Penny for my Thoughts

Taking a short Break...

2012-01-23T10:32:00.003+05:30

Yippeee!! Im going away this weekend with my school friends! :-D to Coorg! All bookin done and we leave early thursday morning and be back on saturday night - and I CANT wait until thursday! :-D

And talking of blogging - Im thinking of taking a break here too for some time...Yeah, I know, for someone ho hardly blogs like once or twice a week this sounds ridiculous - did to me too... but then I saw RM's mail and Seema's mail (Thank You, ladies) and I was overwhelmed that they thought about me when they didnt see my comments.

I think thats another think with blogging - one doesnt really need to write everyday - as long as your friends know that you are around which you do by leaving your comment on their posts thats enough. But off-late there are so many things happening and at such a fast pace-life is throwing me things from all directions and right now Im a little high-strung and short of time. And let me admit-blogging is an addiction-Though Im not posting, Im definitely spending a lot of time blog hopping and commenting which I must ashamedly admit has affected my work. I need to catch up! So Take Care Ye' All... I'm still around but I might not be a frequent visitor on a daily basis and will catch up over the weekends (Hopefully, if Chutku lets me). This space matters to me and I dont want to just do it for the heck of it rather than enjoying it...

This break is just for a short time - A month max? Please, Pretty Please will you all still hang around here and not leave me? *Sob sob*

Versatile blogger - huh?!

2012-01-17T18:15:00.002+05:30

Woohoo! My first ever blogging award for popularity! I mean - I had seen this being passed around a long time back among bloggers that I read and admired but for this to come to me - Wow! Thanks Deeps And Im really sorry that I took this long to publish this here. 7 random things about me is so hard to write! I remember another tab that had gone around like this about quirks that I thought I will just post that link here but I knew Deepsi would just come behind me with a big fat stick - so here it goes again...

The Rules for the Versatile Blogger Award says:
Nominate 15 fellow Bloggers -
Inform the Bloggers of their nomination
Share 7 Random things about yourself -
Thank the Blogger who nominated you
Add the Versatile Blogger Award picture to your Blog Post

- Something on physical appearance - I have a big mole on my face which generally fascinates kids and babies - except my own. (Of course sometimes the adults too comment but the social conditioning stops people from saying anything most times). I wear spectacles and lens make me extremely uncomfortable and to add to it - hubby likes me with my specs on! Though I do like wearing make-up and admiring people who wear makeup and matching jewelery, I just dont have the patience for it. So I dont even buy them-just look at them and ogle at the counters in big shops and come home. And Im not even confident that I can carry off a made-up look. I end up eating even that bit of lipstick during the car ride even before we reach any function. So, its really not worth the effort...

- I am a extremely lazy and a big procrastinator - I keep postponing things until the time when there is a fire underneath to get things done.

- I love home deocr stuff and can spend hours lurking at these design/decor websites and keep thinking I should do them-but from point 2 - it never gets done...

- I love a good arguement but I hate confrontations. I can argue on something I believe strongly for hours but The minute I need to argue to 'fight' - I just give up-even if I know Im right especially in the workplace. Im sure if hubby is reading this he would be smirking coz Im completely the opposite at home!

- Though not exactly a cleanliness freak, I try to keep the house atleast clean enough for first glance - just incase someone drops in! - some kind of a fetish that even at 10-11pm I would be sorting out clothes sometimes...

- Im quite a scaredy cat - I can never sit on a roller coaster or watch a horror movie. I couldnt sleep for almost a week after I watched RGV's Bhooth and hubby still laughs at me for it :-(

- I love travelling and seeing new places. Thankfully, its a passion I share with the husband and before chutku we did do quite a bit of travelling. I think its time to resume that again... Infact 8 months in the US and we were hardly home over the weekends. We were called the 'tourist aunty/uncle' by some friends...

And here's the previous one for quirkiness:

http://rushmechatter.blogspot.com/2008/11/quirky-me.html

Thankfully I will absolve myself of tagging anyone - oh no wait! Hmmm... Let me tag Sanju, the one who introduced me to blogging and I know lurks at most blogs :-D without commenting to take this one up...*evil grin* everybody else I read have already been tagged and have also completed the tag- yeah yeah.. I know I AM the procastinator...

Friday Fun - Toddler Updates

2012-01-06T12:07:00.002+05:30

Ever since the Little monster has turned 2, the mostrocity has only increased double fold. Its becoming highly unpredictable to tell what he's going to do next. Ofcourse, his vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds and everyday he forms a new perfect sentence we stop and ask him to repeat it just to reveal in his thothla language :-)

Some of his latest antics:
He loves his bath time (most days) and runs naked into the bathrooms in the mornings. Its mostly his dad who gives him the bath and more often than not you can hear his demands for 'thale naana' - head bath.His concept - pour ANYTHING on the head and it becomes a thale naana! So the other day, my poor unsuspecting Dad was sitting down on the floor and watching TV while this fellow went to him with a huge basket full of toys. The next thing we know-he has poured the entire contents of the lego blocks, small cars,random toys all on my father's head and my Dad is sitting stunned still not understanding what happened! Then he says - "Thaatha, thale naana!"....
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He now listens verrry carefully to what we talk and the result is this:
He calls my Dad: "Riiiiii" like how my mom calls and if he doesnt find him anywhere he goes to my mom and asks "Arii yelli?" If he is asking any body else its Thatha but when its my mom it becomes "Ari"!!

FIL: "Raamiiiiii" like how my MIL calls him! These days even when he wants to call him - he calls him by name and I HAVE to keep correcting until he goes back to calling either of the Grand fathers as Thatha!
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Context: He loves to wipe any surface with any cloth he can get - appa's baniyan,amma's dupatta, thatha's kerchief even ammamma's saree!

Yesterday evening we reached home a little early and I just sat down to read something while this fellow played. He came behind me and began to wipe my back with my Dad's kerchief. The next thing I know,I find something cold running down my back and I screamed and jumped and realised that this fellow was pouring his 'sippy nee' down my back. And when I screeched - he calmly put the bottle down, took the kerchief from the floor and began to wipe my back. All this while, my Dad just sat there and was laughing loudly! He apparently saw what this fellow was doing - even opened the sippy cap for him and wanted to see to what extent this fellow would go!! Trust the thatha to be hand-in-hand with the mischief! And then DAd gives me an explanation - he was not satisfied with just wiping without water - so he poured the water on your back!! W.T.H!!!!
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Finally, his Dad still has the split on his finger and he keeps asking everyday "Appa,abbu?" when he says yes, he comes back to me and shows his thumb and says "Amma, nannuuu abbu amma, kissie koDu" Is this called Sympathy Pain? Whatever!

Simple Everyday Things...

2012-01-04T15:43:00.002+05:30

That can make you happy:

Making sure that I work-out every morning for atleast half hour and the machine at the end of it shows a burn of 250Calories...

The small bit of effort in 'dressing up' to work doesnt go un-noticed! Everyone commenting on how good I drape the saree or how good the new dress looks on me. A pair of lens in place of thick specs, a matching bindi, eye liner, changed ear rings (I wear the one pair regularly and its kind of grown into my skin these days) and an added bracelet...

At the daycare: Ensuring the little one always has a spare set of clothes including the wipe cloths and bibs, matching coat and topi with the shirt and pant - an hour's effort put over the weekend. And making sure he has different brkfast,different vegetable and a different snack everyday for dabba - all makes for a 'Good Mommy' tag! Ofcourse that makes me happy for the lack of sleep on sunday afternoon while I set his clothes for the week or the 15mins of less sleep time to pack everything...

Finally, some long forgotten messages from the hubby :-D
07/03/2008 at 7:19am that says: "Theres a nip in the air.Better take your coat".
09/09/2008: "I lost to you eons ago" (obviously must have been some argument!)
23/12/2008: "Cool.Am near Swagruha Hotel.Still a long way to California" (I remember this-I had msgd him that I was listening to Hotel Califonia on the ipod)
26/03/2009: "I cancelled the sat practice.All the things I do for you grrr"
12/05/2009:"Listen to Radio city, am selected to go to SA, might be on air in 10mins" (This was his dream-got selected to watch the IPL 20-20 finals in SA because he answered all the questions right!)
08/06/2010: "Very hungry.Whats thr at home." (Typical him - always hungry for junk food)
06/12/2010: "Hurray! The Gods have opened their eyes.Ur bill is less than mine" (On my mobile bill)
22/12/2010: "Did you see me.Smart man too" (When I msgd him that I saw some smart guy in the office canteen)
03/06/2011: "Just realised tht without u im not even half the person i am.Am in a meeting now." (huh?)
15/09/2011: "Am getting into a call now.Will speak to you later. U r doing a great job. Just hang in thr" (when I was stressed in the previous project and was contemplating quitting).

New Year and all that Jazz...

2012-01-02T17:11:00.000+05:30

'Ello! Wishing my few readers a very happy new year...

A quick recap the last year and what we did over the weekend and what I look forward to in the coming year...

I dont remember half that things that happened last year! It went by in a flash... A couple of things to note was the sad demise of Hubby's uncle - which made me reflect on where I will be at 70... a trip to ChikkamagaLur/Hebbur and another heritage trip later in the year with cousins... Personally the biggest change for me has been the career shift. Having said that on ther personal front - blogging opened up new friendships - so what if they are virtual (ofcourse increasing readership egging me on to post more often!) - an exposure to a lot of things that otherwise I would be unaware of. Making me more conscientous and more aware of what is happening around me.

Here's what we did over the weekend...

Impulsively took friday off to spend the day with brother and SIL.Despite the cyclone Thane creating really cold winds and drizzle through the day, we went shopping and lunching with them. Bro wanted to buy this multigym (has a cross trainer,cycle,step up and a circular base that rotates-meant to work out the sides) which we thought we will take a look at too and then eventually he dropped out (some shipping issues) and we bought it! :-O Horror of horrors - suddenly, now the whole family - hubby,bro and SIL, parents and in-laws have all begun to notice the tummy that I kept cunningly hidden (or so i thought!) and insisted that I begin working out...We then had lunch at Rajdhani in Mantri Mall (Yummm food) and while I ran around trying to find a thin black belt for a top, bro was busy buying toys for the little fellow. Came home by 5 and hubby rushed to work (duh!),bro and SIL left to the airport and we just we ate and slept by 9...

Saturday morning was lazy and relaxed. I didnt want to keep any of hte weekly chores for the 1st (Im very crazy like that-1st day of the year and all) so finished all the cleaning,clothes cleaning by afternoon and happily read my book while hubby and Chutku slept. Evening I fed dinner to Chutku, dressed him up in smart new clothes and we started to Hubby's uncle's house for the new year family party. Last year was at our house and though it was a lot of fun it was also a lot of running around which I happily didnt have to do this year :-) On the way the little fellow puked ALL his food ALL over himself and half on the Dad and the car seat. So, right there in the middle of the road, we had to stop,clean put some old clothes on him (Duh! I didnt think of this, so just carried his regular office bag which has some old clothes a spare for the day care) and we were the last ones to reach the party. Hubby and I - though we did argue at that time decided not to get our mood spoilt and so just took the situation as it came. Once there, we had a blast! The usual games of Antakshari and dumb charades and then cutting the new year cake,yummy dinner and then finally playing Housie where eventually I won both the middle column and the full house!! :-D Yippee! To win something first thing in the new year! Got back home only by 2pm after dropping the in-laws home. Oh! And how can I forget - Chutku filled up his empty stomach by eating only and only potato chips!! Just let him be not wanting to create a scene there... but was still disappointed...

Sunday - Chutku woke up at 6.45, had milk and went back to sleep and spoilt mine.So, I got up too and with new year resolution and all - did 20mins on that new gym machine and then while the Rava Idly cooked-switched on the radio for lovely songs and read my book for 20mins (PEACE!) and waited for the father-son to get up. Took the in-laws out to lunch and another Mall roaming - this time Meenakshi Mall came home and put Chutku to sleep for over an hour! He insisted that he wanted to sleep only on my lap and I sat there like that and read my novel :-D. By 9 I was completely out, had dinner and hit the bed - dont have a clue when the little fellow slept either! The last thing I know, he wasx asking his Dad - "Wath eech thich" pointing to the Dad's nose,eyes etc;

At work today and enjoying it - and thats the main thing I want to concentrate on this year - Learning the new things for the new shift in career, trying to find that work-life balance that seems so elusive, and trying to get a little more healthy in terms of stamina. Mom says being tired makes me more cranky - yes ME more cranky and apparently I need to beat that tired-ness by eating better,excercising and increaing my stamina levels to keep me going...So there - Not sure how much of the targets I can achieve - not that I even set a target - just trying to better myself over-all..but its still there - that dreaded word of Resolution!

Have a Blast 2012 - Ye'All...

Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards-2011

2011-12-28T14:12:00.000+05:30

Yippeee! Im on cloud-9, 7th heaven - call it whatever! One of my posts won the award for this post under the Senior Citizens category. And for a non-writer for me, who doesnt even blog everyday - this comes as high as an Oscar award for me! And am in awe of the others who won in this competition and hold them in high regard - their views on subjects have definitely broadened my horizons! I didnt even think when I sent my entry - that it would even get a mention but yippee! I WON! So what if its 1 measly post while my fave bloggers lke RM, Sangi have won many...

IHM is someone I've been reading since the time I started blogging but I never had the guts to go leave a comment. I alwasy felt that I was such a 'frog in the well' when there were so many things happening around me and I didnt even know about them. So, winning something at her place gives me a great high.

Check out the rest of the categories and the winners - winners of many posts too! (awesome posts and a lot of fodder for thinking):

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/feminism-by-indian-bloggers/

And its another pleasure since GVjee plans to even make an e-book of all the winning posts!

This is what IHM has commented:

Congratulations :) This post in one of the winners of 'Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards - 2011' (TRBA 2011). We would like to create an ebook with all the winning entries in 47 categories on Feminism and Gender Issues in India (and one category on Animals Rights). Please do let us know if you are fine with your winning post/s being included in this ebook. ( Please click here to let us know). on Nuclear families/Elder care and such matters

Books on my Wishlist

2011-12-28T11:02:00.001+05:30

After yesterday's post and reading SnS post on Reading, I thought maybe if I put my wish list here - I can both get reviews for these books as well as more books to add to my wish list. So, please suggest some more books or give me your feedback on the books as well.

Author - Jamila Gavin
3 Indian Godesses
3 Indian Princesses

The Good indian wife
The forbidden Daughter
Secret Daughter

Mein Kampf

Author - Indu Sudereshan
Shadow Princess
Twentieth Wife
Feast of Roses

My God is a woman

The food of love.
The Thirteenth Tale.

Chitra Diwakaruni Banerjee - Arranged Marriage.

These books are what I've read on other blogs or come highly recommended by friends. So , do add to this list for me...

The Long Happening Weekend...

2011-12-27T12:16:00.002+05:30

Ohk! So I think I should start this weekend all the way as early as Thursday with Chutku's Birthday party. Yeah, yeaa - there was a party and cake cutting in the office day care with 2 more girls who celebrated their birthdays a few days before his. So, there was this HUGE 5kg cake with Mickie,Minnie,Donald that the friends (moms of the other 2 girls) had ordered and the juice and hte balloons. All the arrangements were done by these 2 lovely ladies who spared me the effort of running around. At 3pm we met at the day care only to see that all the 3 Birthday babies were asleep peacefully. What do you know - they HAD to sleep only that day for so long na? So each mom woke up the child - I even woke him up with kisses and while the other 2 girls got up happily and got ready in new cothes this Lord and Master -unhappy with being woken up threw a tantrum to get into 1 T-shirt and suspenders! His caretaker asked me to leave and get things ready at the canteen where we were cutting the cake and she got him ready...

While everyone assembled at 3.15 at the canteen, our little monster decided he was unhappy and uncomfortable with the few people assembled and stuck to his Dad like glue - refused to cut the cake and was howling with tears and runny nose through out the ceremony. The 2 girls were grabbing the knife or eating directly from their hands the yummy cake while Hubby had to take the little fellow away and to soothe him. I tried feeding a bit of the cake and he just spit it right back into my hands! :-O The only thing he did have is a little bit of the juice that we had got to give to the team members of the other 2 mommies!!
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Friday - On Tuesday, amidst all the hecticness (if there is such a word) Hubby got a call from Shopper' Stop - to say that they were giving out Don 2 movie tickets at Forum for the Friday evening 6.45 show! :-D So, Wednesday night hubby picked up the tickets along with free passes for pepsi and popcorn (ofcourse-one (rather hubby) cant watch a movie without these 2 must-haves na). Friday evening saw us hurry home in the holiday traffic, drop chutku home and rush to the theatre. We must've missed the first 10mins or so of the movie, but then its nothing really great to rave about. Ofcourse, we are cheap that ways - why leave free movie tickets? Even if you didnt want to really watch the movie... After all that popcorn and pepsi we werent really hungry and went to transit to eat something light for dinner. It was already 9.30pm and while I was looking around to catch a place for us - I happened to see the kids' play area, went and sat there. Cant get the 'Mommy' out of me now, can I? We watched the little kids playing cars and slides and were thinking maybe we should take the little fellow there sometime...

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Saturday - First day of the 3 day long weekend. Friends from US were here in Blore and were flying out that night - so we started early (9am) ,dropped mom to her office and drove all the way across the city to Vijayanagar to meet them. Their 3.5yrs old is sooo adorable. He doesnt like to hug,kiss girls or even talk to them itseems :-O So I had fun teasing him. Because he was older, he kept giving Chutku instructions like how he gets it - dont climb the stairs, dont touch the remote - small kids should not touch the camera - with wide eyes and finger waving - it was sooo adorable to watch that :-D Im waiting for those pics that were clicked now...
We spent more time there than planned and on the way thankfully Chutku dozed off in the car. That gave me enough time to pick up my new clothes frm the tailor (planning to wear new clothes the whole next week :-)) and then went to do more shopping :-D
For the first time I had decided that I will not be taking any food from home for the little fellow-we will make him eat idly where ever we eat lunch. So, we went to a good restaurant and while the waiter got idly for the little fellow - he insisted that he wanted to eat it himself in spoon 'chuttu thinthi,poon thinthi' *eye rolling*. I somehow managed to shove 1 idly inside while he dirtied the whole table and also managed to put some food inside ourselves too... The little fellow liked the lemon juice so much -especially drinking with straw that he had quite a bit and I let him be despite the runny nose...
After lunch we went curtain shopping -now that the house cleaning spree is done,we decided to buy new curtains to the living and dining rooms and we went shopping for that. Spent an hour at a local shop and did huge shopping for 9 curtains for 8K (Sangi - this one's for you-need to know if Srirampuram is cheaper than this). I was so happy that I got what I want that I convinced hubby to take us to Corner House for ice cream. Also, thought that Chutku can have some Milk Shake there to compensate for the lack of lunch. He had a little bit of hubby's litchie milk shake and while I took Apple Cake for his sake he didnt even smell it :-( So I HAD to eat it-whether I liked it or not *Sigh* all the sacrifices for the child....
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Sunday - I had planned and taken appointment at Lakme and after yummy brkfast that mom made I just rushed for a morning all for myself. Unfortunately my face is dried up so much that even the fruit massage has dried it up further and Im struggling now. Hubby's laughing at me saying I looked ok before the parlor visit! :-(
Afternoon as planned (kinda a date with just hubby and me!) we went to Blossoms bookhouse thinking I will buy my list of Indu sundereshan and Chitra Diwakaruni but unfrotunately most Indian author books were out of stock :-( Anyway -I still wanted to buy some bedtime story books for Chuktu (He's ben asking for thathe (Kathe/Story) every night and since the stupid me has forgotten all those granma stories I bought some animal story book and aesop,panchatantra story books for him. Hubby picked up his David Baldacci's (He's gotten into this author mode and wants to collect all his books!) and Perry Masons while I picked up the usual Jodi Picoult,Nicholas Sparks and only 1 book - the Immortals of Meluha... that I really wanted and was in my list...
From there we went to Garuda Mall to check out for some place for dinner and sinc eHubby didnt want to eat the 'same old North Indian' we decided to eat Sizzlers at Kobe' Sizzlers. We reached the place at 6.45 and hubby got a brain wave that he wanted to see MI4 if we got the tickets. Lucky for him there was 1 show beginning at 6.50! and there were the last 2 tickets available - call that dumb luck! So, we first went to the movie(which is by far better than Don-2) and at 9.30pm went to Kobe. Thankfully it wasnt that crowded so we soon got a place to sit and we ordered yummy veg sizzler and even yummier sizzling chocolate brownie *sluurrrppp* we even went a step further with a glass of wine each! Talk to making the most out of the opportunity!

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Monday - was also a holiday for us. Yippeee! So, another thing to check off my to-do list - Chutku's haircut. Which was a nightmare. He cried and twisted and turned and howled and called out to his Ajji who had accompanied - all the while I was holding him tight in my arms. "Amma,please huggie, please onana (lets go), beda amma plz beda (no amma plz no),bhaya amma (scared)" he went on and on for the 5 mins of sheer torture for me. Poor fellow.Sigh! But cant be helped. His grandparents also bought him a tricycle for his birthday and we also did the weekly/monthly shopping - all accomplished before noon.Came home, had lunch and while Chutku slept I kept everything ready for the week. Got a call from Co-sis saying her family would be visiting us - made strawberry milkshake before they got home - which except for the little fellow (chenna illa - not nice!) everyone drank with relish... By the time they left - my brother and SIL came (who are going to stay with us this whole week) and the day ended with me going up to sleep and kathe for the little one while they all sat chatting :-( *sigh* again, the sacrifices one has to make for the child...

Whew! There ends my weekend updates :-D RM - I think I beat you with such a long post this time :-P

Friday Fun - The Dad's Birthday letter to the son

2011-12-23T10:32:00.000+05:30

Dearest Son,

It seems a little surreal to me that as I write this letter to you, a year has already passed since your first birthday and a year since I wrote a letter to you for the first time. The past 12 months have just been a blur and I wonder sometimes at what travels faster---time or the rate at which you are growing.

When I started penning this letter, I did not know where to start from so let me start by first telling you that I am your biggest fan. For all the talk of how challenging you can be, how mischievous, how demanding, I want to take this opportunity on your second birthday to tell you that you are absolutely perfect. Exactly as you are. Let there be no doubt about it, son.

Its fascinating to observe the different facets of your personality so clearly visible right now. You are wild, tempestuous, and mischievous. You are intent, self-sufficient, determined. You know just what you want out of each and every moment of life, and you nearly always seem to get it. I am in awe of you, sonny boy. You are goofy, independent, curious, loving, dramatic, intelligent. All the joy in our home stems from you son. You are our greatest joy, our proudest accomplishment to date. Your mother is constantly amazed by you and completely enamored.

I just love the way you keep calling Amma Amma for everything. Amma….see this, Amma….see that. It literally is a chant which turns into a yell if she does not respond. And Amma being the wonderful soul she is, always responds…almost always. There are obviously a lot of life lessons I intend to teach you but the first and foremost thing is respect for your mother being one of most important ones. I can’t even begin to explain the sacrifices she has made for you, both before and after you were born.

I love the way you are going about discovering this world through your eyes and that is something I will never stop you from. Discover the world, dream….dream big because only if you dream big will you be able to experience life to the fullest. We might not be able to achieve everything we dream about but atleast we can attempt to make it a reality. As your father I hope to resist the temptation of dreaming for you because that isn’t fair to you. This is your life and I want you to live it for youself, be the man you are destined to become by following the passions that drive you. And though you may not have the same dreams as me, I do hope that you can learn from the mistakes I have made.

There are so many things I want to pen down that if I do so, this letter might just go on and on. Let me conclude by saying that I was fortunate to experience rebirth in my life, with your birth. The past two years have easily been the most exciting and rewarding of my life and I have you to thank for it.

And so it is with this renewed happiness that I wish you a happy second birthday little man. Your mother and I love you even more than we ever could have thought possible. I hope that your mother and I always make it known to you that you are the most precious thing we have. I hope that you always know how much we want for you and that we will go to the ends of the earth to provide for you. You are basically one heart pumping away in two souls. Love you Son.

Happy Birth(Cake) GunDaNNa.

Chutku-On your Second Birthday...

2011-12-22T10:30:00.000+05:30

Chutku - was what I named you - when you were still inside. Because at every checkup the doc said - 'Its a small baby' when I didnt even know if you would be a boy or girl. And you were just 2.29kgs when you were born. No, I can never forget what everyone said "God, he has no fat in his body, its such a tiny child". And then I vowed - nobody,just nobody is going to say anything negative about my Baby-EVER! Not when I can help it. Then began my struggle of getting you to optimum weight which still continues. But little did I realise that it was not just weight that I had to worry about. At every step there are comparisions - on our parenting or on you - your food,your sleep, your talk, your play, your eating habits - just about everything from everyone around us. Now, after 2 years, sweetheart - I care a lot less about what others have to say. What keeps me going is seeing what makes you happy and doing just that...

I know, my Love, you are a very bright child. A generally happy baby. And there - is another worry, worry that AM I a fit enough parent for you or not. If I can give you the exposure and atmosphere for you to bloom - to be your best. Whatever we're doing, is it enough? Are we giving you the best opportunities, are we feeding you the best food, are we giving you the best exposure? One thing for sure little one, there is no dearth for love from us-your parents. That I can promise you. No matter how much or how many times we stumble in this path of parenthood - the only thing that will keep us from completely falling and failing is 'You'. You are more than a responsibility, more than just our child. How can I explain that feeling? You are the centre of our lives now.

This birthday sweetheart, will bring in many more changes to your life. You will no longer be called a 'Baby' (No matter how much we want you to continue, to be a baby to us!) You are now a 'toddler'. Whatever that means,Im not sure, but yes, we see a lot of changes in you - you've learnt a lot, you no longer want us for everything all the time, there are times you want to be left alone to play, sometimes you want us as your playthings, you have your own ideas and wants that you are slowly learning to express...The challenge is not in you doing all this-the challenge is for us to keep up with you! Another year of growing up has happened - and how much! in the last one year, you learnt to walk, talk, imitate,tease,run around,turn the house upside down. And the fun has just begun!

This year in terms of preparing to go to school - to potty train, to eat your own food,to maybe wear your own clothes! My God! These thoughts make me wonder - What else am I needed for then?! And then, I see you running to me with all the joy of seeing me and I completely loose all thoughts! Such high expectations of love and undoubted trust from you.

On your birthday - along with praying for your good health and happiness, Im praying that we grow up too - as a parent - to mature, to have more patience, to be able to understand and be the bestest parent your Dad and I can be to you. Bear with us while we grow up with you!

Happy Happy 2nd Birthday Chutku. May you always be healthy, be happy,give joy to others...

Love you loads,
Your Thampi Amma.

Different Day yesterday-'Hatke' from Routine

2011-12-21T15:06:00.003+05:30

Want to log this in for posterity.

The last weekend, Hubby had been to Mangalore with his school friends to attend a wedding. And he broke his right thumb at the beach! *rolls eyes* And so, over the past couple of days we have been visiting orthopedic doctors near the office to see if a hard plaster of paris bandage is required or just a removable split is sufficient. Well, we were told that it would cost a bomb! 40K nearly to get a small surgery for that finger which shocked us. So, we decided to taka a second opinion...

For that second opinion we had to go to what we call the south center of the city where most of the family stays. We started early from office, reached home by 5.30 (which we couldnt believe!) dropped Chuktu there with parents and rushed to the hospital - guess what - Hatke 1: we went on the 2 wheeler :-) Hatke 2: I drove the 2 wheeler with Hubby as pillion rider. Wow! I was driving after so many years that it was like I had wings!! :-D And I was feeling all nice that *I* could be of some help to the hubby. Ofcourse, all the time also grumbing that if only he had let me practice enough of the car driving we could've gone by car itself...

Thankfully, the doctor there said that the temporary split is sufficient and he can even drive as long as he doesnt strain the finger too much! Ah! Thank God for small Mercies... Anyway, since that consultation got over soon and we didnt have Chutku with us, we decided to freak out :-) Hubby's cousin and wife just returned from UK after 1.5 yrs yesterday and she is carrying too - so I had this urge to meet her... So, we called them and went to meet them at their place which was quite close by. So, Hatke 3: Yes, she is hubby's cousin's wife but then she's more my friend. All of this generation DILs and daughters of the family have our own yahoo group where we 'talk' regularly - so we are all more friends than SILs and co-sisters...
We stayed at their place for about 20mins and then started from there giving them a reason that we needed to rush home. As we walked out Hubby realised that his goggles were at another cousin's place who lived about 5mins away from where we were. So, Hatke 4: We went to the second house too... What's hatke?- After Chuktu, we are so tuned to just going to 1 destination that we had forgotten what it was to visit so many houses! This is the house of cousins with whom we had gone on the heritage trip.Needless to say that Im close to that co-sis also... So, they gave us some yummy Thalipeet to eat and then we decided enough is enough, it was already 8pm and we should hurry home now...

Aha! Hatke 5: We decided to visit another one of his uncles whose house falls on the way! In all, we visited all my FILs sister and brother's house except 1 and the reason being that we will be meeting at their place this time for the new year's! So, at 8.30 we parked in front of his Chikkappa's house, made them open the gate and door locks which they had just then closed (Who wil visit us on a weekday at 8.30?) ate yummy plum cake at their home and then by the time we reached home it was 9.30pm :-)

In-between, I called Dad and he asked if we didnt have to come to work today :-D we were roaming around like it was weekend!

Finally Hatke 6: Chutku asked about a 100times where we were, then himself said "Appa Abbu, Kallu mele tum" (Appa hurt, fell on stone) consoled himself and went to sleep peacefully next to Thatha without a whimper :-D Bestest Hatke!!!

At the end of the day - I was still so full of energy thanks to the break in the monotony, that I changed bedsheets at 10.30 in the night - just because...

Friday Fun - The last of the series

2011-12-15T12:46:00.003+05:30

Some more Car tales:

He has now figured out which is the AC button.So, the other day morning he says-Appa, thumba thun appa, AC on maadu!! And Hubby just acts like he pressed the AC button and what do we know-Appa, AC on maadu (in a higher pitch) and though hubby says he has done it the little fellow is not convinced. He bends as much as he can, puts his hand near the AC vent(yeah! I taught him that) and checks for the cool air and then checks for the green AC light on the dash board-Appa, AC illa, On Maadu. This time around there was no fooling him. We HAD to switch the AC on! :-O
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I was trying to put his topi on his head-imagine,Im sitting in the back seat and he is sitting strapped in the front seat and by mistake he turned and my finger poked his eye. I felt bad enough, said sorry,wiped the tears and *then* began the drama - "Appa, Amma Abbu,Appa, Chuttuuu aLu (cry),Atti maadu( hit her!)" He made it pretty clear to his Dad that I hurt him and made him cry so he should scold me. He sulked for quite a few mins when his Dad refused to hit/scold me and instead said "Paapa Amma,she didnt do it on purpose, see even she is crying" !!!
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He has always been picking up on the vehicles on the road (Ofcourse because he IS on the road for nearly 3hrs everyday!) and can recognise all the vehicles. Now even the bus has sub categories-Volvo bus, red bus, mini bus and then bari bus (just) bus. What is bari bus? - A bus that is not volvo,mini or school bus
:-D And why is that-because when he was pointing to the regular BMTC buses and calling them volvo-we told him that its not a volvo but its a regular/normal bus-hence bari bus. :-D Now how can we correct that logic?
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We listen to radio in the car- and he tries to pick up the words and hum along. Usually the catch words like 'Ole,Ole' and 'Chammak Challo'. Even the advertisements. He goes "Radiooo unnnn" :-) And he also does little jigs with it - ask him to bummy shake and he shakes his diapered bum and he now moves his head up and down to kolaveri! :-O (Yeah! I know, but since he doesnt understand it,Im still ok with him listening to it one-off times)

The other day, hubby hadnt heard the kolaveri song and since we were stuck in a traffic jam, he decided to download it onto his phone and we heard it in the car. After that the little fellow wanted to listen to it once more and so kept trying to get the phone kept in hubby's pocket. So, hubby changed the song and while I distracted the little fellow-he kept the phone on the dashboard behind the steering wheel. The next time Chutku put his hand inside the pocket and didnt find it hubby said "Kaaka ussshhhh" (the crow took it) and the little fellow immediately says "Kaaka usshh illa, pone alli,song alli" and points to the phone :-P The hubby now realises that its not at all easy to fool the little bugger :-D
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OK, with this I think I will end the friday fun-Chutku series. I started this initially thinking that these days there are so many things he is learning and doing that I will document them and then without realising it went on for upto 2 months! With his Bday coming up next week-I think this was a nice round up to that :-) Lets see if I can come up with a Bday post for him next week and end this here... For all of you (special mention to Seema-who mailed me asking for the friday fun post:-) ) Thanks a lot! for enjoying my son's antics as much as me and along with me! :-D

The Chaotic Weekend...

2011-12-12T12:43:00.001+05:30

This was one hectic weekend where I had no control over what was happening though as an after thought it was a very productive and enjoyable one!

I've been having a bout of real bad cold and congestion over the past couple of weeks which shows no signs of going. So, I've been sleeping with 2 pillows propped up to make breathing a little easy. And to top that one I had scheduled a long pending (since June!) FULL house cleaning spree because the husband promised to stay home and help me out. So, come saturday Im keeping a hanky to my nose, wheezing and running beind 3 men in different corners of the house and co-ordinating the cleaning - balcony,terrace,windows, rooms and attic whew! Thankfully, I had MIL,Dad and Hubby at home to take turns taking care of Chutku.

In all this drama I get calls on calls from my school friends who had decided that THAT saturday was the best muhurat for us to meet as one of them has come from US for a holiday. So they kept calling me since friday night asking me to join the for a long lunch which i refused. Then finally Hubby said "Go, meet them,I will handle the rest of the afternoon" It was literally a bout of fresh air! I immediately called them up, told them I cant join them for lunch but wil join them later, had bath and lunch and was planning to leave with a friend who was supposed to pick me up from the main road. Ah! But how could I forget the little guy-he clued in on my excitement (I think) and got cranky. Spilt rice on the floor which I cleaned up, didnt want Dad to put him to sleep-and was on my lap throwing a tantrum when my friend called to say that she is already almost at the pickup point! I patted with renewed vigor to put him to sleep, got ready and was out of the house in 10mins flat!

And boy! Was I glad! We 6 girls met at Wellington court on Brigade road (I hadnt been to MG/Bridage road in years) and made a hell of a lot of noise :-) Talked,dreamed,discussed life and in general had a great time.( psst-something exciting brewing and im keeping my fingers crossed that it will work out, so Im not going to jinx it by saying it out loud :-D) We were there until 6 and then I got to see the total lunar eclipse on the way back home.

Sunday- The kitchen cleaning-all drawers removed,cleaned,papered took about a couple of hours in the morning and left over windows cleaning and sump cleaning. Between hubby and me I think we managed pretty decently though we kept passing Chutku to one another saying we'd rather handle all the other work than handle him!! Thankfully he prefered Dad more yesterday (yippeee!) By the time the workers left at 4, I was still in the kitchen cleaning the stove and the counter and keeping the vessels back in place. My in-laws and parents returned from their respective functions-all tired. So while Hubby went to drop the in-laws back home I put my feet up for a few minutes and rested the aching legs and back. Then my parents had another reception to attend (God! These parents na - they attend EVERY function they get invited to, I sometimes am in awe of them and sometimes get irritated because they are already so tired, yet they want to go-are all parents like this?) they were very tired from the morning outing, asked us to join them for the reception which I refused. Then hubby comes to the kitchen and says "Lets go na, they look so tired, somedays it suddenly hits me that our parents are not young anymore-look at both sets today, lets take your parents to that reception..." Yeah, yeaa I know, he is more sensitive and 'giving' than I am most days :-( So we get ready in a hurry, feed chutku and rush out of the house at 7.30. And surprise!! At the wedding (where we hardly knew a couple of people) while I was walking to get the plate for food a lady stops me and asks - Hey! Arent you RP? You studied in so-and-so school?" Im like-yeahhh...but Im sorry,Im not able to place you.She immediately says "Hey! Im V, I studied with you until 7th std" Then I recognised her, we spoke about where she is,where her sister is and what each one is doing, etc; And then she asks for a contact number-I've forgotten my mobile at home and just give her my e-mail ID and we part ways. I was so shocked to know that I havent changed much since school!! She told me so, I couldnt resist asking her how she recognised me.. Told mom also and she was also pleasantly surprised...Now I just hope she mails me and gets back in touch- another link to school...

Finally Chutku - Man! He embarassed us at the wedding BIG time. Went and stood in front of every person who was eating, stood watching them eat and kept asking "what is this"!! I kept asking him to say Namaste and then prying him from there!! :-O Dad and Mom were cool about it saying that all kids do that but every person in front of whom he stood was giving me weirs stares. I do feed him people :-( still this nautanki!!

Friday Fun: Surprise Mamma - Im growing up!

2011-12-09T07:51:00.001+05:30

Im surprised and amazed at his level of understanding concepts and how he applies it at the right moment:

The minute he sees a green signal he starts "Amma, oonnanna (hogona-lets go) amma,thun cheep, geen iight, amma, chanda maama, iLLiii (get down) " I keep telling him that until the sun sleeps, chanda maama comes and we get the green signal we cant get down, cant go home - so the minute he notices that its become dark,sees the moon or the green light he asks me to get down from the bus!

And he can figure out which of the cross roads is ours - he waits until all the other cross roads are done and the screams 'illi,illi' (here, here) and then screams 'mannneeeee' (home) even before we stop in front of the house.

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How he knows his different names:

Im taking this from Comfy's post on names. I realised that I havent actually put all the names we call him. Now he knows who calls him what and when asked -

Pacchu thatha (My Dad): Thai th... (his name)

Ammamma: "Banguuu" Short form for Bangara (meaning Gold in kannada)

R Thatha (FIL): Tinku Paapa

Ajji: Calls him all God names: Krishna,Ganesha,Subrahmani...

Appa: GundaNNaaa

Amma: Chutttuuuu (Chutku ofcourse, though I call him a hundred other names like Chinna,Raja or sometimes nautanki, little monster - and he reacts to all of them with a hmmm?)

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Context: When he asks for something that we are eating and its spicy/hot and I cannot give it to him - I tell him 'Bisi' (hot) or 'Khaara' (spicy) and tell him that he cannot eat it.

One evening,last week, after my parents returned from a wedding they had got puri unde-a laddoo made of puffed rice. I love it and wanting to see if Chutku will like it too - I gave a little to him. He loved it. Came back and asked me for more. I was so happy that I gave him the entire big laddoo and he ran away happily. A few minutes later after he had nibbled enough on that and lost interest,I asked him to give what was remaining back to me-His reaction "Beda Amma,khaara,Chuttu Thinthi" (No Amma,its spicy, Chutku eat) And my parents were laughing their head off while I was trying to put my dropped jaw back in place! How the little fellow made sense of the whole thing and how my own words came right back at me!

Oh! And he very well knows that all the used tumblers and plates to into the kitchen sink. So he keeps waiting for everyone to finish their coffee and comes and asks "aaitha" (Finished?) then takes the tumblers,runs to the kitchen sink and drops it so loud that it echoes around the house. Unfortunately if he gets the urge to put something in the sink and he doesnt get anything - he opens the drawer,icks up an cleaned and wiped vessel he can get his hands on and thump,thadak it goes into the kitchen sink :-( - we will be forced to rinse/wash that all over again.

Hubby has thus named him "weapon of mass destruction"!
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And oh! I spent a couple of days effort in teaching him sunday,monday and he now tells all the 7 days and by the time it comes to 'thathaday' his eyes are searching for me for approval and smile :-D - And when hubby mentioned to a friend that Chutku can now tell A-Z,1-10,most english rhymes,days of the week the friend I believe said that his 3yr old daughter is now learning all this. And I was thinking of slowly introducing Shapes to him since he seems to be learning quite fast and interested too. its not that I make him sit with me and teach him-its just while playing that i show him something new and teach him something generally in the car/bus...

But now I wonder - Am I over doing it? Should I just let it be?

(Chutku says: Pic taken at a cousin's birthday party while I was busy collecting the colorful thermocol balls)

Another weekend post-before the new weekend!

2011-12-08T10:25:00.001+05:30

Ah! I finally have a new laptop and the config to be able to blog from work and thats the most happiest thing for me.

So, let me complete the post on weekend and the most important first blogger meet I attended. All thanks to Seema who first called me on Saturday morning and asked if I would be free for a get-together at her house on sunday afternoon. At that time I had nothing better to do and I was soo excited to meet other bloggers and the twins I just jumped at the chance and agreed. Even rushed to hubby and told him that he would have to chaffeur me and Chutku to Seema's house - he asked "Where does she stay" and in all my excitement I hadnt bothered to ask her that! Duh! I just told him that she stays near the office and he just nodded his head and rushed to work...

Too many things came up between sat morning and sunday morning and so sunday morning we rushed to a wedding breakfast across the city to Rajajinagar. Had brkfast and came home to expect the agent with whom we had to discuss the retirement plan and education plan for chutku (Yeah, I know we are quite late with this :-( ) All through the conversation with that man Chutku decided to be cranky and wanted to be rocked on my lap-so from 11.30 to 1pm I've kept him on my lap and rocked him while I Was busy discussing stuff like "What if I die?"

With my MIL calling us to join them for lunch aong with a few more of hubby's cousins we rushed to my in-laws place at 2, had lunch there and then I called Seema to ask for directions to her house. And *then* came the surprise - They stay no where close to the office! And thinking that they did we had even agreed to drop Hubby's cousins to their home near the office.So off we went all the way to Seemas house. In all this I had wanted to buy some girly stuff to Man/Tam which never happend (Che! I lost a chance :-( ) on the way we just picked up some fruits for the girls and thankfully hubby had an idea of where their house is. So, we went close to their home,called Seema up and reached their house a full 1 hour later than scheduled at 5pm :-(

As our car reached their apartment I saw 2 ladies - 1 was Seema and the other was Garima I later realised and the 2 small heads-I began to show Chutku Mannu/Tammu. By the time we parked and went inside Chutku had asked a 100times Mannu/Tammu yelli :-D And I was more excited than him to mind his questions :-)

We were welcomed with small screams from Mannu/Tammu and introductions were made - I realise now-Nobody introduced me to SS and Garima actually - I just sat down and guessed who is who. In all this commotion, Mannu got her books and began to teach me animals and birds and Chutku was so busy that he didnt even notice Mannu sitting on my lap. Seema rushed to the kitchen to complete the cutlets which sadly didnt come out to her liking and though I was tempted to tell her to give it as it was - I thought that would be too much of forthrightness!! So, she started doing papads,gave biscuits, brownie (yummmmm) and she told the story of the oven and was regretting it wasnt as she expected. The brownie was so so yummm I cant imagine how much more nice it would've been if it was as per her expectation! And Chutku all the while who was playing with a car - began to take all the plates from the kitchen counter - filled with papads and biscuits! My God! My heart was in my mouth all the while he was doing some mischief. He was so busy that he didnt notice at onepoint in time both Mannu and Tammu had sat on hubby's lap each one teaching him somethiing - I wish Abbas has taken a pic of that :-D He was even busy playing with their thythal (cycle) and wearing their cool goggles and we all had some fun at him :-) We had some tea and during all this eating, no no call that stuffing our faces with the yummy stuff we forgot to talk! We just stood in the kitchen and spoke random stuff and soon Garima was dying to go home to her hubby "We only get the weekend na..." :-P As we got ready to leave - Chutku was the most reluctant to leave-he was having so much fun with mommy being in her own world and no one to say "dont do this,dont touch that" that we had to literally pry him from the cycle and get him into his Dad's arms. Mannu/Tammu showed their Bullu and they also got ready to leave. Oh! In all these eating-I forgot that Seema also packed some Dahi vada and brownie for us to take home. Like they say in Kannada "Undu hoda, kondu hoda" - "He ate and he also took". After Garima got down from the car near the bus stand Chutku kept asking 'Aunty yelli?' and he was so not convinced that SS was still in the car with us. SS and we had some more interestng conversation on wastage until we droppd her close to her home and only then did Chutku relaxed and slept in the car! Thank God for small mercies. We went home and ate the Brownie and Dahi Vada for dinner and thought what a lovely day for eating it had been :-D

Garima - What to tell? Man! she is so thin and she had the josh to travel so far-the only thing was she was already missing her hubby and wanted to rush back home :-D And she has been kind enough to invite us to her home next...

SS - Like everyone else-I am awed by her big beautiful eyes. I even told her to put a profile pic of her eyes on the blog. They are so expresive,soft and they speak!

Seema - I know how good a cook she is and what a nice person she is-that I didnt hesitate to just talk non-stop with her from the moment I entered her home until we left! Thanks a lot for this first ice-breaker Seema! Seing Mannu-Tammu was like they sa "Mann to thandak mil gayi" - Ah! The girls are cuter than before and so much fun, so much energy! Its lovely to just be with them and not have to be distracted with other conversations - sadly that didnt happen with the limited time we had :-( And Thanks to Abbas too! For making Hubby comfortable and God knows what the men spoke!

What I didnt like about the meet-Lack of time :-( Serious lack of time coz we hardly spoke much. Especially since we were late I didnt get much time to spend with anyone and we just rushed through the conversation and eating. So next time around,we should plan to spend the whole day together. What say SS,Garima and Seema?

Can friendships be controlled? - My sin story

2011-12-06T07:12:00.001+05:30

"Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are".

RM wrote this post on friendships and does one need to keep tab on whom their children make friends with.

Did our parents really do it? I think yes - My parents did,rather mom did upto an extent. All along they have always encouraged us to tell them about school/college and our friends.There was obviously no 'control' ever,but she did know who my friends were and where I was going with them - those kind of tabs.And both bro and me had no problems ever bringing friends home -gender not being an issue, talking about them with the parents for most part. Infact a huge gang of 12 used to come home on the pretext of combined studies during every study holidays and mom/granny ensured that there used to be food for everyone...

Dad and Mom used to very often quote lives of other people who spoilt their life by being in bad company and that I think was a very subtle way of showing us the good and the bad. One instance I can recall very clearly is in first year degree. Mom wasnt very fond of 1 of my friends for various reasons. She didnt like me going out with her as she thought she is a bad influence on me. At that point in time, I rebelled.I went to a movie with her once and a few other friends and didnt tell mom about it. Unfortunately my parents saw my other set of friends at the local complex and I was not with them and she figured out (I think Mom instinct?) that I had lied to her and gone with the other friend. The minute I came home she was in a rage. Red rage I must admit. She was not angry that I went to a movie-she was more angry because I lied. And I screamed right back at her and questioned her if she didnt trust her upbringing - that was when she said that I had broked her trust which was all about upbringing - I would've told her the truth and she felt betrayed by her upbringing. After she calmed down she told me that after a certain age once we enter college we spend more time with friends than at home with parents and often the parents viewpoints get questioned. Its upon the parents to really think and draw that thin line of being lenient and let the child be and impose some rules on them. And so here's where friends do play an important part in shaping up our final personalities.

There is no definition for a bad friendship. But there is a definition for influential friendship. And kids are definitely more influenced by their peers and their views and often the parents views are considered out-dated. That is when problems can arise if parents are not aware of the children's friendships.

Finally, I think today what my mom did that evening was right - she showed me how a bad influence can shake the very belief that you have grown up with. You cannot control the child's friendships but you can definitely be aware of his/her friends and keep a check so that incase there arises a need you will know what to do and how to takle the problem.

Friday Fun - Sleep tales and No touching rule

2011-12-02T21:29:00.001+05:30

Sleep patterns: Earlier before my parents shifted, he would have his dinner and then lie down on the mattress in the living room and roll around,eventually going to sleep. The only criteria was that I need to be sitting there while he fell asleep which would take anywhere between 1/2 hr to 45 mins. These days with my parents around he gets distracted by any movement and refuses to sleep. So, the minute His Highness puts his head to the mattress there is generally no movement or stealthy movements around! No mixie, no cooker-no noise basically! Sometimes even that doesnt work and these days I take him up to the room to sleep. Now, His Highness cannot just go to sleep without making his slaves work for him-can he? So AFTER we go up his demands start-for water(Sippy nee), milk (haalu), Auto - sometimes some rubbish that doesnt even make sense. Most days I just distract him or refuse to react. But when he asks for water (which by the way he does only on days that I've forgotten to take  up with me) I usually call my Dad or Hubby on their mobiles (Yes, from upstairs to downstairs) and ask them to supply it-coz if I get up then the little monster will follow right behind!! - Imagine that!!

Ah! And he has this habit of sleep talking too-he rolls around saying "Thatha theethampatheetha pumpin theetha, humpthy thumpthy" and the first couple of times he did this both hubby and me woke up with a jolt stayed awake for a few minutes, realized he was sleep talking and with an audible sigh of relief went back to sleep. The other night even as we were sleeping, he sat up said "Amma,volvo busssuuu, amma,red bussuuu" and I said "hmmm Volvo bussu thaachi (sleep)" and he just hit the bed back again - Im still not sure if he heard me or just that his sleep episode got over and he went back to sleep!

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1 for the stolen moment:
Middle of the night, with eyes closed he calls out to me "Amma,amma" and as soon as I respond in sleep he crawls/rolls towards my voice and settles down in the crook of my arm/on my stomach - touching me as if to get my body warmth. At those times (only) he sighs if I turn towards him and spoon him into my body and immediately I can feel that he's back to deep sleep. I stay awake a few moments longer just to feel that moment :-) 
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The "No Touching rule":

I love his possessiveness. He just cant stand anyone touching me. A couple of weeks back my brother had come and he had his hand over my shoulder sitting on the sofa - this little fellow comes and pushes his hand away and tells me "Huggiieeee" and gives me a hug.

I so love to watch this that sometimes I go, hold hubby's hand or hug and then we both call him if he is not looking - he comes running and says "Yettha,peech yettha,huggiee" And then we lift him up for the group hug :-)


In the car,Hubby was teaching something silly to Chutku(I dont even remember what it was now) and I hit his shoulder to stop it. Unfortunately the little fellow saw it and began hitting Hubby just like I did. To stop him from hitting I touched Hubby's shoulder and told Chutku "Paapa Appa, abbu - no hitting" the next second the hitting was all turned towards me! He pushed my hand away and began to hit me saying "No touching! Appa driving amma, no touching!" -My own words coming right back at me in a matter of minutes. How soon they grasp...

*Pic taken by my friend today just before we got onto the bus :-) *

Why the hate on Why this kolaveri?

2011-12-01T21:15:00.001+05:30

I actually liked the song and it has grown on me. Im seen mildly head banging at work with the 'papapapaan papapapaan papapapaapapapaan' running in my head! I actually first saw it on youtube after reading Sangi's post. And then the beats got to me. The lyris are so stupid that it easily got into my head without any effort! AND most of all I loved the way Dhanush himself has sung this song and the enthu rubbed off too - see that part where he says 'reverse gear'? :-) I kind of liked all that. To add to that bro called all the way from Singapore and asked Dad to check out this song because its the latest doing the rounds and hubby even showed the song to Dad!!

I totally agree with everyone who has criticised it for the (non)music it has and the irrelavent lyrics - but that IS the USP of the song! and Im sure that this craze will also die down the minute the publicity its getting dies down too... And isnt this the trend these days? Of meaningless lyrics and just beats? Why, even in kannada we have "system ye sari illa chombeshwara, Prime Minister aagbidla onde sala?" (system is only not all right, so shall i just become the prime minister once for all) and there is this "Kathleli karadige yaavatthu jaamoon thinisokke hogbaardu ree" (dont try to feed a bear jamoon in the darkness - WTH??) - so why are we even thinking of lyrics here? - its just catchy and it will last a few days with everyone humming it and laughing about it and then its gone...

Ofcourse these songs and movies cannot be compared to the erstwhile cinema and the soulful songs in any language.And I will not even get into the 60's, 70's or even before that music - that will need a post of its own and I dont even have the right words to put my thoughts and feelings on that.

Even while we were growing up we had lovely romantic songs and we also had the one off 'item' song with cheezy lyrics and gyrating dance moves- remember the 'tu cheez badi hai mast mast'? or all those Karishma Kapoor and Govinda movies - I remember especially one song - 'se*y se*y se*y mujhe log bole" and there was a huge hue and cry on those lyrics and then Alisha Chinoy re-sang that song with the lyrics changed to "baby baby baby..." Im sure nobody remembers these songs now...(I thought a lot to recollect these songs all through the day today, just to post it here!!) So... live it,enjoy it if you can, while it lasts and then forget about it...

I really dont get the whole idea of opposing a song that actually doesn't have crappy double meaning lyrics or even for that matter dance moves. How many such songs do we get to see these days - Tell me what you think about Kareena kapoor's costume and the moves in Chammak Challo? If that is acceptable then why not Kolaveri?

Friday Fun - More Travel tales

2011-11-25T20:44:00.001+05:30

Car Tales:

when we travel in the car he sits in he front seat strapped to his car seat. And everyday at a particular signal where we take a U-Turn the sun hits directly into the car at 7.30am. So, most days he says - Amma,Thumba Thun amma (Lot of Sun) and I generally remove the seat belt and take him back. This last friday was gloomy day and drizzling but the minute we came to the junction he said "Amma,Thumba thun amma" And we burst into laughter - It was only then I realised that he was using this as a tactic to get out of the car seat and come back so he can move around more freely!! How he has learnt to fool Amma now itself! I wonder how much of a bigger topi he will put going forward! :-O

One more on the drame baazi - a minute after Dad softly hit him on the leg because he was trying to push the gear with his leg-sitting strapped to the car seat! He squeezed his eyes tight shut and got tears, then began to cry -and we were watching the whole process and laughing :-) - yeah, we love to watch him do his nautanki and then he went and hugged his Dad with quivering lips and all and the Dad melted-stopped the car and gave him a huggie and all was well in the front seat again!
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Bus tales:

Needing audience - Now I've already mentioned about his theetha aunty. If she doesnt come in the bus and someone else sits next to us, this fellow needs to make that person talk to him. He calls out to the person and talks some non-sense and the person looks at my face to understand what he is telling and then I need to translate - whew! Pretty embarrassing sometimes especially when he needs to audience even when he is trying to bite my cheek or putting his little finger into my mouth or nose!!

1 for the Embarrass Mamma series: His vocabulary has improved enough to make proper sense now - He pooped in the diaper on the way back home "Amma, Diapy, illi, kakka!! " Screams in the bus and everyone turns to look at me with raised eye-brows. No choice but to just give a sheepish smile :-(
That picture: busy telling me some story while rushing to the bus one evening and refusing to hold my hand :-)

Weekend Updates -on a midweek...

2011-11-23T09:45:00.000+05:30

After readins RM's weekend post I thought I had quite an eventful weekend too. Especially RM eating the Sev Puri part :-)

Saturday was a lazy day until afternoon. Post lunch we were supposed to go out,leaving the little fellow with my mom. But then Cousin C came and we sat chatting until about 6pm. Its nice to have unexpected guests dropping in these days because of the parents. So, we had no mood to go out but certain things just HAD to be done. Now, I have this mental block about tailors and certain shops. I need to go to Gandhi Bazaar (My Dad says its something like 'Maika' to me) only to get those things done - now people in Blore will know how difficult it is to maneuvour one-self in that Bazaar on a saturday evening. Its mostly just 1 long street with just about everything you want, available. So, with the little one safe at home with mom, hubby and I took Dad's 2 wheeler and left. Wow! I think we were going on a 2 wheeler after a couple of years,no wait! nearly 3 yrs considering the time from pregnancy! Brought back nice memories - of being irresponsible and care-free...

Let me record for posterity here that I was without a Mangalsutra around my neck for quite a few months coz I didnt have the time to get it repaired. And I got varied reactions for that - with people suggesting various poojas to be done, gasping at my total nonchalance about not wearing it or about it breaking into two... Well! So, finally this saturday we got that repaired (which actually was more of a bahana) and then went to eat at the E.A.T street for the amazing chaats. This again I hadnt eaten in nearly 3yrs and I was literally craving for it. Now, THIS is the reason why Im putting up this post - I ate Churmuri and tomato masala at that gaadi in front of bugle rock - Man! Im still drooling over that, and still dissatisfied :-( I love love love churmuri (bhel) that he makes and I never have dinner after that... After that did some more shopping and went back home. We are so used to going everywhere by car these days that the little wind blowing made us feel cold - and made us feel old! that we cannot withstand this little bit of wind while we would drive around town until past 11 on the 2 wheeler just a couple of years before...How the body gets used to luxury!

Sunday morning,mom wanted some time-out from Chutku to do her own thing - he NEVER lets her be when we are at home especially if she is busy with some task. And speaking of luxury we are thinking of buying a new car for ourselves and returning the in-laws' Alto back to them -so we had planned to go check out something at the show-room. We packed up the little monster and took him along too instead of leaving him at home with the parents... And what does he do there - run around like crazy around all the cars, sitting inside all the cars like he was the one making the buying decision and honking like crazy! God! While the hubby spoke to the sales-person I went bonkers trying to get hold of a little speed maniac! Oh and by the way - the sales-person while filling out the form asked me - "Madam, do you also work with Sir in the same organisation?"
Me: Yes! (eh?!) how do you know?
SP: I have seen you...
Me: Seen me? Where? :-O
SP: When we put up those sales advertisements in the office - I come there...I have seen you in the office.
ME: Oh! (Giving him a huge smile and Secretly pleased that Im still noticable!-being a mom and age, ungainly bulges in the wrong places and all - ofcourse he doesnt need to know that, does he?)

And when I mentioned to hubby that the Sales person has seen me in the office he says: "Oh! he must have seen you taking Chutku back to the bus in the evenings - is it?" -*bang,thud,phooos* Trust this husband to bring me,rather, plonk me back on the ground. And while I couldnt keep quiet and told him that I was feeling happy about it and there was no mention of chuktu in the conversation anywhere - he *then* understood what I was saying and guess what his reaction was - he just stood there and laughed loud and so hard that he had to put Chutku down and hold onto his sides!! :-(

So to compensate for all that laughter - he took Chutku out in the evening giving me some precious me-time to just lounge on the sofa and change channels for a couple of hours which helped me nurse my BAD cold :-)

There - that was quite a mixture of a weekend and am already looking forward to this weekend too... Hopefully - Book shopping this weekend! Yippeeee!! Have a fun wednesday everyone...

Work related updates

2011-11-22T14:39:00.000+05:30

First of all, I need to let all of you know that I am regularly reading all the posts BUT somehow this browser doesnt allow me to comment. And most days Im just too tired to go back home and log-in again-just to put in the comment.So, dont throw me out of your radar!

And this change is mostly because I have now moved (yay!).Moved departments. For 8 (nearly) years I was a proper 'Techie' mainly working in technology specific projects with client defined timelines and client facing roles. I know I was good - All my peers/seniors who have worked with me or my juniors to whom I might (Im not too good at that :( ) have helped have told me.

Like any other working person I did crib about my job or the odd pressure but while I cribbed - I enjoyed the cribbing - you know what I mean? I used to enjoy the importance of doing the job and being indispensible - it did wonders to my Ego too! But after Chutku and a lot of such cribbing later I realised that there was no longer that happiness associated with going to work. It felt like I was doing the same thing, I was doing for the past 7+ years and somewhere down the line I began to loose interest. Also, once I began to take on other responsibilities apart from just the techie stuff - I began to learn that there was so much more to the work! And I began to like doing that more than the techie stuff.

And then when I moved to this organisation, and after a lot of delibaration and discussion AND putting all my frustration out here on the blog, I have now moved! Moved out of the role I was so used to doing. Moved to what they call 'Enabling Functions'. How does it feel - Kind of "Fish out of water" at the moment. A new place, new desk, new people.Moved to non-client,non-technology role. Where I know there is a lot to learn though that kind of pressure might not exist. Im also still kind of feeling odd-because I dont need to meet the external clients, dont need to stay back to take calls, I can schedule my day as I want BUT there is also a sense of loss - that Im going to loose that 'Techie" tag and the opportunity to meet clients is like nill.

Lets see where this goes. So, far its been a couple weeks and Im enjoying meeting new people and sitting in various meetings and sessions, getting to know the processes for the organisation better - a bigger picture infact. Best of all - Im leaving on time everyday with no stress! Leaving you with such a picture: A friend and fellow blogger took a picture of Chutku and I walking back to the bus one evening :-)

Friday fun: Equation with the grand parents

2011-11-18T14:39:00.000+05:30

I've put here time and again on how both sets of grand parents are obsessed with the grand child and how he knows and identifies each one by their roles. Now that my parents have shifted with us the occurance of instances with them have multiplied and here are a few of them that I can remember...

Dad has a habit of wearing a topi in the evenings and mornings when the temp drops. So, in the evenings Chutku is used to seeing Dad with a topi sleeping on the sofa watching TV. The other evening Dad was sitting/lying down on another sofa and seriously watching a movie. Chutku goes to him - "Thatha,Thatha, yeeuu (yeLu - Get up)"

Dad very irritatedly got up and asked "Yaako" (Why)

Chutku: "Illi baa" pointing to another sofa (come here)

Dad Goes and sits there.

Chutku picks up the sofa cushions, pushes them under Dad's head and asks "Topi yelli"

Then Dad says I dont want topi now. But the little fellow is not convinced. Goes to the bed room,searches for the topi, comes back,gives it to Dad "Haako" (wear it).

At the end of this Dad was overwhelmed. Ayio, this little fellow loves me so much - he's heard saying to everyone these days :-)
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My in-laws call everyday (or I call them) and they talk to the little fellow on phone. He either tells A-Z and other rhymes with my MIL or tells FIL that he played/ate and some random nonsense to FIL.

Its so difficult with this fellow keeping tabs on every action of mine. I have this habit of talking on the phone walking. I just cannot sit in one place and talk. And I have no idea when the little monster noticed it as I really dotn talk much with him around. But still, yesterday my FIL called and asked to talk to him-this fellow,held the phone between his sholder and ear, began to walk around and talk sometimes even giggle and do something else - like picking toys. My parents and hubby just could'nt control their laughter - Hubby even recorded the whole thing to show me again and again later that THAT was exactly how I talk on phone! :-O -talking,walking,doing multiple things...
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He is now used to my Dad picking us up from the bus stand (Another perk of having parents staying with me :-) ). Yesterday we went back home with hubby. The minute we turned to the quieter street from the main road, he asks me "Amma, thatha yelli, broooom,brooom, thatha thoonthe (scooter!), hemt (Helmet), mane" _ does that make sense to you all too?
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Mom and Dad have a schedule - Dad does pooja in the mornings and Mom in the evenings. So, mornings when Chutku comes down, he insists that he wants to be carried when Dad is doing the Abhisheka.So, if on a saturday,Dad has finished or not yet started the pooja-he asks - Thatha, Aum aaitha? (Finished saying Aum? meaning pooja) He doesnt ask mom then.

And in the evenings as soon as we come home, he asks "Ammamma yelli?" Finds her and asks "Aum Aaiytha?" He ejoys watching them do the pooja everyday and has taken to saying Aum with Dad a couple of times and roams behind mom when she is doing the Tulasi pooja in the mornings. Im now asking them only to teach him a few easy shlokas since he seems to be enjoying them. Good for me!
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Mom has begun to put a little bit of boost/complan in the mornings when she is making milk for us. And the minute he sees her in the kitchen he goes asking "Ammamma, compan,compan" and she HAS To give it to him else he makes her carry him,points to the dabba abd insists until he's been fed. So, these days even some medicines are also being pushed down the throat mixed in a little bit of complan - whatever works!

So there - as expected he is getting more attached to them by the day and wants them most of the times now than Amma...

Surprises - The New Dove Oil care product

2011-11-17T15:34:00.001+05:30

I have been wanting to write this post for more than a month now for the Indiblogger contest for Dove. Not that I wanted to participate in the contest but then I know its not good blogger ethics if I dont even mention what I got! Hence this delayed post.

The weekend of my Birthday, while checking my e-mails I saw this mailer from Indi-Blogger that said that there are free offers of the new Dove Oil care products and all one had to do was give the address so that they would courier it home. And since I hadnt got any gifts and feeling sorry for myself - went ahead, gave the address and forgot all about it. A couple of weeks later I got this huge courier and couldnt even guess what it was until I opened it and got this lovely Golden piped transparent bag which had all these Dove goodies inside it! I was so surprised and happy! It seemed like a Birthday present at that time. I decided to use it and then put up a post/take a picture in the enthu but thats been so long in the making *looks sheepish*

Well! To add to that, I got my hair cut really short this time and have been using that product for about a month now - the mask,serum,conditioner and Shampoo and am loving it - my hair does feel soft and nice to touch and Im happy that it doesnt look frizzy at all. Also, the conditioner doesnt make my hair look oily either! Suuper. So, Im putting up this post to acknowledge that I did recieve the Dove Gifts from Indi Blogger and Im thanking them for it.

So, all you indi bloggers - go check it out - there might be more of such offers coming up frequently and Im going to participate more often!! Who doesnt want to win such goodies for free!??

(pic courtesy: makeupandbeatyreview.blogspot.com - since I didnt get the time to take a picture- I googled and got the picture of the products along with those golden balls like how it was packed -so posting it here).

Karnataka Heritage Trip - Oct 31st and Nov 1st

2011-11-16T10:44:00.000+05:30

Day 3 and 4:

OK, now for the last day of the fun part. I already mentioned that we reached Koodalasangama for the night stay in the last post. But what I forgot to mention was that we got lost on the way actually -from BAdami to Koodalasangama. These are times I feel really bad that our authorities dont do enough to promote tourism. The diversion to Koodalasangama is a narrow road and there are not even any signs - let alone at night in the dark, one cannot make out the way even in daytime.

Continuing, on day 3, we got ready and had breakfast at the only good restaurant there - Kamat Yatri Nivas. And then as planned we went to the Shiva temple and the Basaveshawara Aikya MAntapa - the place where BasavaNNa apparently attained NirvaNa. This place is amazing and very well maintained. The actual Aikya place is very simple and under water. So, they have built a bridge and imagine a huge pillar inside which there are stairs to go down to the actual aiKya mantapa. What I liked most was the fact that there was no crowd, no selling un-necessary stuff and very clean. Once we came up, we decided to go boating in the river.2 rivers confluence - Krishna and Ghataprabha. The boat ride was unfortunately not satisfactory since it was very short. We then played in the water for sometime and then started to Bijapur.

Bijapur was HOT! and it was afternoon by the time we reached the hotel. It took real effort to walk out of that cool room for lunch and site seeing at 1.30 in the afternoon :-) Still, we did it! We had a jowar roti lunch - speciality there and then saw Barah Kamaan (no one knows why this was built), Ibrahim Roza complex and then the Gol Gumbaz which was the highlight. Its a superbly architectured place where even a rustle of a paper,hanky can be heard across the interiors of the building! Oh! Why am I even trying to explain that.You have to read more here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gol_Gumbaz

And yeah, I have to mention that as we climb thr 7 floors of the structure - the stairs get narrower and steeper and by the 7th floor I had to hold onto my knees and climb! Some serious excercising is required now I think :-(

It was already dark by the time we got out of the Gol Gumbaz and then we had heard about a huge Shiva temple which was newly built - so we went there. By then Chutku was tired and so was I, so while my Co-sis took pictures Hubby and I had a huge arguement about feeding the little fellow and putting him to sleep :-(. To add to that, there was a traffic jam too on the way back and it added to the exhaustion. We ate dinner at the restaurant and hit the bed early.

Day 4: Was just travel back. We wanted to see the Alamatti dam but unfortunately there were very strict restrictions and so we couldnt even see the water on the dam - we just drove in and drove out of that place. We finally did go to the Kamat restaurant that we had seen on the way (on the first day) had coffee there and as soon as we crossed Chitradurga we saw clouds and by the time we came to Tumkur road/Nelamangala it had begun to pour. After all that heat of past 2 days it was wonderful to drive through rain and cool winds and feel 'at-home' :-)

Finally, some pictures of the last day of touring - Koodalasangama and Bijapur.

Basavanna Aikya Mantapa from top - this whole structure is inside a huge pillar

The actual Aikya sthaLa (place)

The complete temple complex from the boat ride

Aikya Mantapa at the top

The river and temple complex from the Aikya Mantapa

Bijapur - Barah Kamaan

Bijapur - Ibrahim Roza

Bijapur - Gol Gumbaz

Bijapur - Gol Gumbaz - view from the 5th floor

Bijapur - Gol Gumbaz - View from the top floor (7)

Bijapur - Gol Gumbaz

Karnataka Heritage Trip - Oct 30

2011-11-12T07:29:00.001+05:30

Day 2 - We covered most places on this day and were on the road from 7am to around 8.30pm. Well worth the driving I must say. We even ate at the Mahakoota temple where they were giving free lunch. Plenty of such places in Karnataka where they give the afternoon lunch for free and the food will just be yummy. Though we were very late and didnt get the curry - we did eat just the rice,rasam and yummy curd set in earthen pots - so the curd had a nice earthen smell to it. We reached Koodalasangama at 8.30 and while the rest of them went to have dinner, chutku and I just slept...

AiHole,Pattadakal,Mahakoota.Banashankari and Badami were the places we covered.These places dont have cluster of archeological sites- just a couple of ruins each and they are again a reminder of all the plunder our rich country went through. What saddned me most was the sight of the lovely carvings where the hands/face have all been smashed and the original work of art has all been kind of demolished. Im still left wondering what was the need to do all that? They did come and plunder and take away the riches - but why spoil the work of art- a painstaking effort on stone done lovingly by the artist over God knows how many months/years :-(

Pictures speak a thousand words:

The temple Gopuram at AihoLe

Pattadakal Archeological Complex

Pattadakal - full temple view

Pattadakal

notice the intricate carvings

Carvings on the outer wall

Friday Fun - The not so fun traits

2011-11-11T14:18:00.000+05:30

I've so far been writing the good and naughty stuff of Chutku but off-late I've begun to see so many of his own 'traits' that both amuse and worry me!

Stubborn - I've been mentioning here how his ego hurts to say sorry, how he refuses to do something.Offlate his favourite word seems to be 'No' - "No Amma No, peech no" - if he doesnt want to sleep, be fed for everything. You ask him to pick up something and he doesnt wantto get up from your lap - No,remove shoes - No. Sometimes to feed him dinner I put cartoon rhymes - so he says - "No Cartoon, no mummmumm!" Its become a challenge to make him eat/sleep these days! Even bath that he used to enjoy - no... Oh! And the latest today - early morning potty cleaning - "No Diapy change! No!!" Huh?!
Nautanki - Im seriously considering sending him to an acting/drama school to perfect the art. He knows drama - My God! He knows it so well, I bet he can beat any of our heroes in acting these days and win a Filmfare award too :-P He created a scene a couple of days back when I went to the day care - shouting and screaming like I was leaving him forever! The other mother there just kept giving me BAD stares because I was leaving my crying,kicking son and going away. I knew he would stop it the minute I went out, but my heart didnt agree - so I stood outside the closed door and peeped inside through the glass - and my guess was bang on! The little monster was happily running around and pulling something. Draame Baaz. And he has learnt what works on my parents too - he doesnt need me these days.

Possessiveness - So far it was possessiveness only about me - no one should touch me,no other kid should sit on my lap.But these days its all about things. If any other kid has a toy in hand he has to rush and grab it. The small slide at the day care - if he wants to play - he wants to play RIGHT NOW no matter who else is already playing - lots of pushing and showing and hitting :-( too happening. And the care takers tell me that he does that only when Im around which I dont believe. I've been telling them to teach him the concept of sharing since its difficult for me to teach that at home :-(

Hitting/Shoving/Pushing - Like I already mentioned above - this has become a very common feature - the minute he doesnt get what he wants, he begins to hit saying 'Atthi' (aDDi in Tamil Which means hit - i was told). He learnt the word at the day care from the care takers. No amount of telling him that 'atthi' is bad doesnt work. Im at a loss how to make him understand that hitting/pushing ios bad. And Im scared at this rate that some parent in the daycare will complain of his rowdiness :-( There HAS to be some control when he is around other children. The hand is almost always in the raised position these days and Im damn scared of the consequences!
Some one tell me what to do? Pretty Please.

Karnataka Heritage Trip - Oct 29

2011-11-10T22:53:00.002+05:30

Before I forget all about the trip we had a couple weekends back - I thought I should document it in day-series.

Day 1: Oct 28: We left Blore at about 7.15 - 15mins delay which got made up by the supperb driving by the BIL (Hubby's cousin) on the NICE road. We went in serach of a Kamat restaurant near a place called Sira on the way which was supposed to be a couple of hours drive. We left a lot of retaurants on the way because we had heard that would be the best. When we finally found it-it was on the other side of the road, and we went and went and went in search of a break in the road divider for about 2kms with no break! Finally we found a brk and we also found a Jai Hind restaurant - a run-down place which still served amazing Chow chow bhaat and idly. I was glad for the idly and fed Chutku that while we all had other stuff to eat. Anywhere on a road trip - we generally enjoy the Chai/coffee from these small shops-how could we let that go?

We reached Hospet well on time and since it was still 12.30pm we decided to see the Tunga Bhadra dam on the way. The minute we stopped the clouds gathered and except for a few mins we walked in light rain (a little more than drizzle) all the way to the TB dam. The saddest part was that they do not allow anyone on the dam for security reasons and we had to be satisfied standing quite some distance away,looking at the water and taking pictures (small digression here: I wanted Chutku to enjoy walking on the dam like I had when I was around 5 and I remember the dam was full and overflowing - i was holding onto both mom and dad and we had walked on the dam and seen the water which was almost overflowing. No such luck though :-( )

We reached our hotel by 2pm, had lunch and rushed to Hampi. It poured all through the drive and eased-up by the time we reached Hampi. Hired a guide and went around looking at the most important sites - all well maintained by the archeological department.Lotus mahal for the queens,Elephant stables,Ugra Narasimha, Virupaksha temple, The rich street where they sold pearls,corals and other precious stones as a barter system. Ah! To just imagine such richness... We saw the stone Ratha (chariot) and the temple pillars that when hit, each small pillar sounds to one sapta swara - Sa,Re,Ga,MA,Pa,Dha,Ni,Sa. Oh! I forgot to add that we had to ride in a electic cart (like a golf cart) driven by the ladies to the Stone Chariot which Chutku called 'Auto'! While waiting for the ride back everyone ate gaadi ice cream which we even gave a bite to the little fellow who initially shuddered and then asked for more :-P

We saw the most important sights in Hampi coz like the guide said - it will take atleast 10 days to see all the ruins of the place, and we had only 3-4 hrs :-( This day was the best because the weather was so pleasant that we all enjoyed walking around while everyone had scared us that it would be very hot.On the way back to Hospet my niece wanted to eat noodles:-) and so we went to a big restaurant,had dinner in peace(the little fellow thankfully slept on the drive back) and just crashed as we had an early next morning to see most places: Badami,Pattadakal,AihoLe,Mahakoota and Banashankari...

Yeah, I know the description of actual Hampi is very short, but sometimes things cannot be said - they only have to be experienced. So, I will just let you see for yourself:

Stone Chariot

The entire kingdom of Hampi under the Krishna Deva Raya rule - Vijayanagara empire

Lotus Mahal-Zanana-The queens' bathing area

Elephant Stables

The stone pillars which sing Sapta Swara

Plenty of such carvings that were broken during the Bahamani conquer :-(

Friday Fun - Chutku's trip tales

2011-11-04T23:13:00.000+05:30

What trip? - you are all wondering, i know. The last weekend was a long one-well we made it a long one by taking 31st off - since 1st was anyway a holiday on behalf of Karnataka Rajyotsava. And we along with Hubby's cousins family - him, his wife and 8 yr old daughter went on a Karnataka Heritage trip. More about that in detail later, but here are a few things related to Chutku through those 4 days...

# On the day we left and through out the trip - Doddamma/Doddappa/N Akka were the magic words. To eat,sleep,even to get the diaper changed!

# The fact that his Appa was not driving was a blessing for me. He refused to come down from his father's lap and sit back with me - that gave me my own physical space. Yeah, for someone who travels with tiny feet,hands,elbows, knees, head jutting and hitting at odd places through out the 1.5 hrs journey one way everyday - it was sooo good to have my body to myself. And at the same time there was also a sense of not having something!

# He took his time to get adjusted to N akka and after that she had to be in his view through out - otherwise the Q - N Akka yelli would bug us - even if she went to the loo!

#Oh! but then the possessiveness wouldnt go at all. I plaited N akka's hair into 4 small plaits and she loved it. But there was a small fire of jealousy in the little fellows little belly. So, he asked for a juttu too and when I told him that I didnt have any more rubber bands left, he threw a tantrum.Finally, I had to put a scrunchy and make a juttu for him *rolls eyes*

# On the way there were huge wind mills and to keep him distracted his doddappa showed them to him and told them that they were Fans. From then on till the end of the journey there was constant search for the phaan.

# The usual tantrums of wanting to drive! The minute the driver got out of the car-he would jump,wriggle - do anything to sit in that seat and he would start his mock driving - drroommmmm, peem,peem...

# That reminds me, through out the trip, at all places they have put cement slabs for all the archeological sites - and those were the F1 racing routes for the little fellow - he would runnnnn around like he was driving the F1 car, trip and fall.Finally after the 4th fall he scraped his knee and after that it was all about 'Abbu' and sad smiley face. The nautanki.

# And Nautanki reminds me - he hit me once because I didnt let him go to his father who was driving - at a really good speed (burning rubber my co-sis said) on the highway. So, I asked him to say sorry and scolded him. For that he cried - we could all see the way he got the tears to his eyes! called out to his doddappa/doddamma/N Akka who all ignored him on my instructions and when he finally realised that nothing will work he came back to me, hugged my legs and asked to be lifted. When I insisted that he has to say sorry first - he looked around to ensure that nobody was looking at him and then very softly said "Thoyyiii"!!

# And what really worked most was this - his vocabulary has improved by leaps and bounds. How much he can talk now! He kept repeating our words thru the journey and that helped him learn a lot more words now...

#Finally, on the way back, he got such a huge bout of laauuvv for N Akka that he sat on her lap,pinched her cheeks,sang chubby cheeks for her,kissed her,hugged and smothered her :-D And it was a real cute site to see.

Even after 4 days he is still asking - N Akka yelli....

Leaving you with a few pictures.

Friday Fun - Chutku at 22 months

2011-10-28T14:59:00.000+05:30

The little fellow has become more than 2 hands full! Looks like Im the only one who can handle him right now. Mom,Dad,MIL, hubby all of them think twice before accepting to handle him even for a couple of hours incase I need to go out. Here's how it goes if I say I need to go to out for a couple hours (even to the parlor for a 10mins eyebrows job!)

Dad "Im not going to commit to taking care of him-I cant run behind him".
Mom "If Dad is also at home then I think I can take care of him for half day, but he wont eat with me..."
MIL "I can take him to the park for 1/2 hr - get all your work done by then, at home he wont stay with me!!"
Hubby "(Resignedly) OK, I will stay at home... (a couple mins later) Where are your parents going? They will be back before you go na? (A couple more mins later) Hmmm... I think I will call up my mom and ask if she can come...(some silence later) - do you *really* HAVE to go today only? Cant you go next weekend when your parents/my mom/my dad (or someone else) can be at home...

So such is the situation with the little monster right now...

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He has become extremely expressive - LOUD and clear - yes, loud being the operative word. He wants what he wants only and at that moment only -totally stubborn - be it the horsie, the shoes (he sometimes even sleeps with shoes on and we need to remove it after he sleeps). Doesnt want to eat means No Amma-no appacchi, Doesnt want to sleep - No Amma, no cheep, Wants cartoon - A,B,C catoooonn. His Thatha should not remove his specs, appa should never sit next to amma... the list is endless!

If Ajji comes - he knows she will take him out in the pram - so as soon as she comes he will not even allow her to step inside and remove her shoes - Ajji,come,baa Ajji, paammm (pram) and creates a scene if she doesnt go immediately.

He is not feeling too well for over 3 weeks now :-( lot of phlegm and cough and he wakes up from sleep.The other night he was tossing and turning and hubby thought that maybe he was feeling hot - so he removed his socks - immediately the little fellow sits up in bed - sits crossed legged in front of his Appa and begins to cry - socksssuuuu, socuksssuuuu with closed eyes - hubby too is confused in sleepy state, looks at me not knowing what to do - I said - put his socks back on - as soon as he put it - the little fellow just fell back on the bed - in hubby's place and there was no place for hubby to sleep. So I tell him to come and sleep in Chutku's place (next to me,by the way) immediately the little fellow begins to push him from that place-"Naanuu (me) ,no Appa no cheep". At 2.30am in the morning does it happen in your homes too? - hear a child crying and 2 adults laughing.That is his level of possessiveness for me...

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And all my worries about him talking have just vanished into thin air.Everytime we talk he picks up some new word and begins to use it. These days he is making small 3 word sentences too - Amma naana aithu (Bath), Amma come amma,chit (sit), puttu paapa cheep (puttu paapa - himself)!! He wants me most of the times next to him while he sleeps.

At the day care, they say Aa paNNu while they feed the kids - so in the bus, he eats half a biscuit and then says "Amma, aa paNNuuuu" and shoves the left over piece in my mouth while Im trying to control my laughter!

I've already written about his Theetha aunty here. Now, this theetha aunty has told him that if he sits down between seats there will be mosquitoes which will bite him - so even in the car now, if he sits down even to pick up something he says "Thoyye,theetha aunthy - thoyyee" :-P (thoyye = soLLe=mosquito in Kannada)

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Some stolen moments:

Some mornings (very rarely) if he doent wake up by 6.30 - its my job to wake him up - and I just LOVE doing it with kisses. I keep giving him kisses until he wakes up.He opens his eyes, smiles at me, stretches himself and then raises his hands saying "huggiieeee" and I just melt into those arms :-) for as long as those arms are around my neck - I forget all about the morning hurry...

Sudden bursts of love has my face smothered with tiny fingers pinching my cheeks and unlimited kisses,pulling of hair and sometimes even biting!

Since my parents are here,we have shifted to the upstairs room and while the little fellow is all confident climbing the stairs, getting down scares him - so if he wants to get down he calls me "Amma, baa, Amma,come" (with actions) and he will get down 2 stairs holding my fingers and then he just stands there and says "Amma, yetha, peech yettha" (yetta - carry) and I realise that my toddler is still my baby which I can savour for a few more days/months until he begins to push me out to learn everything on his own!

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Couple more months until he turns 2 - sigh! My baby is growing up so damn fast! :-(

And oh yeah,can anybody confirm - Do the terrible two tantrums begin from 22nd month itself...

Jagjit Singh - RIP

2011-10-18T21:26:00.000+05:30

I know I am a week late but I didnt want it to be never... So, here is my small tribute to the man whose songs were what exposed me to ghazals. And they all hold a special place in my heart - both because of the lyrics and the soulful way he has sung them too.. These songs are what they are because he sung them and more often than not I sing these songs in family gatherings that has brought in appreciation.

This ofcourse *has* to be on top... Wow the lyrics and Wow the singing...

Aakaash ka soonapan mere tanha man mein...

Zindagi dhoop tum ghana saaya...

Rekhaao ka khel hai mukkaddar...Rekhao se maut kha rahi ho...

And finally, This one that also has Aamir Khan... Hosh walon ko khabar kya...

All these songs are on the iPod and I can listen to these on repeat on a really bad day or a reflective day and the mood lightens up...RIP Jagjit Singh...

Killing Dreams - Is this an abuse too?

2011-10-18T11:51:00.002+05:30

I wanted to write a post on women violence and incidents I've heard off but then I got to know about a colleague yesterday afternoon which got me thinking on these lines - do read below and let me know what you all think too...

I have a young colleague - she's about 23/24 and she has been working for about 3 years now. An only daughter with 2 brothers she is well educated,pampered and given wings to fly... She has built dreams to be a career woman - sees herself where she wants to be 10 years from now - be her own person and in a top position in an organisation, dreams of giving her parents the best health care available, buy her own home her own car... All dreams that any self confident person would think of. She has slowly and surely built confidence in her abilities with the higher management, has been vocal about wanting to travel for long term onsite assignments and her VISA processing had begun when I first met her about 6 months back.Infact, when I first met her - that was what I really appreciated - here was a girl who knew where she was, where she wanted to go - what she wanted from her life and was working really hard to get there.

Today, she is crying - her dreams and aspirations are all but gone down the drain...Why? Here is the story:

About 5 months back, she announced that she was engaged to be married in July. When we asked her about what happened to her dreams of onsite assignment she said everyone was aware of it and had 'agreed' to her pursuing that dream even after marriage. Everyone - her parents, her in-laws and her fiance'. She was sooo happy that her plans were appreciated. Initially she had even refused to get married until her onsite assignment was completed. But then like all parents of girls there was some emotional drama and push for her to consider marriage and her parents promised that they would keep the other party informed about her onsite opportunity. And on their part - they had. The would-be MIL and the fiance' were all for it. They agreed that he would get married and go back to the US where he worked while she stayed here until the VISA processing got completed, would go onsite (Canada) and they would visit often until she could move permanently to US once her onsite assignment was done - which would be another year at most...

The wedding happened, she got a dependent Visa, and he went back, she continued to be here and commute between here and her in-laws/parents places over the weekends. Her Canadian VISA and work permit came too about a couple of weeks back and then the troubles began.

As it stands today, her MIL did not want her to go onsite on work. She wanted her to join the son immediately and start their 'married-life' from now. The fiance turned husband she was so confident about now says do whatever my mom tells you - come and start life with me here - I want you here... Her own parents say - do whatever the MIL and husband say - your married life is more important than your career... Quit and join your husband. Its good for you...

It would've probably been easy to join the husband for someone like me - really - because I'm not really so career oriented - I do the best I can at work... but for that girl - her career is her dream, her identity, her passion - so she is having a hard time now...She has tried convincing her husband that it will work out - its a matter of 1 more year.. their bond of marriage is yet to start and its a matter of time before they are together... but it doesn't seem to be working...

Here are my thoughts:
1. The same dreams and aspirations - if it were the man - would've been appreciated and all support given to him - so why should this girl's dreams be crushed now?
2. If this is what they wanted - why didn't they make it clear on day 1? She would've refused the proposal (she had before for the same reasons) and not gotten into this mess...
3. Who is to be blamed here? I'm a nobody to ask where it all started - but where ever it all started - shouldn't the husband and her parents who had made promises support her desire to go onsite? She is not doing anything wrong - is she? Why don't they consider the heartache they are causing this girl by changing their decision now?
4. Why should that girl's decision be changed and manipulated now by other's desires and decisions?
5. Would the husband quit and join her where ever she is? - Why not? Why should she be the one compromising?
6.She has worked hard and fought harder to get this opportunity - now after everything is set and she is due to travel in a couple of weeks, if she backs-off - what happens to her impression and good-will in the office? Will she not loose face big-time?
7. Now what is the girl to do - kill her own dreams of a good career,quit and join the husband? What of her own life then? Someone else said - if she compromises now, she will always have it on her mind for the rest of her life- and I agree - its a shattered dream...

How many men have followed their dreams of travelling and either left their wife and kids here or the whole family has shifted along with the men - to fulfil the man's dream? The woman quits her job and follows the man to take care of him/his kids and family...

How many men have you seen doing it for their wife? Again and again and again - the woman in the relationship has to "let go" and compromise...

I'm not angry, I'm just very sad. Sad for the situation that girl is today and no matter what she decides she has to go through a lot of heartache...

Is there a sure shot Passport to a Healthy Pregnancy?

2011-10-17T15:08:00.000+05:30

Women's Web is hosting a contest:

and I decided to participate too... I had never put up my birth story or my pregnancy story here and I kept thinking it was too late - but what better opportunity than this, now? :-)

Where do I start... Lets start from the very beginning - I had a miscarraige in the 10th week of my first pregnancy. And after that I was paranoid at every stage...

So,when the home pregnancy kit showed a blue line and we took the day off and excitedly/nervously ran to the gynaec. She asked me if I was sure or I wanted to do the test again and I said I was sure. So, she asked me to come back in the 10th week to do my first scan and ensure that things were smooth and that we can hear the heart beat... In the meantime - I think sometime around the 8th week, Hubby had an accident and Im not sure if that was the stress or implantation, I had spotting. So, we ran to the doc again and got a scan. This time around, the scan doctor was pretty happy with the growth and so she asked me to come back in the 10th week again so we can make sure that the heart beat was heard. 10th week - I was such a nervous wreck that the scan doc joked that my heart beat without the scanner was so loud that she would not be able to hear the baby's! When we first heard that beautiful sound of gallopping horses - we recorded it and hubby had tears in his eyes. We were SO happy... But the pregnancy wasnt without its stress...
a. There was some goof-up about my age and the blood reports came as a high risk for Down's syndrome - so my Ob-Gyn asked me to get another scan and blood test done at a specialised scanning center and take the opinion of that doctor - so for the next 2 weeks-I was paranoid until the results came normal.Because of all these confusions my Ob-Gyn was extra careful and asked me to visit another very famous center at the 20th week for the scan. -That was a horrifying experience-The doctor was unfriendly and didnt give me any inputs and neither did he show me the scan images. I was terrified. Then I couldnt control it any longer and directly asked him if all was well. He just nodded his head and told me that his receptionist would give me the reports!!
b. My Granny passed away when I was about 7 months pregnant - I had BP fluctuations for about a week during that time and I was asked to relax.
c. After the 7th month Seemantham, when I went for the 28th week blood test- the ob-gyn said I am a border line case for GD! Then I was asked to meet the endocrinologist and Iwas told that since I was Not diabetic I could control through my diet and was put on a diet - He was surprised that I was eating 3 chikoos and 1 full pmogranate in a day - Chikkoo apprantly are extremely high in sugar content! "Eat everything in moderation - dont skip anyting, but dont over eat either"
d. During the 3 trimester I think I had a scan every 2 weeks because the doctor was not happy with just 'feeling' the baby - she kept thinking that the baby was very small for the number of months and because she had already seen so many fluctuations in me, she told me that she was being careful.

Oh! And all these months I had to lead a hectic project where I had to even do the manager's part of the work too and he was most unhappy that I was going on maternity leave at that time! So, I was putting in 12hr days almost 4 days a week until the 7th month and after the BP fluctuations episode I had to bring in higher management to be taken off the project so I could do my 9hrs at work and leave... by the time I was 'slowly' relieved from my role - I was already in the 9th month.

Finally, on Dec 22nd - which was my due date and I had absolutely no signs of labor, I went for a check-up and that was the first time I told her that I havent felt the baby move since the previous night. She checked the heart-beat and though it sounded OK she asked me to get admitted. She discussed the situation with hubby and me and In her words " Under normal circumstances, I would've given it another week, but in your case, because the baby is small and you are on controlled diet for GD, I think the baby is not getting enough nutrients and I would rather have the baby out and feed it outside than leave it inside and keep getting worried if its getting all the food it needs and if its growing well. Get admitted and I will induce the labor". I was so practically unprepared!

We rushed to the hospital,finished the formalities (some confusion and they took me staight to the labour room assuming I was in labour!) and she came, checked and induced pain - all in about 1 hr time. It was around 10.30 am in the morning. By about 12, I was getting a little more pain when she came and checked and told me that the baby's head was still floating and was not in position and it could take about 24hrs of labor - and in all this 24hrs if she finds even a bit of destress to the baby she will do a C-section. I got worried and Mom was petrified!We asked the doctor if I can have a C-section right then. After a lengthy discussion with the doc,.hubby and me - the doc finally agreed to do the C-section at 1.15pm. I believe she even told hubby that I should've given 'normal' a shot but then when she took Chutku out at 2pm and gave one look at him she told me "Right Decision R, I dont think this little fellow could've withstood the 24 hrs of labour, he is so small-no wonder his head was not fixed yet"... Purely instinct on my part here...

With that the pregnancy story ends but the 'tips' are here:

1. Read - Through all the tests and scans I used to read What to Expect - it was always on my bedside table. It used to give me an idea of what was happening inside me - whether what I was feeling was normal or I had to be concerned. It gave me information on every thing I wanted to know. And when I would be stressed or scared awaiting some result - reading about my baby's development gave me positivity...
2. Talk to your Ob-Gyn - Ask every doubt you have. Its your body and you have a right to know what's happening. I used to read/google and ask her a lot of questions. She would always ask me after the consult,with a smile - Ok, so where is your list for today... I always had questions and she always answered them practically. She never gave me false hopes - she told me-Im not your mother (oh! she didnt look like one either! she must just be about 45yrs), Im your doctor-I will tell you medically and practically what is happening to you and how you need to handle it too... She gave a lot of value to my emotions/ feelings/ thoughts and words... She always boosted my confidence.
3. Trust the Ob-Gyn - Im stressing this here again - through all the hormonal fluctuations/multiple second opinions that she herself suggested/scans - I had complete trust in her ability - she exuded the calm and proficiency of knowing what she was doing...

A few from the doctor's mouth:
1. Eat healthy, eat for yourself - your body will demand what it needs and eat at right intervals. Do not eat for 2 like they say. Eat everything in moderation - forget papaya - even banana if overeaten can cause harm...And a couple of slices of papaya causes no harm - and its rich in antioxidants...

2. Work until the due date - no harm unless explicitly told to rest. But dont stress-walk for 5 mins every 1 hour - if you've never excercised before - no need to stress about it either...Walk aroung your campus once before lunch, take water/loo breaks every 1/2 hr - helps prevent back aches/swollen feet.

3. Scanning doesnt harm the baby - you are not doing it everyday! And its better to be safe than sorry (And from personal experience, I know how disasterous it can be-a cousin lost her baby inutero which could've probably prevented if checked and scanned on time :-( )

4. If you HAVE to take a crocin - its OK, no need to panic about it - but that doesnt mean you can self-medicate either -talk to the doctor before you pop in any medicine...

Finally - this one time - trust your instincts - Yes, sounds unscientific but if you feel that something is not alright - then 90% it *is* not alright...And there is no harm in consulting the doc at that time - and a good doc will definitely not ridicule and will definitely make sure that you are physically and mentally fit too...

For all the to-be mommies - Enjoy the attention you get now and Stay Healthy!!

Friday Fun - Chutku's travel tales...

2011-10-14T11:43:00.000+05:30

We travel home by the office bus in the evenings - Chutku and I. For about 4 months now this has been the routine. And he just loves it! Loves the goodies people give him to eat, the attention he gets from a bus load of people, he enjoys the journey on most days - as long as there is not much traffic and we get down in about an hour and 15mins time - yes, he begins to get really restless after that.Some of our travel tales here for posterity.
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One evening, he was in full josh and suddenly hit my friend sitting next to us. I asked him to say "Sorry". The look he gave her: "Why the hell should I say sorry to you?!!" pouted and turned back to me. I kept insisting him to say sorry again. His reaction - trying to pacify me and change the subject - "Amma, bacchuu, aatttuuooo, lightu". I realised that by being persistent its not going to work so I left it at that for some time. About half hour later when our stop came, I told him, come lets get down and when he happily climbed on to me, I told him - "Im not going to get down from the bus if you dont say sorry". He understood that I meant business, looks at her - gives her a killing smile and tells her "Cholliii" and then looks back at me, says" Ummmm" pointing to the door. I could read his mind: "OK,lets get down now, I've done what you wanted anyway,I want to get out of this place before you hit my Ego again..."

I have to give credit here - But he loves that G aunty and misses her when she is not there "theetha aunty yelli?" and he walks the length of the bus, comes back and makes a face with his lower lip out indicating that he didnt find her in the bus anywhere :-D and if she IS in the bus, he just gives has a shy smile first and then begins all the drama... And this G aunty carries the forgotten umbrella, 1 shoe that has fallen off while getting down and even the sippy cup home (this girl isnt married and gets royally teased in her PG for carrying all these home) and promptly returns it back to me the next day with a promise that I get her an ice-cream - which Im yet to get!!

Now how does this kid know Ego so early on? Saying sorry is so difficult this early? I dread what's in store for me :-(
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A day of really bad traffic and rains about a month back and I've been getting back to back calls from my manager and he doesnt like it one bit that Im not paying any attention at all. Thankfully a nice guy is sitting next to me in the 3 seater - just indulges him and starts talking to him, gives him his mobile and lifts him. Guess what happened next? - He threw the guy's mobile phone on the luggage compartment on top of the seat!! And the guy was shocked! I had warned him earlier not to give the phone but he didnt understand the impact of the statement then. He just plonked Chutku next to me, got up jerkily and thankully his mobile was not damaged. Now the little fellow thought it was all a game and wanted to do it all again! :-O Now whenever he sees me in the cafeteria that guy asks - "your mobile is fine?" to me :-)
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All guys in the bus are Maama and all ladies are aunties - ofcourse, he looks at some girl and decides to call her Akka! Trust me - he already knows how to woo them girls... gives them an impish grin, call them akka, pout and give them a flying kiss - and Lo! There they all are- melting at his feet!!! No amount of warnings from me works at times and he peeps in-between the seats in the front - calls them and asks them to make him listen to music "aaaaaa" or for anything they might be eating too!! *I guess they are all wondering if I starve him :-( *

And Oh! The maamas all have their duties - some of them just give him a Hi-Fi, some a handshake, some make him listen to music,some show him the iPad and I remember one guy showing him some cat on the iPad where if you hit the screen the cat will fall, it will get tickled - something like that... And he was sooo smitten by it that day that he was unwilling to even get down from the bus and long after we went home also he kept asking " Meow yelli?"
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This is the latest in the Embarass Mommy series: Happened on monday. Loads of traffic and traffic jam and its past our time to get down. We are stuck at one signal where the engine is switched off,everyone in the bus is frustrated and closing their eyes and my son decides that THAT is the right time for a concert. He gets (rather wriggles) down on to the aisle between the seats, stands facing the back of the bus (I was sitting in the 2nd seat of the 50 seater) and starts loudly "Naayi mari naayi mari thindi beke..." I try to shush him with my finger on my lips and he says more loudly "Ammmmaaaaaa,shssshhhhhshhhhhhh, Naayi mari naayi mari...." Sigh! I wished ke bus ki bottom phak jaaye aur mein wahan se vanish ho jaaooo...
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Some titbits:
We had another kid coming in the same bus and my what fun it used to be! Both of them want the same sippy, same biscuit, if one spits the soggy chocolate from the mouth the other one also has to do the same, sudden lavvuuuu - with hugs and kisses galore then the nextr instant pulling hair and hitting and tears and it would take both of us mommies to pry them apart! I miss those days...

The minute I tell him we will get down, he hands me my purse handle, looks down to ensure Im wearing my slippers, hangs on to me with his arms and legs around me, and starts waving his left hand calling "Auuttttooooo, auutttooooo" the way I do it...

And finally, he has a huge fetish for people's shoes - before the bus starts he walks up and down the aisle checking if everyone's wearing their shoes and God forbid, if someone has removed their shoes and put their feet up - he points at the shoes, looks up at them and says" Chhhoooossssssss, Chapppiii chhooosssssssssssssssshhhhh" and wont come away from there until the person has slipped the shoes back on. Initial days I would get embarassed and apologise but these days until the bus starts nobody dares remove their shoes, and those tht sit next to us or in that row - dont dare to remove it until we get down! :-D -problem solved!

Oh! Im loving these bus travels with the little fellow :-)

Concept of Vacation-to stay available or not

2011-10-11T11:14:00.000+05:30

Ofcourse again RM's post triggered memories and thoughts that instead of hogging all her comment space (I DID leave a big comment there though!) I decided to put it here...

I worked at the client place for about 8 months in the US as a contractor from my first company. Fortunately I was the only person in the team who was a contractor and the others were all the clients themselves. So, my lead, the Subject Matter Expert (SME) were all quite older to me and very confident of what they were doing. Including their vacation time or their time after work.

I've seen that the general trend there is to get to work really early by about 7 and leave by 3. And those 8 hours they do only work -they hardly take many breaks... My lead was one such guy. A Baseball fanatic, a family man with 4 kids - he would be at his desk by 7 and leave sharp at 3.We used to have project production releases every fortnight on friday nights which I would do it from home at midnight and the rest of the week we would all be on high alert for any issues because it was all about a lot of company money transactions... After one such Friday release, the first 2 days were fine and then the we caught a bug on wednesday at 4pm. It was something major at the business level and we are all desperately trying to get it resolved when we realised that my lead is missing. Then the manager called him like 5 times but there was no response.
The next day the guy walks in coolly and gets into this meeting where the manager asks him where he was and that he was *needed* yesterday for the issue which we somehow managed to get a work around, and he says: "You know C, that wednesdays are my Golf days - I leave by 3". My eyes grow wide! And then when the manager says he could've atleast picked up the call so we could call him back: "Oh! I dont take any office calls once Im off for the day, I have a family and my own life-dont expect me to take office calls once I leave work, unless I mention myself that I will work from home!" By this time my jaws have dropped to the floor.

Here I was, refused leaves and comp-offs for working even on saturdays and sundays gettign hardly 3hrs of sleep because of the work pileup... I realised that I was plain stupid! I did not know where to draw the line and how to put my foot down...

That was when I realised how we 'fear' the organisation, the manager we report to or even how we dont know how to compartmentalise work and home/family. How to switch-off from work once we leave from work - either on a holiday or just home!

And there is also a big part played by the higher management itself. In the US if you cite your personal problems/if you inform that you will not be available - even if you are going gambling to Vegas (Yes, I said it and they were cool about it!) they respect your personal space and refrain from calling you even. They understand that you have a life beyond the work space. And it is necessary to unwind/ actually live life outside the 4 A/Ced walls of the office. Here once you reach a 'level' you need to be avaliable 24/7.(This was told to me by a senior manager when I told him my son was sick and I had the mobile on silent at 10.30pm in the night.) And that 'level' is for everyone from 6months to 16 years experience...

So, who will break this trend? Trend of working 12 hrs everyday all 7days of the week? Trend of expecting to be available when you are on a holiday?

Now, I have begun the trend myself, at the cost of much ire from the seniors - Trend of NOT being available over weekends/holidays/ even after 6pm in the evenings.Come what may!

The Birthday weekend and the Nava raatri

2011-10-07T16:26:00.000+05:30

Havent actually been the greatest :-( Yeah, sad but true... With all the carpentery work going on at home and our availability - rather Hubby's availability limited to a few hours even over the weekends, times have been hectic.

We finally got the wardrobes done for our home over the past 2 weeks, real big thanks to Sangi who gave me the contact for the carpenter. (See, what a great advantage blogging is? been telling this to the hubby for over 2 weeks now :-P ) He seems to have done a decent job, only time will tell about the quality now though... Since we were away the whole week - we hardly got a chance to see what and how they got the whole thing completed and the final assembly HAD to happen last saturday, 1st - my Birthday. So the whole day went with 10 men coming and going around the house and we also decided to get bathroom fittings for a room that we had left initially - finally!! And THAT was the highlight of my birthday - the much needed completion of really necessary stuff...

To give due credit to the hubby he offered to take me out for dinner, spoke to my parents to take care of the little fellow while we went out but I was so exhausted by 7.30pm that I wasnt upto getting ready, packing stuff for the little fellow and going out at 8 in the night. (yeah, sometimes I wonder how old I've gotten that 8 seems late to me!!) so a quiet Pizza dinner was had after putting the little fellow to sleep. Peaceful...

And then the festivities - with all the carpentry work, the little fellow has fallen ill with bad congestion and throat infection,inflamed tonsils and all. And the icing on the cake? Hubby's most awaited project release is happening this week until 10th - monday. *sigh* I think This is what is called *Chappar Phad Ke*? and he had to go to work even yesterday - Vijayadashami. So away, the little fellow and me were packed off to Mom's house, which was a blessing *ofcourse!* while cousins and aunts visited, Chuktu despite his high fever opted to run around and entertain everyone... Yummy pulao and gulab jamoons (dont ask how many-including hubby's share!) were had taking advatange of the fact that Chutku prefered his Ammamma and Thaatha to put him to sleep,rock him,feed him - basically everything. Now this is what I would call a better Bday celebration :-) (Yes, it was my star Bday yest)

So, what do I look forward to this year? - Definitely better health all around for all of us. Better work/life balance for both hubby and me (Awaiting some good news on the work front which will hopefully ease some stress) and the BESTEST - My parents shifting with me. Yippeeeee!Thats what all these couple of weeks have been about - preparing the house for my parents shifting with us for the next 1-1.5yrs while their house gets a complete demolition/re-building :-)

There, now I go off to another hectic weekend, shifting, rearranging and adjusting - this time with my parents' stuff... Happy Weekend everyone - Keep the high spirits up! The festivities have begun!!!

Violence Against Women/ Women Against Violence - Awareness Month

2011-10-04T14:58:00.000+05:30

Remember the CSA initiative in April? Now the same core team has come up with another very valuable initiative to spread awareness on Violence against Women.

Here's what they have to say on the initiative:

We are cognizant with the fact the subject on violence against woman is very huge and includes multiple aspects. To ensure that this awareness campaign is effective, we have limited our scope to the following aspects….

1. Domestic violence – Physical violence against the woman by husband/partner and other family members

2. Violence against girl child including deprivation

3. Sexual violence - including marital rape, date rape

4. Emotional/psychological abuse

5. Dowry related violence including Bride Burning

6. Female Infanticide

7. Acid attacks

We, the core team, would be delighted to have your support for VAWM Oct 2011. The plan is similar to CSA April 2011. We have a blog (www.vawawareness.wordpress.com) on Violence Against Women where we invite guest posts, expert posts and anon survivor stories. We also would urge bloggers to post on this topic on the blog all through October, first announcing the awareness campaign and second, posting on any aspect of this topic they feel strongly about. We also have a twitter handle (@VAWMonth) which will tweet information about VAWA and invite experts, NGOs, counsellors, etc to take questions.

Do let us know if you would be interested in participating, and how would you like to participate. Also, if you have any leads to NGOs or organisations you think we should partner with do let us know.

The email to write in to is vawawareness@gmail.com.

So, go on, spread the message, give your feedbacks,contribute... Lets help spread the awareness and do our tiny squirrel's bit...

Amma Mane

2011-09-27T10:20:00.000+05:30

What is it about the cliche'd Mother's house for every married woman? In all the 6years of marriage I hardly stayed over at Mom's house despite being in the same city - or because it was in the same city? Apart from the customary First Diwali I only used to go there to visit for a couple hours and then it used to be back home (to the in-laws) The first time after 4+ yrs of marriage I went to stay there a week before my delivery date even then because the hospital was closer. Then again the 3 months post delivery. And I never missed it much either. I knew I could always go when ever I had the urge to, could pick up the phone and talk to my parents whenever I wanted to...

Now that we've moved to our own home over the last 1 year its got increasingly difficult to even visit over the weekends. Sometimes they come over or we drop in on the way to somewhere else - very rarely, like most friends I know, do we go and stay overnight...

But, last night was different. Carpenters at home and the house smells strongly of paint/ kerosene/ laminate gum and a lot of fine wood dust. And within minutes of entering home in the evening my throat began to itch. And hubby was worried about Chutku too... So, on the spur of the moment, called Mom, told her (never ask - thats another thing) we will be spending the night there, packed stuff for today and left in 1/2 hour...

And the moment we entered home I felt light - yes light! like I didnt have to worry about anything now. I was safe. With all good intentions I told mom that I will heat the milk for the night feed/feed him dinner/ wash the dabbas for today - do everything so she doesnt have to really do much and then just sat down on the cane jhula talking to Dad until 9pm. By then chutku's dinner was ready and fed/our dinner was set on the table/his bottle boiled and milk heated/ bed ready to sleep in.... And I was still procastinating. Come morning the Dabbas were washed and food ready to be packed. Only that she did not know what goes into what box - so she had left it as is...

Now what is it that the sight of Mom and the house makes me put my feet up like before. At home I know I would be running around getting things done and I could've very well done the same there too, but I didnt... I became that girl again who could put her feet up and laze around,watch TV and expect dinner to be served, who could just let things lie around everywhere and expect to find them at their right place the next day - Is this what the other women talk about - Amma Mane?

And Im looking forward to the same laziness tonight too :-D

Mommy Guilt

2011-09-26T11:30:00.000+05:30

The Bride tagged me to write about Mommy guilt:

1.Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children… been a wee bit selfish.

2.How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?

3.Tag 2 more moms

The maximum I've ever felt guilty was initially when he was born and had really bad bouts of colic for 3 full months and most everyone I knew told me it was because I didnt eat/rest/take care properly during pregnancy - those were the worst mommy guilt moments for me - seeing him howl in pain and not knowing how to help/or when no medicine,warm water bath worked... Now that, that phase is over there isnt much I worry about except maybe:

1. My Work - The first 6 months after Chutku that I stayed at home drove me crazy. Crazy because I had no adult company and was all the time feeding/cleaning/putting him to sleep routine. And I decided no matter what Im going back to work. So leaving him in the day-care was no option.
On a regular day I dont feel guilty leaving him at the day care. I've mentioned here before that he's being taken good care of and he is comfortable too. So there are times when hubby and I go out for lunch - we even took the day off on our anniversary, left him at the day care and watched 2 movies - ensuring we had some time together without upsetting anyone's routines either. And there was no guilt.
But, on days he is unwell, has a bad nappy rash or just has a clingy day (especially monday mornings) - those are moments when I feel guilty. Sometimes I peep from the door without going inside lest he should cry on seeing me and I see him playing all by himself, roaming behind his care taker when no one's talking to him - those moments are when I feel the pinch.

2. With hubby's hectic work schedules I come home alone with him - the responsiblity of feeding him dinner and completing the night routine, putting him to sleep fall completely on me. And there are days when Im not feeling too well and I just want to sleep or watch some good TV, something on my mind that I want to blog, read and he choses those days to not sleep early! He's cranky with sleep but refuses to stop playing and wants to be all over me. Invariably I end up screaming at him and put him on my lap to pat him to sleep and I admit I can be a little rough too at times because it takes all my energy to put the squirmy bundle on my lap! And that is when I feel guilty - guilty of being unable to control my emotion/stress/temper for a few more mins when all he wants is to stick to me because he hasnt got enough of me for the day...

I understand too that these are all temporary and unavoidable at times.Im still learning to control my temper and have been quite successful too... so at the end of the day its not too much guilt that I carry to bed with me!

OK, now who do I tag:

LF - to know what she feels about Chucky and Seemahttp://seemabbas.blogspot.com/ - what with twins!

Come on ladies - do the tag and let us know...

Jumbalika Tales

2011-09-21T15:30:00.000+05:30

Heard that song from Takshak - Jumbalika Jumbalika... well that's the latest music running on my mobile right now. Why? Because Chutku wants it - thats why... One evening on the way back home in the bus he got very cranky and to distract him I began to shake his hands and sing this song because these were the words that first struck as some junk words... And then I made him listen to the song on Hubby's mobile (dont ask me how he had this song!). We got stuck... Now as the little mind fancies we need to play this song- he moves his hands rapidly and says 'Jummmaaaaaaaa' and I HAVE to play it no matter where we are...

He's getting a huge grasp on picking up words now. We've been teaching him all our names and he very cutely slaughters it! Ask him what is Amma's name: Thampi :-O Whaaa? Only the besotted grandparents are able to find some similarity here! Ask: What does Amma call you: Chuttttuuuuu, What does Appa call you: Gunnnnnnnnnaaaa (Guess what this is?) His Appa's name is atleast pronounced a little better and the best of all is the way he calls his Ammamma...

And he know how to express what he wants - emphatically. The other evening after I fed him dinner I was running around getting all jobs completed while he was so sleepy he was just sitting down on themattress spread on the floor half watching the rhymes cartoon I had put. Generally I just sit down with him,play with him until he goes to sleep and then get all the work done so he kept calling me Amma Baa, Amma Baa (come). I kept saying I will come.For about a couple of mins he waited and then he called me "Thampiiiiiii", I went to him and said "Aye, why are you calling me Thampi".He gives me this sheepish smile and says "Thampiiii,Tham,thith" (Come,sit) and patted the mattress next to him. Just to see what he would do I went and sat where he pointed. And the next second he says "Thanthooo" and sleeps on my lap. I was so overwhelmed and happy that he is learning the right words and he wanted me to be there while he slept :-D

Numbers,rhymes and alphabets is so much fun!

Chubby cheeks, dimple chin...Amma's pet....yech, yech,yech.... :-D - see its so easy to get to the last...
Oot koch bunch,Ooh koch bunch, thethlathaehelaheneheoalala, Oot koch bunch - end of story!

thon,thoo,thee,thou,thai,thich,thenen,..,nine, bigthathen....

At the end of it depending on my mood Im either ROTFL or tearing my hair out of frustration trying to correct him :-P

He lines up all his chotu cars and calls me to show - Amma,thoo,theee caaaa......ddrrrrrrroooooommmmmmmm....

Leaving you with the before and after pics of the haircut...

My own Shankarachari

Right after hair cut

See the 2 juttus? - Before the hair cut

Ready to go biking already!

Busy reading Appa's Perry Mason

Happy going to school?

2011-09-15T12:38:00.000+05:30

I wrote about the current confusion of choosing a school for Chutku and I got some wonderful responses. Very very informative and useful. Thanks to both Sangi and RM for making some of my resolves stronger and also making me think some more - Sangi's comment on peer pressure on the parents (I didn't give that a thought at all!) and talking to the teachers if possible before putting the child in the school. RM's comment on not comparing the children...Do read these 2 posts...

Both of them mentioned something either in their posts or as comments - As long as the child is happy going to school I might not have to worry...

Let me first give my own example - I studied until 1st std in a local school hardly 5mins walk from home. Granny used to pick me up from school everyday and I also knew the way back home. Then one day Dad realised that the complete syllabus was not being covered and most of the activities in the text books were left undone. That made him feel that in the long run its going to affect all my exams - especially when I have to give any board exams. His thinking of if they cannot cover lessons in class 1 how will they do it in class 7/10? So he decided to change my school - a well known convent about 8-9kms away from home,more expensive, had bus facility,good play grounds, good teachers (he had colleagues children going there).I had my entrance exam, did pretty well and was given admission to class 2.
I HATED the school. To begin with I had no friends. All friend 'groups' had already been formed and I was an outcast. For an extrovert like me - I had no one to talk to. To begin with I had to walk to the bust stop about 10mins from home(Dad/Mom used to drop me), get into the school bus with all seniors - and I didn't know the way back home from school and that used to freak me out - what if I miss the school bus someday? I used to run blindly to my bus as soon as the last bell rang and only then the knot in my stomach would release. No one to talk to in school, no one to eat the food with, walk back home in the afternoon with a friend and her elder sister (real sweet and caring). And today Im surprised when I look back and realise that those groups were made based on the monetary level of the parents - do you come to school by car? What car does your father drive? Oh! You father doesn't own a car etc etc; And I never fit in. Though I did really well academically, I used to come home crying most days. I believe Mom noticed that I had become quieter, used to cry for no reason and didn't like going to school at all...
Then for class 4 Mom/Granny convinced Dad to change my school again to a one closer home, showed me the way to school (about 20mins walk from home), and it being a new school all the kids were new too - so I had a chance to make friends with everyone and then I just became myself again. Not that I topped the school or anything but I used to always be one in t op 5 and that seemed to be enough for Mom.

Why did I write all this - This experience of mine has left me very wary of Big schools, school far from home... I wonder what guarantee is there that the teachers will be kind and good? Even if they are - what if there are class barriers of money when my son wants to make friends - yes - being a part of a group is very important to any child. Just being a topper will not make him a good human being, will not teach him public interaction nor will it give him exposure to good and bad behaviour/manners and such...

Also, I realised much later that I would be scared - scared that 1 day if the class extended by 5mins I will miss my bus and get lost - not know how to go back home. I don't want Chuktu to go through the same fear. Insecurity and fear of not knowing how to go back home... Hence my reluctance in terms of distance.

Since groups were already established - there were sports groups,extra curricular groups and academic groups and no one wanted me there - so I began to lose confidence in myself. That is a big factor to the child's growth - isn't it?

And I know my Dad wanted the best for me. He had done his research - I remember him coming to school and talking to the principal, I remember the first day they took me to the school and how I played in the play area and liked it, I attribute my knowledge in English language to that school, it still remains a pretty good school winning competitions, good curriculum and extra curricular activities - everything that as parents anyone would look for. But my reluctance was enough for my parents to understand that the school was not for me. Because I was not happy...

And I'm trying to avoid the same mistake. Can I hit the jackpot the first time? - so my child gets everything he needs and is happy going to school...Because like all the other Moms I hear from - I completely agree - the most important factor - no matter what else - my child needs to be happy going to school...

PS: Yes, I remember all these things - though not most other happy stuff that happened even much later because these are not very pleasant memories for me - you can never forget the bad days - can you?

Yaay, I won a Blog Contest

2011-09-14T10:41:00.000+05:30

Organised by Ashreya and here's my entry for it on what Blogging means to me... That was one heartfelt post from me that didnt actually involve much thinking! So Thanks Ashreya Mom!! :-D Muuaah! Thank you!

Now this gives me confidence to participate in others too!!!

Education, Childhood,Exposure to latest trends...

2011-09-13T16:08:00.002+05:30

Over the past couple of months I have been thinking about play school and school for Chutku and having conversations with lots of collegues about which school, what to look out for etc etc; And sometimes I feel the needs I have from a school is not sufficient when I hear from the other parents. Or am I outdated?

Sometime back I was talking to a collegue who proudly said that she had admitted her 3 yr old daughter to pre-school in a really big school which was a long distance from her home. The travel time itself was around an hour. So I asked her if the poor child wouldnt get tired of the travel itself and how she can always change the school at a later date... So her response was she was shelling out a cool 1lakh for the child's admission (donation) and the annual school fees was about 30K at that point in time which was subject to change year on year and admitting the child in pre-nursery itself gets them some discount(?!) too. And why so expensive - Because they teach everything there - yoga,karate,skating,swimming and guess what - even horse riding itseems!!

And a college friend of mine who had come to Chutku's 1st Bday party also commented the same "Hey RS, start saving for his school admission from now only..." All these got me thinking and thinking real hard.

Personally, I would put Chutku is a school that is closer home, even if it is a smaller school with lesser number of children to ensure individual attention. Also, closer home means lesser travel time and more time to do other things. For me, other things would be playing on the streets in the evenings like I used to and after a couple of years or whenever he shows any interest - an hour of some hobby class... I wouldnt care for the swimming/karate/skating lessons, I would rather have PT classes or SUPW (Socially Useful Productive Work) or Art classes for the kids like we did where the kids got to just relax and play - play in the grounds, run around or just learn to use their little fingers... Im not even going to mention horse riding here - I really find that ridiculous in Bangalore.And its definitely not about the money either. What matters to me is my child is learning something in the school, is happy to go to school, making friends and participating in other activities. Extra curricular for me means the elocutions/debates/essay writing/singing/drama/Painting competitions that we had and I always participated in. Even Band Set and March Past for that matter! Do they even have a bandset in schools these days? *Mental note to check* As for the other activities - There is always summer vacations and hobby classes - for which I would definitely encourage him if he shows the least bit interest and yes, the onus is on us parents to expose him to all these things and let him decide. Also, in such a discussion like a cousin pointed out - having these activities in school releaves the parents from taking time off their busy schedules to ferry the kids to these classes, but at this point in time I think Im ready to do it. I admit I might end up eating my own words later, though!

*Digress - I used to be an active member of the bandset and played the flute for about 5 yrs - from 4th std to 8th std and then the Cymbol for the last 2 yrs in school. And I remember my Band Master and PT master making me do the marchpast in the school grounds to show everyone else how it is done!! Also, since the marchpast music NEEDED cymbol - there have been days when bandset practice was cancelled because I was on leave.I also used to really enjoy the zilla and district level competitions we used to attend for these. *End Digression.

So you all tell me:

Am I still behind the curve in giving more proirity to the proximity of the school to home/day care?
Am I wrong in thinking that swimming/karate/skating lessons are all not really that important when I search for a school?
Will I be depriving my child if I dont really insist that he needs to go to all these classes even if he is not interested?
Will I become a negligent Mom if I insist that my child go out and play in the evenings after school instead of tutions and running around from one hobby class to another? If he is interested in anything then thats a different matter but I would still say that he has to have some play time...
Will my child become an under achiever if I dont push him to all these things?
Will he be laughed at by his friends (Peer pressure) because his parents are OK if he is not a topper in class all the time or he is not pushed off to some class or the other? (Im just hoping him to be an average student and I will be ok with it I think)
Im not even talking about the quality of teachers here because no matter how much you pay and where you go - there will always be good/bad/average/strict/favourite teacher... And that again depends on the student/teacher relationship that will build on its own I think...*Digress here - I used to be very fond of my kannada teacher though everyone else thought she was strict.And our Neela Ma'am who was our english teacher was loved by one and all*

Would love to know what you all Mommy's (Non-Mommys too) think/feel about this - what would your preferences for your Child's school be?

Edited to add on 15th Sep:
In response to Sangi's and RM's post: http://rushmechatter.blogspot.com/2011/09/happy-going-to-school.html

SPB Concert, Family and Thothla Ram's latest...

2011-09-12T12:27:00.001+05:30

Time's literally flying... Sometimes I am still recollecting the New Year party we hosted at the beginning of the year and we are almost 3/4th of the year completed now... sigh...

And can anyone tell me where the weekend flies? It was still saturday morning when I was getting things done around the house with Chutku tagging along and the next thing I know is Hubby's home early from work and begins making lofty plans of inviting people for dinner and going for a late night movie - He was so excited to see that he had the next 1.5 days free for himself :-)

And then I remembered that there was a SP Balasubrahmaniam's concert very close the Mom's house which I wanted to go,so for the 7pm show we decided to go at 5 and then stay back at Mom's house for the Satyanarayana Pooja on sunday. In a matter of 1hr I packed for all 3 of us/put clothes for washing/put them for drying/cleaned up the kitchen and off we were by 6.15... Dropped the little fellow at Mom's and then went to see the SPB show by 7.30 by which time the show had started. Was quite impressed by the arrangements and the stage, ate junk (including Cotton Candy with my niece :-) ) at the Karnataka food festival counter by Adigas, listened to some lovely Kannada songs by SPB (Actually he seemed to have lost some weight) and was amazed at the quality of his voice even at this age. The fun part - It began to rain and we walked back to the car in the rain along with Hubby's cousin's family and decided to eat Masala Puri on the road side - so standing in the rain - we had yummy masala puri's,bhel puri and Pani Puri. Felt young after a really long time on saturday night!

Sunday was a family day with all cousins gathered at mom's and full masti was had. The centre of attraction was ofcourse Chutku who kept everyone amused and entertained through the day. He took an instant liking to my Maama and was stuck to him like glue - making him run around on jelly and sand, including making him play Ninda,Ninda, Nochech (guess what this is?) - the 60 year old man was acting as much like Chutku himself and I guess my Atthe would've had to maalish his legs yesterday night! Chutku had full masti and was preening with all the attention he was getting. Eating and food went for a total toss...

The little fellow is picking up words faster than I can imagine and Im now a happy mom - there have been days when I used to worry about his vocabulary but these days... He has taken to saying 'No' for everything. Infact its a fame with him - Chutku Apple - "No Amma", Banana - "No Amma", Appacchi - "No Amma" - it goes on and on...And he took it a level higher yest evening - was trying to wear my cousin's pretty sandals and walk around and while Hubby said "No Chutku, keep it back" - he turned, looked up at his Dad, pointed his finger and said "No, Appa", picked up both the sandals and ran into the last room and began wearing it there!!! Everyone of us there just stood there with dropped jaws...

Every word he says has to have a 'Tha' - Thanatha (Kannadaka - Specs), thoyye (SoLLe - Mosquito), Thaach (watch), Thappi (Chappali - sandals) I cant recollect the rest now; and its FUN listening to him say the rhymes - Those words he doesnt know in a rhyme will be replaced with 'Nannanaa,thahththta...'!!!

Lesson learnt for this weekend (Borrowed from RM) - Make time to do your own thing and balance it with family too - ensures a good,happy weekend (though maybe not relaxed!)

Denise the Menace and 90s songs...

2011-09-05T10:52:00.001+05:30

Confused with the title? Well thats what this weekend was all about...

After a long time Chutku and I spent the weekend at our own home! With my parents away in Shirdi and my In-Laws for a weekend outing with friends - we werent expecting anyone home and had no where to go either! so what did we do - we slept and we slept and we listened to lovely 90s songs (Oh! remind me to put those links) and danced to it too :-) In between we managed to clean the kitchen/change bedsheets and all other sundry weekend tasks also got done in no hurry - No Hurry - that was the catch word for the weekend...

And why only chutku and I? Chutku's Dad was away at work - his project release having been postponed by 1 more week :-( God! Im looking forward to his release more than him I think! 3 months now without a weekend and long 12 hr days...

And all the menaces that the little Denise did:

Started with breaking my specs into 2 halves resulting in me going naked eye for 2 whole days :-( Yet to get my new frame and am temporarily wearing disposable lens today and squinting making, everyone in the office ask what happened!

Then he pulled the bed side drawer so hard that the entire drawer and the contents all collapsed - on his little finger which resulted in howling one can only imagine!

Again on saturday evening he fell flat on his face and has a nice blue bruise on that flat nose - playing in front of the house - what rain and cemented slope in front of the house gate can do...

He has discovered sketch pens! And we have a new artist and drawings on the dining room walls, I tried hiding one with a chair but now a new one has come up thats right next to the utility door and I can do nothing about it. That was what he was searching for (after I hid it) in the drawer that fell on his finger...

Have you ever seen a young boy fascinated with bangles? Im tired of hiding it from him - he somehow figures it out and all my bangles get strewn all around the house.Thankfully they are metal bangles - but they are all new - ones I bought for the wedding recently :-( I need to desperately alter the contents of every drawer in the room...

And finally - to make him true to his name, we got him a hair cut yesterday evening - the entire Unisex parlor stopped functioning and was watching the proceedings - Imagine hubby actually sitting on the chair and holding him, me holding the little hands and head and Chutku screaming pleadingly "Ammaaaa, aaaammmmmaaaaaa" while the young hair dresser was sweating profusely to cut the 4 and 20 hair on the little fellows head - so finally - my Baby became a Boy yesterday and Im still wiping my tears... And he looks JUST like Denise the Menace including the cowlick that stands on top of the head!!

******************************************************************************

Listening to all nice 90s songs - taht started with my SIL sending me the link on youtube for the Superhit Muquabla and Top 10 songs. And I was selecting songs on Dishant.com collections to listen to all the 90s songs yesterday - Raah mein unse, Sambhala Hai maine, Chehra Kya Dekh te ho, Chaaha Toh Bahot, Is tarah aashiqui ka asar chod jaaoonga, Jhanjhariya - memories anyone?

And then today morning on Radio heard this: Ghar Se Nikalthe Hi... instant smiles to make the day and a sudden realisation that this song/movie was released in 1996?!! WTH?? :-O 15 years ago - whaaaaa???? F.i.f.t.e.e.n years - hubby says " Man! I feel so old"

What blogging means to me...

2011-09-04T08:40:00.001+05:30

Ashreya is running an anniversary contest and the best part is the subject of contest! Everytime hubby says you are hooked to blogging these days I give it a split second thought "why" and then let it go. So this gave me a chance to really think about why blogging is so important to me.

I got persuaded and then pressured to start blogging by my friend Sanju who first shared all the blogs she visits. And then I began my own journey - I got hooked on to MadMomma first and from there to many other wonderful bloggers.

This is the biggest advantage of blogging - It gives me exposure to a lot of topics and opinions that I would not otherwise even think about. I get to read about the places they visit, about The Slut Walk, the Children woes, books,music and movies,Anna Hazare, La Tomatina in Bangalore - So many topics covered with so much information on them - I might not even have looked at them in the news paper! So blogging has broadened my horizons. It gives me the begining and then I read up on any thing that I want to know more about.

Then I realise I can put in my own thoughts without having to justify them - to anyone. And that builds my confidence. Many times I put something here and then when there is a similar topic of discussion in the family - It gives me confidence to speak up. Where otherwise I would rather have kept quiet - unsure of my own thoughts.

Everytime I put something here - sometimes it would still be unclear in the head but when I start writing the post - it gives me clarity of thought. And I enjoy reading the comments - sometimes a reader puts across something that I would have wanted to express but lost for words.

And I can get opinions and suggestions here - varied and unjudgemental on any topic. Even on how what saree I should wear for a reception! Its the personal touch - When Chutku was suffering from Colic and I was ready to do anything - I had on an impulse mailed MM. And the next day I had a response on what I can do to ease his pain. And I was so overwhelmed. Someone who doesny know me but understood my worries and responded to a random mail! And couple of times when Sangi replied with stores for curtain shopping and her prompt responses to my query on the carpenter...All these make blogging not just connection on the www but also in real life!

Oh! And I didnt mention the inspiration! Be it the design blogs like Colours Decor, some new dish cooked at home,Moms like RM, LF for all the effort they put for their cooking and weekend outings - Makes me want to do them all too!!

And finally some better acquaintances - People who would know me for what I am and would want to keep in touch not because I am someone's wife/Mother/daugher - but for the person I am. Those who read me because they want to! :-) No pressure there! That gives me pleasure. And that would also be the next step - to really be able to meet all these wonderful bloggers and make friends with them - like so many of them already are. That would be the best takeaway from blogging for me...

So - all you mommy bloggers who come here (even ocassionally!) do consider me next time for a get-together!!! - There I said it - shamelessly...

On Festivals

2011-09-02T11:19:00.000+05:30

MM wrote this post of festivals and I realised while reading the comments that there were so many things I wanted to add myself. I did too but then there was more so here goes.

There are so many small festivities in Karnataka we celebrate apart from Sankranthi (Pongal), Ugadi,Ganesh Chaturthi and Deepavali.

Bheemana amavasya - It falls on the amavasya day - beginning of ShravaNa month. It is a pooja for Lord Shiva who is the God of Death for the long life of the husband/wouldbe husband. But I've also heard people tell that it is a prayer that Goddess Parvati did to get her dream husband (ie; Shiva) and so all unmarried girls do this pooja to get a good husband! It is similar to Karva Chaut in the only way that it is a prayer for husband's long life but contrary to KC - there is no seeing the moon (its Amavasya!) and no fasting :-) Infact goodies are made as Naivedya to the God... Oh! And then if you have a brother he breaks a small piggy bank made of flour which will contain some small change though I dont know the significance of this.

Naga Panchami - This is a worship to the Snake gods to keep the brothers in the family healthy and happy. We offer steamed kadabu (modak) and milk to the God as offering that day.Generally the sisters gift something to the brothers on this day. And oh! We also dab a little milk and ghee on the stomach and back of the brother - a symbol of bathing in milk and ghee to wish him good health and wealth! It used to be fun as Bro would always scream that it was cold :-D

Varalakshmi vrata - Pooja to the goddess Lakshmi similar to what is performed during Diwali. A saree is draped and the face of the Goddess is dressed up with false hair/bindi/ hands are made rolled out of blouse pieces and bangles are put around them and ofcourse OBBaTTu is the sweet (similar to Pooran PoLi).

MangaLa Gauri Vrata - Not sure how many people would have even heard of this - Done by newly married women for the first 5 years of their marraige for a happy married life on 4/5 tuesdays of theShravaNa month.

Swarna Gauri Vrata/Ganesh Charuthi - The story goes that Gauri along with her son Ganesh comes to the mother's house for a holiday :-) And Ganga is their mode of transportation. So we first do pooja to Ganga ( a well in Mom's house) and then bring them in. Do the Gauri pooja and Ganesh pooja and then Visarjan when we send them back to their abode - again through Ganga :-) A point to be noted is that we send some food (generally sweetened/curd poha) for their onward journey. Also, the day after the Visarjan we still prepare goodies and special food because another story goes that Lord Shiva, after listening to GAuri and Ganesh about all the yummy food they ate, festivities they had - decides to see for himself what all the furore is. And he is the Son-In-Law - so he also has to be treated well too! Listening to all these stories makes them one of us - isnt it? And so bro and me always enjoyed this festival the most. Oh! And we give 'baagina ' to the ladies which includes all types of Dal/Rice/Jaggery and fruits along with the usual Haldi/kumkum.

Navaraatri - Bombe Habba as it is called. It is more famously called Gollu in Andhra/Tamil Naadu but mostly pooja is done to the various Goddesses for the 9 days including the Pattada Bombe - wooden Man and Woman toy that is given during one's wedding and dressed in finery. It is considered as Lakshmi Venkateshwara. Also, on the Durga ashtami day haldi kumkum is given to Kanya Muthiade - Pre pubescent girls. And its so much fun to watch it.

Oh and I shouldnt forget to add this - All Vrata's have a symbol of tying a yellow thread around the writst to indicate that one has successfully done the pooja. If the husband is present the thread is generally tied by him :-)

Another point to note is unlike in North India where most of the poojas insist that one has to starve, in the south we generally have a feast for all the festivities :-) which adds to more fun.

Puttu Krishna

2011-08-29T16:34:00.000+05:30

For RM and LF who asked for the pictures...

I Support Anna Hazare

2011-08-24T15:02:00.000+05:30

We had a Human chain today from Sarjapur junction to ITPL to express solidarity for the Jan Lokpal Bill from the 'IT Community'. Im not sure how much of all this bill being passed is actually going to trickle down to lower levels of Goverment Officials - when it comes to Passport offices, Govt offices etc; I dont even want to get into the amount of bribery that happens in BWSSB,BBMP and such offices for really small work! So, will this bill really be helpful to us - we can only hope atleast in the long run - where we have a common body where we can atleast complain and some action will be taken upon our complaints... Hope For the Best.

Yes, most everyone I know are cynics - they did not want to join in the chain and neither did they support the bill! According to them - 1 person not joining in is not going to make a difference! As for me - I believe in 'Little Drops of Water makes a mighty ocean" - When we crib about nothing being done, sitting inside AC offices and cribbing about the amount of money we had to pay for a passport renewal - why cant we oppose it? Isnt that what all this expressing solidarity all about? when we dont want to even stand in the sun(Its a cloudy day today,by the way) for 1/2 hr how can we expect any changes to happen?

Leaving you with the mail that was sent to us:

PS: FEW DETAILS ABOUT ANNA HAZARE AND JANLOKPAL BILL

See how Lokpal Bill can curb the politicians, Circulate it to create awareness:

Dear All,

Please go through the details carefully & try to be part of this mission against corruption. Things to know about Anna Hazare and Lok pal Bill:

1. Who is Anna Hazare?

An ex-army man(Unmarried). Fought 1965 Indo-Pak War.

2. What's so special about him?

He built a village Ralegaon Siddhi in Ahamad Nagar district, Maharashtra

3. This village is a self-sustained model village. Energy is produced in the village itself from solar power, biofuel and wind mills. In 1975, it used to be a poverty clad village. Now it is one of the richest village in India. It has become a model for self-sustained, eco-friendly & harmonic village.

4. This guy, Anna Hazare was awarded Padma Bhushan and is a known figure for his social activities.

5. He is supporting a cause, the amendment of a law to curb corruption in India.

6. How that can be possible?

He is advocating for a Bill, The Lok Pal Bill (The Citizen Ombudsman Bill), that will form an autonomous authority who will make politicians (ministers), bureaucrats (IAS/IPS) accountable for their deeds.

7. It's an entirely new thing right..?

In 1972, the bill was proposed by then Law minister Mr. Shanti Bhushan. Since then it has been neglected by the politicians and some are trying to change the bill to suit their theft(corruption).

8. Oh.. He is going on a hunger strike for that whole thing of passing a Bill ! How can that be possible in such a short span of time? The first thing he is asking for is: the govt should come forward and announce that the bill is going to be passed. Next, they make a joint committee to DRAFT the LOK PAL BILL. 50% government participation and 50% public participation. Bcoz u can't trust the govt entirely for making such a bill which does not suit them.

9. What will happen when this bill is passed?

A LokPal will be appointed at the centre. He will have an autonomous charge, say like the Election Commission of India. In each and every state, Lokayukta will be appointed. The job is to bring all alleged party to trial in case of corruptions within 1 year. Within 2 years, the guilty will be punished. Pass this on n show ur support..

The Government has put condition to get 25 crore people to support JanLokPal. To give your support call 02261550789 (as given by Kiran Bedi) from your mobile no. Your Call will disconnect after 1 ring and your no registered automatically. You will get an SMS confirming this. Do it along to all your friends. Forward to as many people as you know .. verbally, by mails, by messages. Support Anti-corruption campaign lead by Anna Hazare ...

The past 1 week

2011-08-23T14:52:00.000+05:30

I shall begin from 14th - Saturday when the actual preparation for cousin's wedding began -I mean for me! Lots of activities had been happening over the past 3 months while we were getting updates on the phone we never did get involved completely (which Im still regretting) due to time constraints.

You wont believe that I got Rs.10000 worth voucher for a high end parlor/spa here - something like a scratch card and that too 2 of them! So, I asked my co-sister (more friend) to join me for the parlor session before the wedding. And the entire day 14th was spent there! The head massage was awesome but the back and foot massage was nothing to speak of :-( Didnt really get any relief. And I realised that no matter what I can never really relax with goop on my face or during the massage which effectively negates all the good things the facial is supposed to do to you. Im always uncomfortable and cold! So, no matter what everyone advocates - a full body massage is out of question for me!!

Hubby had finally got the evening free and had booked for ZNMD - and I LOVED it. Havent laughed in a movie so much in ages! Thoroughly enjoyed it. Must watch, must watch.My one dream of learning to ride a bike was rekindled after seeing Katrina Kaif.

MIL's sister is visiting from the US and since all sisters wanted to meet at 1 place. I had invited 5 sisters for lunch on the 15th. And it was so stressful - not because of them - they are all sweethearts and loved the simple bisibele bhaat, papad, jamoon,rice, rasam and curd rice menu but because of Chutku - he had some insect bite and had his entire left eye swollen shut. He was in a very cranky mood and was non-stop crying the whole morning which meant that hubby couldnt help me a single bit. And the cook who came at 7am said she had to leave by 7.30 didnt finish anything to take her kids to Aug 15th celebrations in the school!! So, it was just me again. And did I mention that the maid has quit too?!!

Evening we had an invite at an ex-collegue, more friend's house for what he calls high-tea. So, we first went to the hospital, got medicine for Chutku and then went to friends house for a lovely tea with Samosa,cutlet,sandwich and kheer! Yuuummmmmmyyyyy. We knew he is a good cook but wife's amazing too! Wish my hubby took so much interest in cooking :-( And since we had already g iven 1 dose of medicine to the little fellow he was quite comfortable and was playing around - all's well that ends well!

17th and 18th - full wedding running around - playing dress-up and acting busy! 1 thing that I have to mention here that we managed to video chat through skype with all the cousins settled in US/UK and show them the festivities, made them talk to the elders and in-all somehow got them to participate in the wedding! :-) That was a first time for us and we enjoyed thoroughly...

21st - Final lunch hosted by us - the grooms side and we had amazing games organised. And dressed up Chutku like Krishna (thankfully by 17th the swelling on his eye had reduced and he was feeling much better) as it was Janmashtami and had yummy food again. I must;ve put on a couple of Kgs of weight with all those Ras Malais and Jamoons and pheNis...

And its so borrriiinnnngg to get back to work today that Im still missing all those activities and recollecting the food.Sigh! And this is the last of the weddings of couins for a long time to come...

What I wore - The look

2011-08-23T13:34:00.000+05:30

So many things have happened over the last 1 week that I have written atleast 5 posts in my head but havent had the time to put them here. Before I give all the updates - here's the saree I wore for the reception - "Bombay style" the beautician called it. It was so different and comfortable that I loved it. And I had everyone asking me how she draped it - though I still have no clue. All that I can say is there were 6 safety pins in strategic positions *ahem* to keep the saree in place even while I handled the little squirmy fellow. AND I still think that its making me look fat. And the makeup that I had done myself, though I dont know how bhootni I looked - gave me rashes by the end of the evening.That was when I realised that my products were all about 6yrs old when I bought them for my own wedding which was lying around unused. So, the next day it all went to the dustbin with no second thoughts.So, Im back to being me - plain jane :-) Now you all tell me how this looks... After all the questions I asked...

What do I wear?

2011-08-15T07:33:00.000+05:30

Straight to the point - I have a first cousin wedding to attend and Im not able to decide which one to wear - So all you fashionistas help me pleaaassseee??? Tell me which one to wear for an evening reception?

The first one is a raw silk saree with thread work border and pallu and sits pretty stiff while the second one is a brocade silk and like hubby says its a little 'jing-chack'.

So what do y'all think?Let me know soon.The reception is on thursday!!

A peek into my Purse

2011-08-12T12:46:00.000+05:30

RM (as usual) made me think of something that I never though about! Contents of my bag.

Its been years since I just carry a wallet anywhere. And now after Chutku there is just no space in a wallet for everything that I need to keep! So on any given day a peek into my purse looks like this:

 A packet of tissues

 A couple of hankys
 My homeo medicine for cold/throat ache
 My eye drops for dry eyes
 Hand Sanitizer.
Chutku’s nasal drops
Chutku’s sippy cup for water.
Some small toy for him to play in the bus – cars, finger puppets
 Biscuits/chocolates
 Bindi packet,Comb, Clips and rubber bands
Sometimes Kajal pencil and lipstick – or compact incase I need to go anywhere after office.
 Sanitary napkin
 Spectacle case.

Wallet (of course) – which in turn has my debit and credit cards, some change, a couple of my Pasport size photos, multiple receipts and visiting cards.

Some extra cash in another pouch – Which I ALWAYS run out of :-(

My Driver’s License (Dreams of driving some day)
House keys – These came into picture only now after we shifted home and I now realise what a big responsibility it is!
Umbrella – These days, travelling by bus with Chutku.
Occassionally a milk bottle if he hasn’t eaten anything in the evening.
Oh! Chutku’s nail cutter – yes I cut his nails in the car in the mornings when I can keep him well distracted…

And whenever anyone asks me for something – I pull out tissues/hand sanitzer for In-Laws or something to eat for Hubby – No wonder hubby calls it my magic purse – I keep pulling stuff out of it as required :-D

An uncool Mom

2011-08-09T20:46:00.000+05:30

I think Im going to become one.

I've written about Chutku's first trip to he zoo and on the way back how we went to Raman's house for Tea. Well, her house is itself fodder for a Home Decor post but I will not dwell into that here...

She has a teenage son who studies in a school close by and on the way she showed us the school and the huge mall that has opened up just a few streets away from the school. And then she said " I told him that he can aaraamse get his girlfriend here for movies and coffee".

And then today I met another friend who said his mom is very cool about his marriage and insists that he will have to find his own girl, be in a relationship and then decide if he wants to take it further!

And in both the cases I was wondering if I have become old-fashioned already. When Raman mentioned about her son my thought was - "No way! Girlfriend in school,movies and coffee in mall? - I dont think I would be happy about Chutku doing any of these" And in the second case - "No way! Love and girlfriend is fine but Im not so sure about live-in before marriage yet". Where as I think Chutku's Dad will be more acceptable of these situations more than me.

That was when I realised that maybe I AM going to be an uncool Mom. I just hope that Chutku will not see them as constraints but as some rules that needs to be implemented to help make him a better person. I think that girlfriends and movies in school is too young! And the concept of live-in has somehow never been very appealing for the only reason that it doesnt really *bind* the 2 people to make the relationship work! If you DO want to live-in you can as well get married? Hmmm? This has got me thinking...Or am I still stuck somewhere between today and 10 years in the past?

On a much lighter note - The little fellow gave me my first flower :-) And I want to record that here... He picked up a flower kept at the main door, came in search of me calling 'Amma,Amma' - bypassed his Dad who kept asking him what happened,came straight to me in the kitchen and opened his palm to reveal a jasmine flower.And that made my day on sunday :-D

Chutku's first Zoo outing

2011-08-07T08:52:00.001+05:30

The day care organised a 1 day outing to Bannerghatta national park on saturday for all the kids and their parents. And as expected some (half) of them dropped out while the other half of us enthu cutlets all geared up to take the kids.
So, instead of sleeping in on saturday - hubby left for work at 7am while I got ready to take the little fellow to the zoo.I got picked up at 10.30 and we reached there by 11.30am. Looked like the parents were more excited than the few kids who could actually walk and talk and identify the animals. By the time we took the tickets and went in it was almost 12.15 and time for kids to have their lunch and then ours, session that lasted until 1.45. Thankfully the weather was good with no sun and cool breeze, so off we went to see the animals.

The highlights:

The peacock cage had about 10peacocks and 1 of them was always preening with all its feathers spread for all the visitors - It was sooo beautiful. I wondered if anything could match the beauty of the peacock blue - so rich and vibrant -no material can even come close to that.We saw quite a few leopards and cheetahs and loads of deer. You ask Chutku what the deer was doing, he will say 'Mumm mumm' - it was eating lunch. He refused to be carried and wanted to walk by himself - which would've been great if he wanted to walk with everyone else and not run in the opposite direction, in slush (it had rained the entire previous night) and didn't want to see anything except people! So, I had to keep carrying him and putting him down and by the end of the day I had a horribly aching back.

The little fellow, I realised, is one scaredy cat! There was just 1 sad Zebra in a huge enclosure that came close to be fed - and though I was carrying Chutku he jumped and screamed and asked me to move back!
And then we saw the elephant - he hurriedly got into my arms,refused to get down and he didn't want me to go any closer either. He kept watching the trunks of the 2 elephants and every time it touched someone else also - he kept flinching! :-D It was quite amusing to see his reactions.
We then came to the birds and since he keeps finding for 'Pacchi' everyday in the sky I thought he would like it. He kept watching all the birds with wide eyes and open mouth and kept pointing them to me - it gave me so much pleasure!

By the time we started from there at 3, he was so exhausted that he slept in the hands of Ramandeep - the daycare owner in the front seat until we reached her home where we stopped for a quick coffee/tea break.
By the time I got down at my stop it was ready to pour again and I ran most of the way carrying him, home.

Once at home, I sat down with him and watched the rain pour in peace. In all it was a day well spent though I know that he wouldn't remember any of it. Unfortunately I didn't carry the camera - I knew I wouldn't be able to click any pics carrying him and his bag...So let me wait until I get some from the others before I post them here :-)

Every Whining has a silver lining...

2011-08-03T11:06:00.000+05:30

First the whining...

Things have just been hectic for over a month now with Hubby having to stay back late everyday and work weekends and I come home with Chutku by the office bus. Though I have informed the team and the manager that I would be working from 8am to 5pm and take the 5.15pm bus, the team gives me anything for review only by 4.45/5 in the evening just as I take my bag and start " You're leaving? What about my code review/doc review then?" They ask. So invariably there are "not so good vibes" going around at the work place.

As for the home front - (the lesser said the better, but I always talk more na?;-) ) So things are hectic with the maid absconding every other day, the cook spilling oil all over the stove and the floor at 6.30 in the morning and refusing to clean it up. She said she will get late for the next house and wiped all the oil with a tissue and just left! :-O I had to again wipe it all up in fear that one of us might have a nasty fall - especially the little fellow. And then last week there was some issue which needed my clarification at work and I got a call from office as soon as I reached home. The milkman hadnt come that morning and I had bought milk on the way back which needed to be put in the fridge. So, there I was with phone in 1 hand, milk packet in the other to be kept inside and within a fraction of a second Chuktu squeezed in between me and the fridge door,grabbed at a big glass full of milk and... you can imagine the kitchen floor and him. I was totally lost. I first told my manager I will call back, removed the little fellow's wet clothes, trapped him in the high chair and it took me 30mins to clean up the kitchen floor 2 times with water :-( So these are the days right now... And it all hit me like a ton of bricks a couple of days back when I get a call again from the manager (after I've updated everything to him and left) for some issue that did not really need me and then he said "You are not available". That snapped something and I felt let down - mostly by myself - wondering how is it that everyone else is able to manage their careers and homes so wonderfully when I cant handle it for even a couple of months. I always thought myself to be very strong - emotionally and mentally.

Now for the small silver linings.

# Hubby saw the effect of all this on me (I broke down on monday) and told me "Lets go on a holiday,so think about it when you feel low :-) '. Yaay! I know, I KNOW that it will be another month or so before things settle down at work for him and we can even go for a weekend. BUT I have a holiday to plan that will ease my mind AND I can look forward to some nice relaxed days. So, does anyone have any suggestions for 3 day outings from Blore which is also child friendly?

# Since last tuesday until yesterday I had conversations with 3 friends who are all having their own problems. And after talking to me they all said it made them feel better.1 of them pinged me on communicator later:

"R, my heart became lighter,I felt so bad on my meeting..poor guy my husband listened all my scrap stories and said OK..leave it..if not interested leave the job...so my feelings of badness doubled..but speaking to a person travelling in same boat will lighter my feelings...I realized it today.thank you "

And another mailed me:

"Feeling lil relaxed after talking to you. Was so full since morning and worst part is I cant share anything wid my parents also. Tdy whatever we did chit-chat had no conclusion or outcome, still feeling ok today. Was almost dead bfr that. Thanks a lot. U being my friend is gr8 support, this is second time when u really pricked my pain and m reliefed. My C-section became very managable cause ur words were very powerful and encouraging then too. Ur words give power to survive when suffering. Thanks again. Really love u this time."

Not that I did anything - I only heard them out... But these are my silver lining that gives me some satisfaction and peace that I have been of some help to someone today...

Episode where I ditched both Father and Son

2011-07-20T09:46:00.000+05:30

Everyday morning rush as usual. And we also dropped off bhaaji to the ILs place on the way since we started as early as 7.45 from home. And more than half way later - I realise that Hubby's laptop bag is not in its usual place. Only then did he also realise that he has left it at home and it was already past 8.30 by then.

I began to get worked up because we had to turn back, go home and travel all the way to work again which means all the effort of waking up at 5.15am goes down the drain! And Not to talk about the attendance issue in the office. So, started an arguement and we thought about options - cant take Chutku in volvo at taht time since it will be crowded till the door, no autos available at that point..blah..blah..and then he said 'get down - do what you want'.

And what did I do - I just got down, saw a volvo on the opposite side of the road. Ran across the street like I was running for the olympics and I even GOT THE BUS!! This is the most impulsive thing I've ever done. I didnt even bother to turn back and see if they were still there - yes, Chutku was still strapped to the car seat... And as I write this I have Evil laughter bubbling up - I ditched the Father to handle the son too,didnt look back and I didnt even know I had it in me to do something like this! Somewhere Im thinking - Serves him right to be so irresponsible but the heart is guilty for doing this - for leaving him to drive all the way with the little fellow all alone... And its about 1.5 hrs journey. Im now waiting for them to come to office and see what the effect has been...

So, What do you think? Have I been a Bad Wife/Mother today? And guess what - the little bugger didnt even realise that I've gotten out of the car! He was so involved in looking out the window!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2011-07-18T14:42:00.001+05:30

I had read that this is one of the books in the Top 100 list of BBC books. And every since I read the Animal Farm I had been wanting to read this book. So much so that I refrained from watching the movie before I read the book.

And so when there was a book sale in the office and I came across this one for 99/- I HAD to pick it up. At the time, I was reading Jeffery Archer's Only Time Will Tell and this book had to wait its turn.

Here's my take - I LOVED the book. I kept thinking that its a children's book and it might not be so interesting. The book just got me hooked from the first word! The illustrations (especially those of the Oompa Loompas), the description of the children on the first page. Willi Wonka, Oompa-Loompas - I like the way they sound :-).

And the description of the chocolate factory - Ah! I was drooling at the chocolate waterfall/pink toffee boat/A complete meal in a chewing gum and big big bars of chocolate and their descriptions - Chocolate milk Cows? Seen squirrels breaking walnuts? Wow! The kind of picture it painted in my head - I became the kid looking at all that.

And best of all - How each kid falls into their own trap caused by their bad habits- Be it hooked to chewing gum,eating all day, watching television all the time,demanding all that they see and what happens to the kids at the end of it all...

And I forgot to add that the book is just un-putdownable! I just sat and read through Chutku climbing all over me and making noise and playing around me in about 3hrs... So you can well imagine how good it was...

Now I just cant wait to read it to my little one! Oh! WHEN will he grow up?!!

Who is a Teacher?

2011-07-12T12:15:00.000+05:30

How many of us even think about the teachers who influenced us in life? I do have a couple of them I really respect and look up to. Those teachers who not only taught me subjects but a lot of other values in life. And its so sad that in today's money-making world the dearth of good teachers is so obvious :-(

Got this mail from my Dad:

From A School Principal's speech at a graduation..

He said "Doctor wants his child to become a doctor.........
Engineer wants his child to become engineer......
Businessman wants his ward to become CEO.....
BUT a teacher also wants his child to become one of them..!!!!
Nobody wants to become a teacher BY CHOICE" ....Very sad but that's the truth.....!!!

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.
One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued,
"What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

To stress his point he said to another guest;
"You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Teacher Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied,
"You want to know what I make?
(She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't
make them sit for 5 min. without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?

(She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them how to write and then I make them write.Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math.They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life ( Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL YOUR LIVES,EDUCATING KIDS AND PREPARING THEM TO BECOME CEO's ,AND DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS..........

What do you make Mr. CEO?

His jaw dropped; he went silent.

Amen! to that

(Image courtesy:Google images)

Dil goes Hmmm

2011-07-11T13:36:00.000+05:30

Show me one song in today's times that has this kind of romance in lyrics,melody,voice,expressions...*sigh*

Just listening to them makes the heart melt...

This obviously is no list! But listened to these songs yesterday evening all alone at home and was transported into a land of smiles and sighs...

Dheere Dheere Machal ...

Aap Ke Haseen Rukh Pe...

Abhi Naa jaao chod kar...

And this is my 200th post. As you see its taken me 2+ years to get from 100 to 200 - whew! how busy life has become :-)

Being Working Moms

2011-07-08T18:13:00.000+05:30

A lot of discussion has already happened on this topic all around the blogsphere. But then there is obviously more to each discussion...

Me, being a working Mom myself have to face a lot of 'advise' on how to bring up my child, whether I'm doing the right thing in taking him to the day care, and all the time get questions about how I can trust the people there to be as good as me! Of course they cant be as good as me - but they do their best too... And the good part is all those ladies have been seeing him since month 5 and are seeing him grow up! Sometimes they rejoice more than I do about some small thing he said/did. They immediately call me up to share the news too! And that gives me the confidence that my baby is in safe hands. It did take me time to get to this stage, no doubt. And I do keep check on how they take care of him. It is an advantage for me that I bring him here with me. And that he is just a couple of minutes away from my desk so I can run to him anytime. The reason I changed to my current job being this!

OK, that was total digression there... Coming back - I see how many women leave their child in day cares closer home/leave the kids with the grand parents/ leave the kids with a caretaker - many options and we try to find the best balance. And we toughen up and come to work. At work its a different picture. No matter how good we are, how good work we do - its always and always noted how soon we leave for the day - ALWAYS! And this is not just with me! Always our performance is judged by the number of hours we put in - always only the days that we have not been able to stay back at work, days when we cannot/refuse to take calls from home/refuse to work on weekends is what get noticed while the actual effort we put in getting their tasks completed on time without any issues gets completely side tracked! All the time we are compared to other colleagues who stay back (No one bothers about the hour long cigarette brk or going to the bank during office hours), who do not mind coming to work over weekends. Why is it that performance is not rated on the quality of work? Why is it that 12hrs logged in office becomes more glaring than the amount of work accomplished? So, everyone advises the working mom - its ok, wait till your child grows up and then you can concentrate on your career - does that mean that the Mom is not giving her 100% at work - that's so not true! When we are at work - we gives it our best - especially because we do not want to rework and waste the precious little time! But who cares - that's the best excuse - oh! She has a small child, so she cannot do more than she is already doing - exactly! we will not stay back,we will complete our tasks on time, we will not overload ourselves or our team - so we plan accordingly rather than loading at the last minute with weekend and late nights at office! But who understands these?

Then comes the question at home/family members and other stay at home moms - how do you manage? 1 constant question - what do you feed him? - You are seeing my child - does he look underfed? Sick? Unhappy? does he look like he is facing some problem because he spends the day at the day care? - But I refrain - because it becomes impolite to answer back. I am responsible for my child and know what's best for him. I know when he needs more attention than anything else in my life. And I give 100% attention when I'm with him. And I dont think it mars his personality in any way! In fact I feel its the opposite - he learns to interact/share/understand and pickup faster. So why compare 2 children and say something derogatory only because you are a working mom? And Thank you! But No thank You! You DON'T have to pity him!!! There is nothing wrong with the situation or with him or with our family - thank you very much!

Finally, its our own Mommy guilt. When the child is sick, when he/she has had vaccination and is in pain or even on a daily basis every time the thought comes "Is he missing me?" Or on days when he learns something new and his care taker calls up to share the news and there is this feeling of loss - "Oh! I missed it" I hear from my friend who feels sad when her Daughter says 'Amma, miss you' as soon as she goes home, or when another's son prefers to sleep with granny that day because she scolded him for something naughty as soon as she went home and claims that she scolds him as soon as she goes home. Or I overheard 2 ladies - one was crying (yes in the office) that her son was unwell but she had a deliverable for which she had to come to office and the other one was consoling her saying that the father is at home along with the grand parents to take care of him - but I could understand that feeling of helplessness.

Yes, working moms are human too! We have our reasons for taking a decision like this. And we try and strike as good a balance as we can at work/at home or with our child.We put ourselves on the back burner - refusing to take a day off when we are sick so we can 'save' that leave when required, hardly get that required 8hours of sleep We slog our as*es off at work to ensure quality deliverable, go home and ensure that our child has proper dinner, make sure we keep in touch with family, grocery shop over weekends, keep a clean enough home, loose sleep just to have some companionship and conversation for that 1/2 hour with the man we love...

And yet! At the end of the day - we are never given 100/100 on anything... And sometimes that matters...

(We here are the working moms - and at least those that I interact with on a daily basis)

Office Rant rant rant...

2011-07-04T17:53:00.000+05:30

OK, I've been quite dis-satisfied with what I've been doing for the last 3 months in this new project. Though I had made it pretty clear initially about what I wanted and where I wanted to go, the concerned people didnt bother about it and just put me where they most wanted somebody. I even made it clear that I have the experience of doing the next role because I've already done it and they just dismissed it...

And I've been doing the work that a 3yr experienced person would be doing - sometimes a 1yr exp would be doing. And I did that too thinking things will improve and change. But nope! Since I so quietly accepted all that they dumped on me they are no way close to giving me even the opportunity to move ahead. They want me to continue in this rut for as long as they can wring the max out of me. They want me to do the donkey's work and give credit to someone else whose work Im doing. As long as I keep quiet and continue to do it - all's well but where is that leading me? I've been proactive and tried to introduce something new which is not even considered because 'onsite' doesnt want it...

I'm confused - do I just keep quiet and keep doing this while being unhappy? Compromise because I have a day care here where I can be available for Chuktu? Because I have the physical comfort of travelling with hubby everyday (Now even that is not possible with his erratic long hours)? Continue to do the work and let others take the credit for it? Or do I just quit and get another job elsewhere and then see how it will work out -Im scared to do that with the dependencies right now...

I realise that I've somehow brought upon myself the wrath of 'onsite' because I spoke up with issues that were causing problems. I didnt realise that the others here just keep their mouth shut and do as their 'onsite' asks them to - even to the extent of a*se licking which I abhor and find disgusting! I realise I take my disappointment at work - home and let it affect my weekends and evenings.

I had a discussion today with the '2 ups' and let them know that despite having made my intentions clear Im not getting what I asked for and Im unhappy with it. I've been asked to think about it and get back in a couple of days and I told them that I've already thought about this and I dont want to continue to do what Im doing because I dont see any career growth for me in this...

Did I do wrong? Does that come across as unprofessional? Am I letting my heart make the decision - I've given this a lot of thought and Im still uncertain...

1005, 'Kiran'

2011-07-04T16:25:00.000+05:30

Is where I was born and spent the first 25 years of my life. And the place where my son was brought home too. My home. Somewhere in me, even today when people ask 'Where do you stay",I end up giving this address. I never actually realised that I 'felt' for this house so much. Until over the weekend something drastic happened and there was a fear of an entire side of the foundation collapsing! And I heard Dad get angry and saw mom worried that I realised there was a very unsettling feeling for me too... A very uneasy,unhappy feeling that I couldnt express.

Many many memories associated with that brick and mortar house...

My first memories of playing chauka baara with Thatha, sleeping in the last room between the grand parents with a book (Tales and Parables) in my hands.
The running away from Dad on weekends and locking myself in the room with Thatha while Dad got the room key and opened it and insisted that I sleep! (How I wish I could do that now - lock myself and sleep!)
Walking all the way to the bathroom at end of the house in the middle of the night, jumping walls to go to the neighbours'
Sitting on the front steps talking to my neighbour S for hours or going for long walks in the neighbourhood
Chatting with friends on the street in front of the gate for hours together - school friends, college friends, neighbours.
Walking on the terrace studying for the exams,playing in water on the terrace during some construction work.
Eating endless dosas on competition with brother sitting at the dining table while granny made them hot.
Sitting at the dining table and discussing the elocution/debate/essay and singing competitions while mom sat down cutting the veggies for the next day. And the numerous songs that mom/bro and me sang along with the radio/TV.
The endless amounts of mirth and laughter on finding out that Ajji had put tea powder instead of mustard seeds for the bhendi fry and how I had stuffed everything in my mouth at school because I was scared of her - though it tasted yuck!
Cycling and playing on the streets until dark.
Playing antakshari after dark during power cuts with the neighbours in their living room and us in ours!
The relatives who came to stay over at home for days together.
The first time I told about hubby to my parents and that evening of discussion with me sitting on the floor while the 3 elders sat on the sofa while Dad bombarded me with questions.
Hubby (then BF) visiting me and my pre wedding home renovations and wedding festivities.
Watching TV lazing on the sofa while mom vaccumed the whole house on a saturday afternoon.
Making the first sandwich, the first custurd, the first dosa - the first everything in cooking.
Painting the Rangoli in front of the house every summer vacation. All the arts/crafts that hang on those walls...
Planting in the garden with granny.
The numerous festivals - Ganesh/Gowri immersion in the well behind, finish bursting crackers early during diwali and then stand on the terrace to watch all the night items light the sky later.

Some sad ones..
Like the day Thatha passed away and I was sitting all alone near the gate without even switching on the lights because I was somehow scared to go inside.
The day before J Amma passed away and I fed her, her last piece of banana and how she said she wanted to go now and she was very happy that bro and me were well settled.

I think I can go on and on... I realise Im going to miss that house and all that it gave me...

Random Weekend Updates

2011-07-04T14:01:00.000+05:30

So much happened over the weekend that I HAD to put it up here...

Friday evening I f inally managed to go to the dentist and get that troublesome wisdom tooth removed. And I was so plesantly surprised that it was so smooth. Thank God! Everyone I had heard from had only horror stories to tell about the wisdom tooth removal and I was petrified. But it was pretty simple with a tug,tug,twist, twist and a HUGE pull - it came out! I was so relieved that I did a clap and did a victory dance sitting on that chair itself! Both hubby and the dentist himself were laughing! And the plus points were that I got to eat only icecream for dinner :-D (I dont even remember when was the last I did this!) and I had my parents staying back with us overnight to make sure that Chutku was taken care of along with hubby. And the little monster refused to come to me even for a hug!

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Talking of Chutku - Just a couple of weeks back when we took him for the 18months vaccination, I was worried that he is not talking as much as he is supposed to - and what a turn around he has shown in these 2 weeks! Suddenly he begins to say 'A,B,C,D', Johnny johnny yes papa, he joins 2 words together. And He observes - he found a round peice of cardboard label and tried to insert it into the DVD player thinking its a CD. I had a bad cold a few days back and was walking around with a kerchief - so where ever he finds a kerchief he comes to me, scrunches his nose and wipes my nose :-D I tell him not to run his jeep on the sofa - so he calls me 'Ammmmaaaa' and when I go - he looks at me and moves the jeep on the sofa to see what my reaction will be... And today morning in the car he started rubbing my palms to play ('saarsi,goodsi' - a play where I tickle him in the end) the way I do it for him and using those words and trying to tickle me in the end!!!

****************************************************************************

It was a pleasure having parents at home over the weekend, we even managed to go out for dinner on saturday with my parents to a fave place -for anyone in Blore reading this - Inchara and had a relaxed time. We had both sets of parents at home over the weekend and we got an experience of how it will be if my parents come to live with us over the next couple of years. And it was so relaxed - both hubby and I were later discussing how nice it felt - the house full and conversation flowing... Looking forward to it now... What is it with having parents that makes one relax and let go - kind of a huge burden off your shoulders for a few hours - huh?

****************************************************************************

Yesterday evening we just introduced the little fellow to his birds and animals book, marker pen and newspaper to scribble with and just spent the evening at home relaxing - we as a family that we hadnt got time for in a long time - and that just summed up the weekend for us with a peaceful dinner - we even made the little fellow sit on his high chair with us at the dining table and let him make a mess while we ate and fed him dinner...

It was a good weekend in all.... Wisdom tooth - all thanks to you! :-)

Ah! Wisdom

2011-06-30T14:58:00.000+05:30

Comes with a L.O.T of P.A.I.N. Who wanted Wisdom at 31(soon to be 32) years of age? I was doing pretty well without it. And its taken 10 long years to make its presence felt!

Yes! 10 long years coz I knew of its crooked existence way back then. And all the while I was doing pretty OK. So what if there was no wisdom in my head or in my mouth? I thought all my most important 'life changing decisions have been taken over this past decade anyway - in happy ignorance...

If Wisdom comes with so much pain - Ignorance is Bliss!

Nuclear families/Elder care and such matters

2011-06-27T15:32:00.000+05:30

These topics are being discussed across blogs by IHM,Sangi,R's Mom and everywhere I left my comments. Somehow every time it felt incomplete. So here's my very personal take on these issues.

I will start from 2 generation back when as a child/teenager I saw my grand mom taking care of my bedridden grandfather for 2 years - all by herself with no external help. And the effect of all that physical strain took its toll quite early on her resulting in Arthritis and she was bed ridden herself for nearly 6 months when Mom and Dad took care of her. All the time. Dad even quit his temporary job so he could be there for her all the time. He would only leave her for a maximum of a couple of hours to take care of everyday matters like bills and grocery - keeping all that she might want next to her. Mom still works and she would come back home and handle all cooking and running of the house. And they too did it without any external help. Every time the topic of hiring a trained help came into picture Granny out rightly refused that she wouldn't be comfortable. So no help was ever hired. It was always Mom and Dad.

And I've seen that it did take a toll on their personal life - they hardly went out to meet people and friends almost never came home so as to not disturb granny. Its only now that they have begun to have a much active life...

Now in my case - I've lived with ILs for the first 5 yrs of my life until we built our home and had Chuktu. And all those years I never had to do much. I pretty much did the same things I did at Mom's too and MIL didnt expect much from me either. Did we have differences and arguments- Of course! We are 2 different individuals who have grown up differently and have different ways and ideas. So arguments are bound to happen - the same kind that I have with my own mother too!

We live in our own house now and ILs/Parents visit us every weekend or we go over. They get to spend time with their grandson and it is an outing for them while we get the sunday to relax. We never expected either of the parents to take care of our child as we realised that they have their own lives/health issues and problems. So, it would be unfair on our part to expect that. We are also close enough to both sets that we will be available for any emergency at any point in time. They pitch in too - they are just a phone call away aanytime. When one of us is unwell/when hubby travels out station - either set of parents are willing to come and spend the night/day with us taking care of the little one too. Do they give us advise on how to bring him up/run the house/handle finances - you bet! Which parent wouldn't? They still think we are immature/lazy to handle everything. On our part we listen and consider any advise we feel fit - others we just let go - that's the freedom we have...

There are days when I come home tired with a cranky baby to take care of when I wish that I were living with ILs/Parents and there was someone else to handle everything. And there are days when I come home early full of energy and cook something that the hubby likes/just order pizza/eat out/take the little one out to play, or when friends/cousins decide to drop in when I appreciate the freedom we have in living by ourselves. So its the closest win-win situation we can be in and it works well for all of us.

Would I accommodate either set of parents in my house if the need arose - ABSOLUTELY and undoubtedly yes! No second thoughts about it. We have made it very clear that they are welcome at any point in time to live with us and they have let us know that as long as they can manage on their own - they will. But we would gladly welcome any of them home to live with us for the rest of their lives.

OK, now for the tougher question - what if (God Forbid) any of them needs the 100% round the clock attention? Would either hubby or I give up our jobs? Would we do all that I saw my own parents do? Or would it be OK for us to hire trained help? Emotionally - I would love to do everything for both sets of parents - yes - I said, both sets of parents (My ILs are really wonderful people - and yes my decision IS based on that fact - You wouldn't want to do much for someone you don't care/never cares for you - right? Thats only human I think) Anyway - but practically we might not be able to do it - we have our own life - jobs/child rearing to do and if it needs any special attention its only practical to get a trained help. Yes, I would open up my home to any trained help who can take care of the parents much better than me only because they are 'trained' to do it! I might have all the love and affection for them but I might not know what is expected of me! Also, to put my life on hold but have a dissatisfaction because I did it, is also not an ideal situation for the care giver and the patient as well.

Finally - when my day comes - I've been telling hubby that we need to think about it too. This would be ideal - to live in a retirement home which has all amenities like groceries/medical facility/everyday help for cooking and cleaning/driver and of course security (How many cases of the old being robbed these days!). Who said I need to live a life of a hermit drowned in spirituality after 60/70?! I would love to have as active a life as possible as long as possible. And when/if (I hope not) a day comes when I cant do my own basic things a hired help too - why depend on the son/DIL (Ah! That word) to provide all that for me? If planned properly hopefully by the time I AM 60 I would be able to afford all those! Of course its going to be a long long journey till then too...

Life's never been easy for anyone - has it?

Its your Birthday today...

2011-06-23T11:36:00.000+05:30

And I kept wondering what to gift you. Yes yes, apart from the very materialistic IPhone you demanded and got! I thought of midnight cake cutting - but how to get the cake,waking up at 12, Chutku loosing sleep all these quelled the thought. Cards/candles/party - none of it appealed either. Very practically we've chosen to go out for lunch rather than dinner. So, there goes the surprise of a surprise dinner party with all cousins too! So what else? I have been reading the thingy posts from LF and a few others, and realised I would rather speak my heart here than any other gift.

So here's my thingy post for you:

1. You believe that marriage is a partnership.After hearing all the stories even from my own colleagues I realise how important this is.

2. You are my pillar of strength and support. I had already written here - "Tu hai toh I'll be all right..."You stand by me whenever required - against both sets of parents too sometimes! So Thank you! It makes life a lot easier knowing you are there for that support.

3. The confident me that people see now - is all because of you. You give me that confidence - to voice my opinions,give me the confidence that 'I can do it' - IT being running the house,changing jobs,blogging, taking care of chutku, going out,driving - everything.

4. Its you who pushed me to blog! Yes - When I first voiced my thoughts about blogging and was still thinking if I can do it - it was you who said - 'Do it, whats the big deal - your head is always filled with thoughts - put them on paper...' And even today you are my editor whenever I feel the need :-)

5. You know what hurts me - my weaknesses. And I've seen you shielding me from many such tears in your own way.

6. You never force me to do anything - ever. You always leave the final decision to me. But you will stand by me once you are convinced about the decision!

7. I love the way you crack PJs early in the morning! Something so silly that I cant believe you said that! And that cracks me up - and I know you do that to just lessen the morning stress for me.

8. There are times that I realise you know what my likes and dislikes are - and at unexpected moments! - Like increasing the volume when you know I like a song, pausing at some scene while channel surfing, telling me not to eat something because it is sour/too cold...

9. YOU are my best friend forever! There is nothing that I hide from you. Every small thing I HAVE to tell you. When there are hectic days somehow the thoughts get stored in the head somewhere and come pouring out when there is a 10min time for us!

10. And you listen (Well! not while watching TV though) when I have to vent. Though what you do about it is secondary! But you listen - when I wake you up at 11pm because there's something bothering me and I'm unable to sleep...

11.There are times you get up early or take care of Chuktu at nights when I NEED sleep. For that I'm grateful! You realise that I need that sleep to be sane...

12. I have a lot of respect for you - because you never let your Ego come between us at anytime. Even when you took that sabbatical and joined me in the US, even when people spoke behind your back about it...

13. And now being in the same office, I realise what a different person you are at work! There is so much of respect I see from others for you and that makes me proud! You know so many people and everyone has such good regards for you...

14. I depend on you to save me from embarrassing situations that I put myself in - with my motor mouth and when I talk without thinking.

15. I can be rude and nasty when I am angry. But you can see through all that and get to the gist of the matter and even accept/apologise if you are wrong.

16. You never, ever argue/fight with me in public - in front of parents/friends/relatives.If there is something you don't agree with you wait until you get a chance to be alone and only then speak up. - it never gives a chance for the outsider to comment on our relationship.

17. Finally I realise that you are a better human being than me -
- You have the ability to forget and forgive while I can do neither!
- Because when you do something, you do it whole heartedly - without expecting even an acknowledgement! There have been times when I have felt bad on your behalf when people haven't even bothered to acknowledge what you've done for them!

Its not everyday that I get a chance (Or time, for that matter!) to appreciate you, Hubby - so this one's for you today! Have an amazing Birthday :-D

Love,
Your Wife.

An 18 month Update

2011-06-22T15:02:00.000+05:30

(Warning - This is a pure Chuktu post - please X if you are not interested in knowing his antics!)

This one's for you Chutku, when you grow up and read what you've been upto for the first 1.5 yrs of your life.1 1/2! My God! When you woke up in the morning and called 'Amma' it hit me real hard - My baby can call scream for me now! Lying in bed you gave me that toothy smile and asked 'Appa yelli' - that was the next jolt - you can even make me understand what you're thinking. Baby you've been doing so many things these days growing up so fast that time is just flying. I go through so many emotions enjoy,cry,laugh,get irritated,exhausted all in a single day.

Listing a few antics of your's here for posterity:

• You've been having erratic schedules - waking up at odd times (2am/4am) and wanting to go out RIGHT THEN. And you throw such a tantrum that the nieghbours ask the next day if all is fine.

• Food - Sometimes you are like your Dad -You want Appacchi all the time and want to munch on something. But that something gets strewn all over the house and nothing actually goes inside! And sometimes you are like me – fussy eater and you love kismis and milk! Boy! Am I glad that you’ve taken to milk – my best substitute for you on cranky nights. You also want to see what you are eating now and point your finger at the curd rice or the sambar rice and insist that you want to be fed only that.

• You have an obsession for shoes. Not just yours – everyone’s! You want everyone to be wearing shoes all the time. And someone visits us without prior notice they can see a tiny bum and bare legs in a pair of ‘shoessuu’ (Ofcourse a shirt :-) )

• You are so sensitive to the mood of people around you. You scrunch up your nose, furrow your eyebrows and look at your dad without blinking when he is screaming, you immediately start crying when I cry. If I show you some ‘Abbu’ * you instantly make a sad face.

• Oh! And by the way – you can also milk the sympathy cow from all by showing some ‘abbu’ that’s non existent! Or one that you don’t even know on which leg it initially was! Such a drama master you are…

• I have to add that you imitate your grand Dads when they ask you to walk ‘slowly’. So for sure you understand what we are telling you but you’ve so early in life learnt the art of ‘selective listening’!

• I have learnt the many simple pleasures from you again, Sweetheart – the pleasure of watching the birds flying or a bunch of flowers, leaves swaying in the breeze, watching rain.

• Im amazed at the way you’ve observed and picked up things – like knowing you need both DVD and TV remote for the cartoon – you bringthem both and then insist we play it., searching for your Dad as soon as we come home, taking the powder puff out of the container before you pour out all the powder from the bigger box!

• You are constantly in motion – running on your toes (you hardly ever walk),climbing and jumping on the sofa, climbing stairs, climbing the window bars (My heart will be in my mouth when you do this!),roll around on the bed - SOMETHING. You hate to sit down in one place unless you are sleepy…

• Its sometimes a pleasure to realize how possessive you are about me – you don’t even like your Dad and me to sit next to each other. I should not even talk to any other kid in the baby care. You somehow manage to wriggle and settle down next to me or on my lap on all such occasions…

• And what a little monster you’ve become! If this is at 18months I dread to think how its going to be when the terrible twos actually set in! Your tantrums for wanting something, pushing and hitting when you don’t get something. Oh! And you HATE to brush your teeth while you enjoy your bath – preferably when you are left to handle the mug too! Else there begins another screaming session…

• Sometimes I realize that the only thing that soothes you is my voice – when I talk softly and ask you a question you stop all the screaming and crying to just listen to me talk and ask ‘Aaaaa?’ like an old man! Singing and music works too at times and Im glad for that!

• And you’ve learnt so many things – slidin , learning new words (caa,Aoee (lorry),tacta (tractor), haalu(Milk),oova (flower),aannu (fruit)) and now I taught you right and left hands. You wriggle your fingers randomly and say ‘too’ ‘thee’ and expect me to continue…

• Malls and escalators and stairs give you a thrill – only that Amma gets tired running up and down the stairs repeatedly with you or carrying you over multiple escalators multiple times!

• AND the constant AMMA AMMA all the time – you call me like you have something important to say and then say something like ‘illilla tdrilla’ and Im amused and irritated at the same time! You are one Amma’s tail – behind her all the time. Pulling kitchen drawers, folded clothes.And I sometimes make use of it too, like asking you to carry one of your dabbas to keep in the right place, keep folded clothes in their place, get spoons or plates from the utility… My own little elf - So yippeeeeeeeee!! The Amma that I was longing for came and came how…

• Finally – I felt so proud when we took you to the doctor and you began to howl looking at him he commented- This little fellow has elephantine memory – he remembers me even when you haven’t come here in such a long time!

Im looking forward to (with a little bit or trepidation) more such antics from you sweetheart – start talking - faaast! :-D

( And searching for 1 picture of you where you are looking at the camera- Nope! None at all - always upto some mischief!)

Ah! Another Giveaway...

2011-06-21T14:14:00.001+05:30

What? OK, I know my luck sucks when it comes to winning something for free but a girl's gotta try - right? Especially when the Father has drilled this in the head - "An attempt can be a failure but there should not be a failure of attempt."

OK, so I was just browing and I came across this: http://simzcorner.blogspot.com/2011/06/100th-post-giveaway.html

Though I read Simran's blog regularly I dont really delurk - (I dont delurk at most of the design blogs by the way! I have a serious case of inferiority complex!) but this was one opportunity I REALLY didnt want to miss...

Who wouldnt want a neat, pretty little pouch to hold all the multiple sundry items on a travel? Mine always go in different ugly plastic bags and I would love to get one of those travel pouches. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

For my Son's Father

2011-06-20T10:45:00.000+05:30

Who said only Daughters and Fathers have a special bonding - Let me show them the 2 of you!!

I couldnt have asked for a better Dad for chuktu! I am so glad, I insisted that you would be the first person to hold/carry him. Knowing you I realised that, that moment will define the relationship for you. Until then chutku was a part of me - but that moment - he was all yours.And I see that bond only growing deeper and stronger with each passing day.

I enjoy every moment I see you enjoying the time with him - playing with him, changing him, bathing him, showing him the 'Pakki'* , struggling to feed him. And the best of all - you get up in the middle of the night to give him milk and there are nights when Im dead to the world and dont even realise it!You are such a Hands-On Dad that I have no worries leaving Chutku with you alone, at all.

And it amuses me no end, when you refuse to brush his teeth or make him wear his shirt in fear of hurting him! You even dont play rough with him! Its me who is rolling around,throwing him up in the air,running around while you prefer to give him a pillow and watch him play with it AND keep a hawk eye that he doesnt get too close to the edge of the bed... You still think of him as that frail little baby you first carried :-)

And I love it when you say 'Paapa, He's such a small baby' when Im irritated at the end of the day and scold him for climbing all over me...When you see him sleeping and you smile looking at him - no matter even if its past 11pm in the night and your own eyes are closing shut.

I can feel the love when I see your eyes tear-up when he gets hurt, or the times you feel guilty for not being more careful.

Wishing you a very happy Father's day - Hubby!

*Pakki = Pakshi (Bird)

Luuuvvvv

Original and Copy

Bade Miyan, Chote Miyan

Person analysis based on the blog

2011-06-14T15:02:00.001+05:30

Saw this link where giving the blog name returns an analysis on the person writing the blog. And here's mine below.

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

So, what do you all think of this analysis about me - Is this right?

Friendship, BFF and 2am friends...

2011-06-14T12:25:00.001+05:30

Friendship Comments

RM wrote about friendship here and I started to comment. Realising that my comment was getting longer - I decided to put a post of my own here...

OK, let me begin by saying - I have a lot of friends. And I have been in touch with those who really matter to me constantly, thru the years. Off late, school friends whom I had lost touch with, also met and we hit it off instantly - like we never had all these years between us and Im so thankful for that! We try and meet as often as we can and everytime we meet its fun and we begin where we left off last time.

I have 1 friend who's been with me since class 4, we share the same name and everyone who knows me, knows her -atleast by reference. And she knows all my secrets too. But does that mean I can call her at 2am? No, I dont think so. Will she call me at 2am - dont think so either! We know we CAN do it but we DONT. Why? No answer - Is it because we've always depended on family more for support - be it physical or emotional? We've both never lived out of the house all our growing up years? So, we dont even know what it is to have such a friend with whom we share everything with?

We do share everything, we still have the same ideas and thoughts. But practically, I know she cant help me at 2am, if need be! Would I leave everything and be there for her - Emotionally - Yes! Physically -will she think of me first - I dont think so, since she knows I have my constraints... I think this is what happens - growing up. Knowing that she is there but she wont be of much help. I'd rather call a couple of my other male friends if I really need any help! They will definitely give me the physical help I need immediately and THEN I would call her up and talk to her. Sometimes, distance matters too... Knowing she is in another timezone and she might not have had time for me. I know that she was hurt when there were things I hadnt told her only because I couldnt talk to her immediately!

We have had enough differences growing up that there was a time when the friendship was completely strained. But I hope, today things are much better and settled down!

And then there's S, knowing she is hubby's cousin doesnt stop me from telling her everything! Timezones not withstanding there are times when we talk for hours together on phone and sometimes have chain of mails between us. And we do tell each other everything - somethings that even our parents/hubby would'nt know. We relate to each other more emotionally than I do with anyone else. So is she my 2am friend? Nope - here again I would think that I would be distrubing her if I did call her at 2am!! Call me considerate for the others but I cannot call anyone at 2am - except of course Hubby and my parents... And I cant call them BFF - now,can I?

So are these girls my BFF/not BFF? Is something wrong with me to not think of them as BFFs? Or like I said earlier - because I never lived away from my parents I dont know how to call someone at 2am and confide in them?

And finally - Isnt friendship like the picture? You need each other's support to walk ahead - yet you have your own paths to take. A very delicate balance, there...

“Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!” – Bronwyn Polson

Mauritius

2011-06-11T09:11:00.000+05:30

Aaaah! Mauritius - A lot of planning and last minute running around - we went to Mauritius for our honeymoon :-) What better way to celebrate this month other than these pictures.... I have a dream to go back there again - say - our 25th anniversary? :-D

Pamplemouses - At the Botanical Gardens

The Dormant Volcano

Sunset from the room

Water falls into the ocean - Amazing Speed boat ride to get here

Sega Dance at the hotel

Shiva Temple

From the submarine ride

Chamarel - Multi coloured volcanic sand

Starfish at Ile Aux Cerf - see the shell inside?

Hubby at the hotel bar - Obviously :-)

Complimentary drinks...

:-)

Sunset at Ile Aux Cerf

Sugarcane fields - taller than 6ft!

Ile Aux Cerf

Gifts and Giving

2011-06-10T15:02:00.000+05:30

Almost everyone who called to wish us for the anniversary yesterday had this question - "So what did he give you?" or "What are you giving him?"

But we dont gift anything for the anniversary. What is the point? I mean, I give him something he wants and he gives me back something I want? We anyway do that for Birthdays or for that matter if we know what the other one really wants we just buy it - It really doesnt need an occassion. And where is the 'Us' in it? Its again you and me - isnt it?

And that said - We both love travelling and seeing new places. So our one gift for each other is to take a few days off and go see a new place. Ever since we went to Mauritius after wedding we decided we will take frequent trips and definitely for the anniversary. And enjoy, unwind and have a nice time. Have some 'US' time. THAT is our gift to each other. I think that time we spend with each other making happy memories are the best gifts than the material ones.

The years of togetherness...

2011-06-09T00:00:00.008+05:30

Hmmm... The first time we met, said Hi and that trip...
Raah Mein Unse mulakat ho gayiii, jise darr the the wohi baath ho gayi...

End Of college and the thought that -
Kal College Band Ho Jaayega... Tum Apne Ghar Ko Jaaoge...

The missing and the thinking - Is this what I think it is?
Tum Se Milne ko dil karta hai Re Baba...

And then you called -
I Just Called to say I Love You...

Came a time that we told the parents -
...Jahan Raaz ko chupaaya na jaaye...

Ofcourse mine first and they thought -
Shaayad Meri Shaadi Ka Khayal...

And Voila! Everything just happened so fast that before I realised -
Aaj Kal Paon Zameen Par Nahi Padh the mere...

The D-Day came - and remember we sang this?
Jab Koi Baat Bigadh Jaaye, Jab koi mushkil padh jaaye...Tume Dena Saath mera Oo Humnawaab...

Then came the time when we spent some time away from each other -
Lambi Judaayi...

You joined me in the US -
...Door Kahi Jaayenge Nayi duniya basaayenge...

We came back and you began to dream...
Dekho Maine Dekha hai ye Ek Sapna...Phoolo ke sheher mein hain ghar Apna...

Im surprised how things worked in our favour, finally - though the wait was 2 long years...
Yeh Tera Ghar...Yeh Mera Ghar...

In the meantime, along came our personal Rainbow of happiness -
...Nanha Sa Gul Khilega angana...

And today my only thought is:
Jaane kyon dil jaanta hai... tu hai to I'l be alright...

Happy Anniversay Hubby. I only pray that the happy songs increase over the years to come... :-D

what mommyhood taught me

2011-05-26T15:15:00.000+05:30

There is a lovely tag that has been doing the rounds of mommy bloggers and when I first read it at Kiran's I was just hoping someone would tag me too!(Else I would have perhaps shamelessly stolen it and done it too!) And the lovely Little fingers did - Thank You!

What this tag is all about (In Kiran's Words):
It's been a while since us Mommybloggers came up with something to celebrate, well, mommyhood, so the lovely Monika and I came up with this. A tag that has us list out five lessons of life that Mommyhood has taught us, these could be sweet, bitter, funny, touching, whatever. These could be survival tips or cooking tips, or something as simple as the best thing to get puke smell out of hair.

So, the rules are simple. Put the badge up. Write out five lessons that Mommyhood taught you. And tag five mommybloggers.

So here are my five (And in no particular order):

1. General Personality Overhaul - Yes! Lots of things I didnt believe I could do or I thought doesnt relate to me - all of those 'thoughts' have gone right down the drain.

a. Being a hot-head - I now keep my cool when he throws a tantrum at 2am in the middle of the night to go out - I know if I shout his shrill scream will wake up the dead...
b. Over sensitive to Dont bother about them attitude - Earlier I used to always listen to what others had to say and fret about not so good things that they might tell me. Especially the initial 3 months when Chutku had colic, I was bombarded with you havent done this right or you should have done that during pregnancy. And I would just sit and cry. And then both Mom and Chutku's neonatologist put some sense into my head. Today I have learnt to listen with one ear and let go with the other - any criticism and comparision between me and any other Mom. If I find some idea constructive I will try it else I dont fret about it.
c. To not talk before thinking - I've mostly been Mooh-phat and speak out my mind. Now after having experienced myself the effects of advices - I think a lot before I give a tip to another mommy. Also, only if they ask me what I do - never without being asked. And also, I dont just stop someone from petting my son - though I might not really like the way they are doing it. Or even for that matter I have stopped responding to unwanted comments from all and sundry telling me how to bring up my child. Every parent-child will have their own equation.
d. Multitasking - How could I forget this? I can carry him and do most jobs with a single hand. And I never knew I was so dexterous! (see the pic? I am having lunch/talking to someone holding my mobile and him in 1 hand)
2. Leading by example: The more the time passes the more it strikes me that the little 16 month old does exactly what hubby or me do. So now all my bad habits of cursing or swearing/angry tantrums/ even being fussy about food - they all come back to haunt me! Im more and more careful about what I do and what I speak (especially since he's picking up words really fast and he can catch on to my mood swings like its happening to him). And Im already thinking of all the things he might learn inadvertently from either one of us. Its tough to be always conscious of what we are doing!
There is no way I can think of discipling him before I make sure Im disciplined enough...

3. The sense of actually 'Feeling' - I never knew I had so much of feeling in me! I thought I was a very practical person and always saw things the way they were. Never new that with becoming a mommy I would also find out new sense of 'feeling' that seems to be only growing stronger than 'thinking' - especially when it comes to the little one. There are new found feelings of Pride/Satisfaction/Fear everytime the little one does something new. Even when I crib that I dont have a daughter to 'dress-up' I find a satisfaction of making him wear good/clean clothes, of cooking fresh healthy food, of teaching him the smallest thing. And the fear for him. For every little thing that can cause him harm - of even being paranoid at times!
4. Learning about Intutions and Bonding - That 'instant bonding' everyone spoke about didnt happen instantly. When Mom kept asking me to talk to the little one, I kept saying that he hardly understands, I 'd rather sleep! so while I slept the Grandma and Grandson used to have unintelligeble conversations at 1am in the night and she would sing him lullabies. After we shifted to our own home one day when he was crying and I was at a loss to do anything I began to sing the same lullaby to him that mom sings. And the reaction was instant. He immediately kept quiet and began to smile too! Even today the G'parents are much much favoured and the parents are completely neglected with them around.
And I also somehow knew/know immediately when something bothers him - be it stomach pain/ear pain or discomfort for potty/or even a bad dream - I just knew/know what it is and immediately it also strikes how I should react. I can even predict what his next mischief will be. And I keep surprising myself and hubby with it! I'm surprised that I can read that small individual's mind like I can read my own...
5.Understand that he is a person, an individual - Yes, this early. He makes sure of it. When he first began to crawl and walk I would be very wary of where he would hurt himself. But no matter how careful I would be he would still fall/get hurt. I am now very relaxed around most of his naughtiness - being climbing stairs/ walkting across the Sofa as long as I know that there is nothing harmful in his way. I just keep an eye. With his limited vocabulary he makes sure we understand what he wants - and he makes sure he gets it. From putting 'katoo' (cartoon) on TV, 'tata' taking him out,'chicchu',switching the lights on and off - everything. Even his food - He is quite clear of what he wants to eat and will refuse something if its not to his liking and I have to feed him only what he likes. He refuses to catch words that I keep repeating but will suddenly grasp some new word without repeating even once. All this to prove that I cant force what I want on him - He has a mind of his own which I need to respect!

Quite a lenghty post this became. So I'll stop at this and I take the liberty to tag these mommies:

Sangi - Great, how she is managing to even study with 2 kids and a home to take care of. Her posts on Bangalore/kids remind me of my own childhood.And I would love to know her thoughts on this.

Starry - Another mom with 2 kids. I just love her posts and how she seems to write what I can only think!

ArtNavy - She writes about so many things to take the kids to around Bangalore that I cant wait for Chuktu to grow up...

MomOfRS - With 1 its so tough - she manages twins/family and a job. Whew! Hats-off!

Itchy - Another mommy of twins - Im in awe of these mommies.

There are many more mommies that I regualrly read which helps me in my 'mommy-ing' better! But they have all been alredy tagged - I just hope these are all new mommies that Im passing this around to...

Random updates

2011-05-17T13:48:00.000+05:30

*whiny whiny post ahead*

So much has been happening over the past couple of months that Im looking forward for a break - a break from everyday life!

- With Chutku falling ill on and off sleep has taken a big hit and more often than not Im walking around like a zombie these days. I just hope it doesnt affect my work - hasnt, atleast not yet.

- The April Chikkamagalur trip seems like it was in some last life! Sigh! I wish for another holiday soon - hmmm... like right now?

- On the work front things are getting more and more hectic and me being me, have again gotten into the rut of taking calls late evening - unable to say No.

- And this is affecting home life big time - Guilt has begun to creep that not enough time is being spent with the little one.

- Finally, after much deliberating and insessent pushing from the hubby, I've relented to keeping a cook at home. I avoided all this time and its not something Im very happy and comfortable about, but it seems only practical when Im out of the house for 12hours a day. My dream of having to cook and feed my family has to be on pause atleast for the moment.

- A lot of stress caused a lot of health problems to moi - resulting in the cook decision. Have you ever thought what a big pain it is to decide what to cook? God! I wonder how Moms have been doing it like forever! Atleast now I only decide the previous night and the cook takes over in the mornings giving me some breathingspace.

- And how do I use this 'breathing space' - by sleeping that extra 1/2 hr! The plan was I will go walking for half hour err...

- All the work stress/lack of sleep/no personal space leading to major arguements at home - both with the spouse and with parents - and THAT is something which I know will have its repurcussions *sigh*

- With all these, things that I want to do, which will give me pleasure have come to a standstill - the home decor,gardening,reading,my paints and stitches - where is the time for all that? And THIS is why I want to take a break from everyday life - does it sound silly? I mean, these are all supposed to be done for hobby in freetime - so wanting to take a break from the everyday paying job and life and kid to do these sounds frivolous to myself sometimes...

Family Day Celebration

2011-05-16T17:03:00.001+05:30

Yesterday was family day and what did we do? Spent the day with family - yippeeee!!!

(Obviously! What else? huh!)

Hmmm, here's the big news - hubby got that much awaited promotion and is now into middle management! yayyy!! Its an achievement at just 7+ years of experience and Im basking in all that passed-on glory!

And, MIL had a mannat to take Chuktu to the Hebburu Srichaktra - Sharada/Meenakshi temple. So, we combined hubby's treat with this and with both sets of parents (I mean Grandparents! - They were interested in going out ONLY because they were to get the whole day with Chutku ;p).

So, after a really long time the whole family went out yesterday morning to celebrate. We started at 8 - an hour later than planned-thanks to the little fellow and his crankiness and we reached the temple by 11am. Spent a good hour there - its not a very traditional big temple. Just a small place with a huge hall. The best part that I liked was that they had put up series of pictures depicting the life of Adi Shankaracharya - which refreshed the memory. And the pictures were very well painted too. Loved them. Also, the big hall gave chuktu an option to run around un-interrupted giving him much needed legroom after sitting in the innova for 2 hours straight...We did some basic pooja/took pictures and started from there by 12.15pm.

The idea was to go to Taj Kuteeram near Nrityagram in Hesaraghatta for lunch and spend the rest of the day there until evening. But we weren't sure of the way and reached the place only by 2.30. And we were hungry! Sadly, the buffet lunch had gone cold and the food options weren't many either. We just ate a few rotis and the only thing I could feed Chuktu there was the carrot halwa. The lunch was a disappointment.

But the property is verrrry nice. The caretaker even opened the doors for the rooms and let us take a look at the place. The 2 sets of parents just relaxed on the beach chair kind of sofas there and hubby and me took Chuktu around to see the place. They had sprinklers in the grass and we decided to see how the little fellow will enjoy. We asked the caretaker and then left the little fellow on the grass. Boy! What unadulterated fun he had!! :-D It was totally worth it! He would carefully walk close to the sprinkler and once it turned and sprayed water on him he would just run right back to me - all laughing and screaming :-D It was sheer joy watching him play like that :-D I think this is what they say about the pleasure of having babies! In about 10 mins he was thoroughly soaked and laughing his heart out.

We took him out from there/changed his clothes and then he wanted to go under a bigger one! This time round hubby carried him and both of them got wet again!!! Another change of clothing to the little one by which time it was 5pm and time for coffee.

Coffee it was and time to leave. Some more pictures later we started from there by 5.15 and were home by 7.30 after dropping off my parents. The little fellow had a nice little nap in my Dad's arms and then after we dropped Dad and Mom back he had a screaming kicking tantrum, which subsided only after we reached home - a good half hour later! Whew! I'm sure the driver was glad to drop us off! Some dinner and in bed by 10.30pm made sure the day went by really well and everyone was happy happy...

Inadvertently, when I saw that yesterday was family day - I realised we had spent it having so much fun, together with the people who matter the most!

Some pics:

Shreechakra Pooja done by some ladies at the temple

Shri Sharadamba Devi

Chutku enjoying the sprinkler

Taj kuteeram - near the restaurant

Up Up Uppp...

Conversations and Observations

2011-05-16T12:31:00.000+05:30

Most often when we are alone some things just strike. Hmmm.... I realised my skin is really low maintenance - no costly products/no branded moistureisers/ no heavy makeup/ no perfume - no siree it doesnt need any such things. All it needs is regular johnson baby oil before bath! BUT the 1 day I forget it makes sure it reminds me in a really harsh way by deciding to develop rashes...And i realised that no matter how much I pamper it with the costliest branded products it takes its own sweet time to get back to normal - on that similarity...

Arent we like that too? Most friends I talk to, most 'women' magazine articles I read. makes me think...

Isnt a lovely home cooked dinner better than an expensive 5 star hotel dinner with 50 other people?

Isnt everyday hugs and cuddles better than an 'anniversary s*x'? (I read this term in some magazine - did you know?!)

Isnt a weekend spent at home sharing responsibilites and having conversation better than an international holiday once an year?

Isnt a loving back/foot run better than a 'gift' of Spa package?

Isnt 5 mins of attention everyday better than complimenting with 'rich' gifts on the birthday?

Isnt a festival shared with friends and family at home better than a holiday resort?

And they say women are 'high maintenance'??! :-O

PS: Not that we dont want the expensive stuff, you know, they are all bonus. I mean we need the essentials first and bonus comes next - rightttt?

Mom and pictures

2011-05-09T22:38:00.000+05:30

Im writing this post only because I want to get the barrage of thoughts in my head right now. It all started with my co-sister wanting us to put up a photo of us with our mother for mother's day. And I thought it was easy. Mom and me? ha! That's quite simple - there are multiple functions/festivals and outings where we've been together-right? Wrong!!! It was sooo difficult to find 1 pic of me and my mom where we had posed. Yes, there are random clicks where we are perhaps a part of a larger group or we are doing some work and neither is posing. It then struck me that I really haven't bothered! Haven't bothered to take a picture of me with my mom alone. And then I searched and searched and got one taken way back in 2008 - and I remember even then we were in the middle of some work when hubby just asked us to pose and we did. Beyond that I guess I will have to go back and search for pics in my wedding album or bro's wedding album for a pic of mom and me - and Im sure I wont find any of just the 2 of us :-( And just think how many pictures I have of me posing with all the innumerable people I've met in my life - insignificant people. Some of those people I cannot even recollect their names now...

Isnt it sad that we take this woman so much for granted - the one person who has been the backbone for what we are today? That she's just there? Ah! This - this is just mom you know. She will be here whenever I want her. And after all these years have I realised it? yet? Nope!

Yeah...I mean, it does strike me at odd times like these but then, the expectation is still there. The expectation that she will put her own life on hold and be there - for me. Just like that. Just like last week when I screamed my head off at her because she said she wouldn't be able to be there - for me - to take care of my little one while I met my friends (that's another post story!) and relaxed and unwinded. I didn't even bother to think that SHE might want a break too! That SHE deserves one too...That she has a life too... though she always made us feel that we are more important than anything else.

And you know what? The best part is - she calls me back and promises to come later in the day, so I still get to go meet my friends and have a nice time - while she is not only being the always dependable mother to me but also being the grandmom to my baby! Whew! Its a hard hard example to follow... Half as good as her maybe - I can try...

Thanks Mom! For just being you...

Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo...

2011-04-30T09:26:00.000+05:30

After a really long time this song was selected by someone on Radio a couple of days ago. And after a long time this song stuck in my mind - even as I got up in the morning...

So here it is for all of you:

I listened to the Asha Bhonsle version but somehow it didnt strike a chord... And I liked that the pics in this video are all Madhubala's. Ah!

Now give me a lovely nice book and let me be... sigh...

Its your Dog, not mine...

2011-04-15T15:26:00.000+05:30

So please keep it on a leash when you walk out on streets. This is my humble request to people with dogs.

Yes,Im one of 'those' people who are scared of dogs. Period. I dont know why and it doesnt matter. Not that I hate dogs or have anything against them - No! I like them. But I dont understand them!I love little puppies and love to cuddle them. I dont know what goes on in their heads when they see me and coming running towards me - my only thought is fear! That they will jump on me, they will bite me! And the fact that both my brother and me have sensitive skins,we have been warned against animal fur - that adds to my reason of staying away from them. So please, if you have a dog - I will look at it from far and appreciate it - might be even talk to it from far - but please dont let it come near me - I dread it - my hands and legs begin to shake - visibly, and they tell that a dog knows when you are scared of it. And that intensifies my fear - what if it knows Im scared - will it bite me? The very thought of those long,sharp teeth *shudder*

And why am I saying this? Because - the neighbour who has a dog - a pretty huge one at that too - decided to let his dog outside - seeing that I am walking Chutku back home. And looking at Chutku the dog decided to run to him and my poor baby can hardly walk yet didnt realise that the dog was running towards him - he just stood there saying 'bow bow' and I see the dog running toward him. I almost froze in panic. I instantly carried him and told the owner - can you please hold your Dog. And he snarled at me! - "Its not going to do anything"

Me: Its running toward my son, can you please hold it until I pass

Him" I told you its not going to do anything - in a very rude tone.

me: I dont know that - can you please hold it

Him: Ignored me and walked to the opposite house and complained to the guy standing there.

Me: Look, its coming back to my side - hold your Dog (It probably was excited to see Chutku!)

Him: Glared at me

Me: Excuse me - can you hold your dog - I dont care if it wont bite - and Im not being rude to you - Im requesting you to hold it while I pass - so you dont have to be rude (By this time I was scared and angry)
Him: You can go - I will hold it - in a very princely manner.

Hmmppphhhh and Im still seething. At 6.30 in the evening when Im walking back home from work and letting the little fellow walk and get some better balance I dont think I needed this...

(Image courtesy: Google images)

The Angry little Man

2011-04-15T14:54:00.000+05:30

When Chutku was born and we asked a panditji to write his janampatri he said: Oh! This one is a fiery fellow. He will be very stubborn and he will get angry very fast.

And I wondered every time I looked at a thin,frail, wrinkly little baby who would sleep on me through out the night,howl and whimper in colic pain - this fellow? angry? hmmmm, Im one too and I know how to handle him.

But I realise that its not at all easy! Nope! This little 2 feet fellow stands up to his full height, looks up at me or his Dad and says "AEye!" if he so much as thinks we might raise our voices. We should just let him be - to put his tiny fingers in the electric sockets, to chew his shoes :-( , to climb stairs on his own, to jumping down from the window sill, to walk on wet,fresh swabbed floor, to play in water - all these now! And depending on his mood he decides if he wants to cry or show his anger.

Today morning he realised he couldn't scream back at his Dad - so he began to cry and came out of the room searching for me - and he didn't find me anywhere close.Instead, he found the electric socket with the mosquito coil in it and he decided he can switch it on - and pooff! vanished all his tears - instantly, he was so thrilled on seeing the light on the mosquito coil switching on and off, his instant reaction was a very happy 'ayeee' - all anger forgotten...

And one look at me, he comes running with arms outstretched - "Ammmmaaaaaaaa" and there melts all my anger. The little monster knows how to make "mushys" out of his parents with just a look and a smile...

A humbling experience

2011-04-11T11:48:00.000+05:30

Saturday was spent with parents. While Dad and I were trying to feed a few morsels of food to the little fellow - standing in the compound, there came a Kabadi wallah. The house is on an incline and the man must've been atleast 55 pushing his cart with effort. He stopped in front of the house and began talking to Dad! I was a bit surprised initially and then realised that he is the regular guy to whom my Dad sells all the old newspapers and knew his life history. My Dad then asked him if his son got a job. I believe that Dad helped the son write his CV.

Slowly his story unravelled. Widower with 3 children - 2 daughters and 1 son, he came to Bengaluru, started with this Kabadi business and educated all his children. Yes! Even his daughters! His youngest daughter is studying in 1st year BCom and the son is an aeronautical engineer from an university in Tamil Nadu! And all the 3 children have studied with free seats - obviously because there wasn't any other way. The son has now got a job in a govt company and the eldest daughter has just delivered a daughter too. The man mentioned that the Son-In-law is a gem of a person and he loves his daughter. I liked the fact that here was this man from what we consider a lower strata - who educated his children with no discrimination of boy/girl and I also admire the children who realised the difficulty of the parent and put their best efforts to get where they are today!

And Yesterday while returning home, we saw a blind man with a guitar on his back and with a stick in his hand trying to figure out the way on the street in the dark...

Sigh.I feel so humbled. Life has been so easy for me...

CSAAM April 2011 - CSA Awareness month

2011-04-05T12:43:00.001+05:30

Do check this link: http://csaawarenessmonth.wordpress.com/ for all the information.

There is this great initiative in the blog world about Child Sexual Abuse and the entire month of April has been dedicated to Awareness. Sad but true - I've experienced myself and heard a lot of stories on this from many friends. This is bestest initiative I've come across here in the blogsphere so far and Im trying to do my bit. And like I was commenting on a Sanju's blog, If a couple of parents read this post and realise that its a big bad world out there and they need to equip their child to be prepared for the worst, let the child know that they as parents will always be there and support the child - I guess I would've done my small bit. Hats-Off to this initiative from Kiran and Monika for bringing up this topic and letting people tell their experiences - helping in some way to the healing process and best of all for bringing in the experts and teaching us parents how to handle something that is so obviously around but is all the time brushed under the carpet for various reasons.

Children are innocent - lets help retain that innocence...Lets do our bit - please spread the message around...

Here is what it is all about:

Child Sexual Abuse is a topic which is rarely discussed in India thanks to the social stigma and cultural taboos associated with it. Nonetheless, research does show that over 53 per cent of our children, across SECs, geographical locations and age groups report some degree of sexual abuse.

The CSAAM April 2011 is an effort by a group of bloggers, both parents and non parents, to bring this topic to the fore, to generate discussion and awareness and remove the shroud of silence that covers it.

Across the month of April 2011, we will have over 40 bloggers and non bloggers write about various aspects relating to child sexual abuse. We have the privilege and honour of being associated with NGOs like Arpan, Enfold, Rahi and Tulir, web portals like Womensweb.in, South Asian Parent and Blogadda who will partner us in this initiative to spread the word about child sexual abuse and the need to talk about this issue.

We also will compile resources which will help parents, educationists and caretakers to educate children about their bodies and their rights to their bodies. We will also have survivor stories, first person accounts of those who have endured sexual abuse in some form as children and experts talking with us about the emotional and psychological ramifications of this.
The Blog-A-Thon will occur through the month of April 2011 and if you want to be a part of this please leave a comment or mail us at csa.awareness.april@gmail.com

And here's how to Participate:
If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that we welcome entries mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR posted as FB notes and linked to Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Page OR posted on your own blog with the badge and linked to the main blog OR linked or posted on Twitter tagged twitter.com/CSAAwareness OR The list of topics is available here. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honoured.
Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com so that we can track your contribution and make sure that it is not inadvertently lost or something.