Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday Fun - The not so fun traits

I've so far been writing the good and naughty stuff of Chutku but off-late I've begun to see so many of his own 'traits' that both amuse and worry me!

Stubborn - I've been mentioning here how his ego hurts to say sorry, how he refuses to do something.Offlate his favourite word seems to be 'No' - "No Amma No, peech no" - if he doesnt want to sleep, be fed for everything. You ask him to pick up something and he doesnt wantto get up from your lap - No,remove shoes - No. Sometimes to feed him dinner I put cartoon rhymes  - so he says - "No Cartoon, no mummmumm!" Its become a challenge to make him eat/sleep these days! Even bath that he used to enjoy - no... Oh! And the latest today - early morning potty cleaning - "No Diapy change! No!!"  Huh?!
Nautanki - Im seriously considering sending him to an acting/drama school to perfect the art. He knows drama - My God! He knows it so well, I bet he can beat any of our heroes in acting these days and win a Filmfare award too :-P He created a scene a couple of days back when I went to the day care - shouting and screaming like I was leaving him forever! The other mother there just kept giving me BAD stares because I was leaving my crying,kicking son and going away. I knew he would stop it the minute I went out, but my heart didnt agree - so I stood outside the closed door and peeped inside through the glass - and my guess was bang on! The little monster was happily running around and pulling something. Draame Baaz. And he has learnt what works on my parents too - he doesnt need me these days.

Possessiveness - So far it was possessiveness only about me - no one should touch me,no other kid should sit on my lap.But these days its all about things. If any other kid has a toy in hand he has to rush and grab it. The small slide at the day care - if he wants to play - he wants to play RIGHT NOW no matter who else is already playing - lots of pushing and showing and hitting :-( too happening. And the care takers tell me that he does that only when Im around which I dont believe. I've been telling them to teach him the concept of sharing since its difficult for me to teach that at home :-(

Hitting/Shoving/Pushing - Like I already mentioned above - this has become a very common feature - the minute he doesnt get what he wants, he begins to hit saying 'Atthi' (aDDi in Tamil Which means hit - i was told). He learnt the word at the day care from the care takers. No amount of telling him that 'atthi' is bad doesnt work. Im at a loss how to make him understand that hitting/pushing ios bad. And Im scared at this rate that some parent in the daycare will complain of his rowdiness :-( There HAS to be some control when he is around other children. The hand is almost always in the raised position these days and Im damn scared of the consequences!
Some one tell me what to do? Pretty Please.


  1. :( I cant , but seems u r frustrated now :(

  2. Babes..dont you worry...ALL KIDS GO THROUGH this...hugs hugs hugs....he will be fine soon

  3. What can I say, RS?! But, to say that I face the same things too! :(

    No is one blanket word for everything at my place too. And RM once told me this NO phase will not end for now! :(

    I have 2 of them at home and yet making them learn to share is a big big task. Keer snatches everything which Kau has and this will eventually result in Kau biting her endlessly. Last evening, with a bite, a part of Keer's skin peeled off! :(

    I can give you some comfort about the hitting phase though. Keer was doing this regularly till some days ago and then, it has mellowed down a bit now. I hope it stops completely.

    I fervently hope that this is just a phase and it goes away soon. **Hugs**

  4. The only thing I can say that helps with kids is to teach them consequences of things and be firm about it.
    Tell them that hitting is bad and the next time they do it they will say get a timeout or not get something they want (like get to read a book they love). If you follow through over time things do get better.

    Another thing that helps is to give them a choice between two things and let them pick one or the other. Because it is also about control for them. It could be as simple as do you want to read the book or watch cartoons? or do you want to watch this cartoon or that? Do you want to take off your shoes or want me to take them off? All you need to do if figure out choices so that you get them to do what you want no matter what they pick.

    Hope it helps. As for the rest loads of hugs. This too shall pass.

  5. @Bubblegum - Frustrated - not yet! but Im sure worried that my son is growing to be a rowdy!

    @RM - I hope so - and soon!

    SnS - God! With 2 hikd in the house it must be that much tougher to handle! (Hugs) to you too!

    Comfy - I dont think he still understands time out or not giving some toy - he isnt actually attached to any such thing - the only thing he loves doing is to keep running around! And THAT I dont know how to time out - will try and see how that works.
    As for giving him choices- thats what I've begun to do now and sometimes the answer is 'No' - my options dont suit him :-) -He doesnt want to remove his shoes :-P

  6. The 'No' phase is frustrating. I guess I can't advise you out of my experience coz each kid is different.

    But I guess I echo what Comfy has written. Even I used to give them options. When they get to choose, they certainly feel important and happy to have control over what they want. We also get them to do what we want irrespective of their choices.

    One more medicine to this 'No' word is that we too avoid using this word. If we don't want them to do something, we have to tactfully put our disapproval across without the usage of this dreaded word. This worked for me - I almost banned this word from my vocabulary during that phase of Mantam's.

    Hope you find the best way to deal with it and Chutku gets over with this phase soon.