days right now... And it all hit me like a ton of bricks a couple of days back when I get a call again from the manager (after I've updated everything to him and left) for some issue that did not really need me and then he said "You are not available". That snapped something and I felt let down - mostly by myself - wondering how is it that everyone else is able to manage their careers and homes so wonderfully when I cant handle it for even a couple of months. I always thought myself to be very strong - emotionally and mentally.

Now for the small silver linings.
# Hubby saw the effect of all this on me (I broke down on monday) and told me "Lets go on a holiday,so think about it when you feel low :-) '. Yaay! I know, I KNOW that it will be another month or so before things settle down at work for him and we can even go for a weekend. BUT I have a holiday to plan that will ease my mind AND I can look forward to some nice relaxed days. So, does anyone have any suggestions for 3 day outings from Blore which is also child friendly?

# Since last tuesday until yesterday I had conversations with 3 friends who are all having their own problems. And after talking to me they all said it made them feel better.1 of them pinged me on communicator later:

"R, my heart became lighter,I felt so bad on my meeting..poor guy my husband listened all my scrap stories and said OK..leave it..if not interested leave the my feelings of badness doubled..but speaking to a person travelling in same boat will lighter my feelings...I realized it today.thank you "

And another mailed me:

"Feeling lil relaxed after talking to you. Was so full since morning and worst part is I cant share anything wid my parents also. Tdy whatever we did chit-chat had no conclusion or outcome, still feeling ok today. Was almost dead bfr that. Thanks a lot. U being my friend is gr8 support, this is second time when u really pricked my pain and m reliefed. My C-section became very managable cause ur words were very powerful and encouraging then too. Ur words give power to survive when suffering. Thanks again. Really love u this time."

Not that I did anything - I only heard them out... But these are my silver lining that gives me some satisfaction and peace that I have been of some help to someone today...



  1. OMG! How shameless people are! Why do people think they own your life just because they are paying you a salary to work there? Maybe you could make a list of all the people who gave you work at the last minute - record the dates and times - and then just bring it up with them or the boss saying, how come people cannot schedule their work properly? It's weird that they don't see that the time management problem is with them. And how about scheduling a meeting with you boss - so that it's on your terms - and then telling him that you have been proactive, asked for promotions, not been given any motivation in the team (think you mentioned that) and still required to be on call 24/7... why should you be? Or if you think boss would be unreceptive how about talking to HR? I feel like the Indian corporate work culture is like this but the more people put up with it the more the nonsense will go on. Your's seems like a big company, at least on paper their HR policy should not be geared towards employees working overtime... so make them live up to it.

  2. Hugs hugs hugs darling...Arey that manager ki toh!

    dont worry too much..we all go through the same thing...I am also facing problems at work in terms of a new guy joining in at the same level as mine, with zero work ex and on top of that I have to do his work as well...its pretty frustating..I am not quitting becausae of the work hours which suit me well...all other firms, staying back becomes mandatory and R is in such a age, that I dont to be later than this...already she is out of the house for 12 hours...what more than that!

    I can so understand what you feel especially the last moment work given..its seriously bugs me like my previous company with bloody eight months of pregnancy my super boss actually called me back from the railway station to make some stupid changes that could have been done by anyone...isnt that frustrating!!!

    Hugs to you and keep helps to take out the frustrations :)

  3. @ Bride - Im just short of doing something drastic. But like I've said before too - Im trying to suck it all up for the sake of the daycare. Have given myself a deadline and if things dotn improve by then I will think of changing jobs for sure. :-) Thanks for that anger on my behalf - it feels good that there is someone who thinks like me!

    @RM - I completely understand you. 12hrs IS a long time and we need to find a balance. Why dont you talk to someone about the other guy having no work exp? I mean he will be there only for namesake and you will end up doing everything :-(
    you know how it is here - there are people who are ready to stretch and 'prove' themselves at the drop of the hat. Or people who dont have to travel much come at 10 and leave at 7-so the 2hrs after 5 is what is being noticed...

    Anyway like I said Im concentrating myself on the silver linings for now :-)

  4. RS, the discrimination towards pregnant women and mothers do exist every where, but I feel in India it is very high. My sisters do go through similar experience as you said in the post, here the difference is even men is equally involved in all activities like cooking, picking kids, and all domestic works, they do understand the importance of leaving on time. I so wish in India we make men work in similar way so that they experience these issues. This is one issue that scares me getting back to India.

  5. This lack of respect for work-life balance is what makes being a working mom so hard. Hang in there. And look for a replacement for the cook!

  6. Since I am in the same boat as you (minus the house work part) I can empathize some.

    But the old folks knew what they were talking about when they said a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved and that misery loves company :-)